TDM 001

[erkumods]

TDM 001: TFLU

( 1 ) After leaving the teleportation chamber, you are gently coaxed out of the hospital and encouraged to find a place to stay. Maybe you've had time to check out your A5 app. Maybe you're just settling in. It's cloudy, overcast, cold -- you'll want to seek out someplace warm. Also, your device is beeping. A lot. The tech on the island works, it just doesn't work right. You can't seem to send a message to the correct person. It's time for... Texts From Last Universe ( 2 ) What's this? Your bingo card has just been beamed to a stranger's inbox...?! ( sample A5 cards -- NSFW, may contain triggering content, please feel free to use/ignore as you see fit) ( 3 ) And now you're receiving messages from other users that they don't remember sending: Nice shirt. It would look better on my floor. 10/10 would ride it into the sunset. This user thinks you're attractive. u up? 🍆 ( 4 ) Once you figure out that the robots have been hacking your devices, it's no easy feat to track one down and demand they stop. "So The Augur wills!" they wail in a monotone. "So it is done!" Any attempt to actually contact The Augur and get back into the hospital will be met with beefy robot bodyguards, who suggest taking a gentler approach to fix your devices. If you know what they mean. Wink. (This is your overt kink prompt. Please label any threads accordingly.) Note: All prompts are optional. The theme for this TDM is "malfunctioning devices." They can be fixed by indulging in the squares on your cards. For the sake of the TDM, you can use one of the pre-generated examples or a wildcard from the kink list. This can be used as a free bingo square completion once you have been accepted into the game. Players are welcome to wildcard their own TDM prompts; we only ask that you try to stick to the theme. ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● N A V I G A T I O N

Comments

QUESTIONS

[erkumods]

[gottabeshidinme]

1. What would happen if someone tried to, oh say, shock those pesky robots with an electric whip?
Asking for a friend. >>

2. What about the usernames on the communication bracelets? (Sorry if I missed this somewhere!) Is this something characters have to fill in themselves? Will it always be their real names? Or might the robots edit them into something embarrassing, too? Uncle Eggplant wants to know.

Lucas Roarke | OC Shapeshifter | OTA

[theriomorphism]

i: Wrong message?

Food as porn emojis have always just made me hungry.

[Feel free to answer to that one, or perhaps another missent text has been intercepted by one or the other party.]

ii: You want me to go where?

[It was chilly, but he ran a bit warm anyway, though he wasn't dressed to look like he should be all that comfortable. Still, he was, poorly, attempting to direct one of the metal walking automatons to allow him to talk to someone in charge.

All the winking in the world wasn't quite doing the job, however. And at this point, Lucas really just wanted to find out how he'd gotten here, where here was, exactly, and how he could either get away from here or what the layout of the place was entirely.]

Yes, thank you, I'm doing well. But I'd still like to see whoever's in charge. Is anyone in charge?

[Dear stars above, don't tell him that the entire city was run by robots. That didn't bode well for the bodies he'd scented milling about and the sounds of confusion coming from more than just himself.

(Feel free to interrupt his attempts to convince a robot that his programming was faulty, or perhaps distract him?]

iii: Wildcard

[This is the ANYTHING GOES spot. Perhaps it's textual. Perhaps it's just spotting something you like. Or maybe it's trying to find someone that seems to know what they're doing. Or... something a little more hands on? Lucas is default bicurious; only experienced with females but will be expanding his curiosity with males via game mechanics. I'm open to all gender/types, though he'll prefer people of the age of majority himself. Any questions or wanting to discuss, please PM this account. His info is available via his journal, but I'm always available for clarification.]

i

[falsified]

Food as what now? What are you talking about?

Catra ♦ She-Ra and the Princesses of Power ♦ S5 spoilers possible

[heterochrocatic]

1. Not here for it

Catra stumbles out of the hospital into the dark, windy that surround the hospital. Of all the things that she has been sure of in her life, she is the most sure that she needs to get out of here. THis isn't her world, this isn;t her fight, this isn't her job no matter what some miserable computer says. She stands in the empty street for a long moment, staring up at the stark white moon and stars, so different from the colorful night sky of Etheria. For a moment, she's tempted to cry, to feel pity for herself after so much had happened.

Instead, she settles on being angry.

"Why is it always me?" Catra stoops, to pick up a loose chunk of the street's asphalt and turns to hurl it as hard as she can against the door of the hospital. And if it just so happens that you're coming out when she does, oops? Hope whoever it is can duck on demand.

2. Blowing up my phone

As Catra's device begins to ping with incoming messages she scowls, then goes a little slack-jawed as she reads the incoming filth. Her cheeks color and then she sends off an angry reply:

if you try to 'ride' me i'm going to claw your eyes out, creep

3. Wildcard!

[ Something else in mind? Did her device send you a weird message on its own? Are the robots nudging you to meet a nice girl? Let's gooo. Also willing to use brackets, so feel free to use either format, I'll match. Also if you don't want Season 5 spoilers, please let me know so I can avoid them! ]

1

[beloveddaughter]

Good thing E'dolha's got them archer reflexes to dart out of the way, though if this is how she's being greeted in this place then maybe she should've stayed indoors for a little while longer. She looks the person who threw the rock up and down—another cat person with different-colored eyes. Well, maybe that's just what this place is like. Straightening the collar of her shirt, she takes a few steps further out into this new world.

"Rough awakening, dear?" she asks smoothly, trying not to let it show just how badly the dodge had surprised her. "There's better ways to get your anger out. Have you tried punching bags?" And her hand goes up into her hair to brush out a stray pebble.

Jonathan Sims | The Magnus Archives

[recordingends]

1. What?

He doesn't know where he is and he doesn't remember how he got here, but his phone keeps going off and it's driving him absolutely insane. Jon tries to turn it off, but it won't. He resists the urge to throw it because--because what if any of these are from someone he knows? But there are so many.

With decided concentration, Jon attempts to send a text to Martin and another to Melanie. But what he sends isn't what he types, and he has no idea the number he just sent it to.

I find you irresistible.

What?


2. Why?

Jon stares at the card. It's got someone else's name on it, but it's in his inbox. And it's--it looks like a bingo card, but rather than letters and numbers it's filled with sex acts. Does that mean there's a card with his name on it floating around somewhere?

And what does it mean? And how does he get it back?


3. How--?

Nice shirt, it would look better on my floor.

"Oh good God," he sputters out loud. He looks around, clutching his phone like someone else might have seen it. But who sent it? And why? Once he collects himself, he fires a message back:

I would prefer my shirt to stay right where it is, thank you.


Wildcard

[Jon is confused, annoyed, and on edge. He really just wants to find a quiet place to sit and pull himself together. He shouldn't get one. Permissions/opt-out is here. If you have any questions, feel free to PM me!]

3

[heterochrocatic]

What the hell? This is just another strange message. Catra knows she should ignore it, really. And yet, the bubbling anger and resentment demand an outlet and so:

i don't want your gross shirt you weirdo

mcgillis fareed | iron blooded orphans

[mcvillain]

i. sharing is caring.

[It's cold. It's raw. And McGillis Fareed is, most definitely, not having a good time.

Kidnapping was one thing; interrupting his plans was another, and it's only after a great deal of grumbling that he manages to find shelter in the form of a dilapidated building. Falling apart, just like the man in question, who huddles in the corner and hoards his blanket as if it's his last salvation. And it very well might be.

Should you decide to approach this surly looking individual, he glares daggers and tells you:]

Go get your own.

[Seems somebody never learned to share. But maybe he'll relent if you pester him a bit... or maybe he won't. Snakes do tend to bite when cornered, after all.]

ii. obligatory texting thread.

[Your device beeps with a flurry of messages. None are friendly, arriving rapid fire, one after another.]

Explain yourself.

Why are you soliciting me with sex?

I have no interest in your eggplant.

Revoke it at once.

Or I'll revoke you.

[A case of mistaken identity? Perhaps, but he won't let up until you reply. Enjoy McGillis lighting up your inbox with all the anger of a rampaging beast.]

iii. that's a bingo.

[Well, trying to muscle his way past the bodyguards didn't work. Take a gentler approach, they said. Love your neighbor, they insisted. Which just earns a doubtful sigh from McGillis, who tracks down the nearest "neighbor" to fulfill the task. Because he's got places to be, and worlds to reform, and you happen to be on the menu. He pulls up his card and orders you thus:]

Assist me with this card. So I can get back to business.

[There's a variety of choices, and although McGillis was a pushy man on his best days, he won't force anything on anyone. If you refuse, he'll try to peek at your card instead, solely for the sake of biting commentary. He's also smirking like the biggest and broadest of assholes, just to rub it in.]

How distasteful. You really should be ashamed of something so debased.

[The nerve! The audacity! You're not going to let him get away with that, are you?]

iv. wildcard.

[Hit me with whatever you've got! Happy to workshop any ideas.]

(( Relevant information and permissions, along with an opt-out for sensitive content. Feel free to pick anything off my "yes" or "maybe" list for the kink prompts; I love to chat and I'm happy to plot this out too. M/M only for smut, but open to all for everything else! Bring me your men, your women, and everything in between. ))

ii | un: nc

[cappelli]

[ what—

what the hell is this person talking about? ]

i never solicited you
i don't even know who you are

you can keep the eggplant [ because wth??? ]

gwen stacy . marvel comics ( crau optional )

[gwenzelle]

1. choose your own adventure

[ weeeeelllp. this is new.

gwen's been dropped into random universes before, intentionally and unintentionally, but this is definitely a new one. and it's definitely got venom's attention, but it's more focused on trying to figure out where to find snacks than anything else. gwen on the other hand is more distracted by the fact that this place is kind of a wasteland, and after three attempts, it's obvious her portal charm isn't working right either. but they did mention that the tech here can act up a little sometimes. maybe it's the same for tech she brought from home. which, y'know, sucks. but if this city needs help rebuilding, she's at least going to have a look around to see what she can do while she's stuck here.

focus on what she can do, not what she can't do. be proactive, not reactive. right. peter would definitely be proud of her for keeping her cool right now. ohyeah. so cool.

after wandering around for a while, she eventually picks a building to head into, getting right to webbing certain parts of the structure that look a little wobbly or dangerous. it's not a permanent fix, but it'll hold up for a few days, at least. thanks, venom. when she picks a spot to perch up on the roof, it's partly just to take a break, but also so she can people-watch.

okay, more like robot-watch.

the ai seem friendly enough, just judging by how they're interacting with the people below, but there are way too many questions rattling through her brain to just trust any part of this, including the helpers. she's not exactly being subtle about her time spent watching everything going on either, sitting on the ledge of the building like a curious, blonde gargoyle, and even taking advantage of her sticky feet and walking along the side of the building if she's following a particularly suspicious ai - so if someone were to notice her she doesn't exactly look unapproachable. she might even smile and wave to anybody who happens to look up.

or maybe you're in the building she's sitting on top of, and part of the structure starts to fall apart. a faulty staircase? a hole in the floor? either way, if something goes wrong, gwen will be there quick to catch you with a web or in her arms if she can get there fast enough - thanks spider-sense! ]

2. and bingo was his name-o

[ there's a ping on your device, and surprise! it's gwen's bingo card. which includes: dirty talk, endurance, flexibility, messy, orgasm control, and oral fixation/sex or basically anything on her kink list. duplicity crau will handle this mishap with some grace, but full canon gwen's going to be confused. and mortified. mostly mortified. ]

3. is that a mirror in your pocket? ( tfln style - pick one! )
un: gwenzelle

( 1 ) just call me kirby, because i'm taking you to dreamland.

( 2 ) damn! you must have been a taser in another life, because you are stunning!

( 3 ) i'm not photographer, but i can definitely picture us together.

[ ooc; definitely up for duplicity crau, just let me know in the subject! i'm also up for wildcard shenanigans - if you want your character to land themselves in some kind of trouble and need a spidey to help bail them out, gwen can be there. or if you want to try a different kind of texting prompt, i'll basically roll with anything you toss my way. i'm also up for text threads moving to action, if that's where it goes. pm me if you'd like to make plans first. ]

2

[wickedlyable]

who... are you

and why do i have a menu of the shit you like in bed

Omi Fushimi | A3! | OTA

[housewolf]

I.

[He's yet to see anybody from home on this island, but honestly why would he expect them? He hovers right outside of the hospital, waiting, waiting. Wondering if somebody's about to show up with better answers than he's been given.

So there's this six foot something man, watching the door and occasionally trying to deal with his device constantly ringing.]

II.

10/10 would ride into the sunset.
Come here so I can cover you in bite marks.
The only sport I play is sucking dick.
Sleep on my tits.

[Why on earth is he getting this stuff?

And he's sending it out too?!]

II

[wineaunt]

What a way to greet someone... Bite marks as a hello? Are you an animal of some kind, perhaps?

[Azuma clearly doesn't know who's sending this... he just got here, too.]

Melfina | Outlaw Star

[oftheleyline]

01 - Beep Beep Distraction

[The obvious questions include such things as 'where am I' and 'how did I get here' and 'where are the others'. (Followed by and closely interwoven with 'are they here, too'.) They linger at the forefront of her mind as she steps along carefully after being rushed along.

A place to stay.
...A place to stay?

She's not exactly used to making these kinds of decisions herself. With a transparently inquisitive stare, she's taking in the sights and sounds. She probably can't be too picky. Good thing she's had some exposure to a simpler lifestyle, considering 'making it big' isn't exactly something that happens every day.

(Or ever when it comes to brash people, it seems.)

The moment her device begins to go off, however, it comes in a whole slew or orchestral one-note accompaniment. Maybe it's that she walks into you. Maybe it's just a collision of shoulders. Regardless, that's what she gets for not keeping her eyes ahead of herself.]

Oh...! Sorry. I didn't mean to.

[Walk into you, she means.]

---

02 - Wrong Number, Who This

[...Wait. What's the eggplant for? Melfina is way too innocent for most of these kinds of messages, but she's almost certain Gene would be able to translate.

...Maybe Gene's the one who sent them. She can't tell because she can't even identify the sender. Senders?]

I don't think I want to put eggplant in my stew. I was thinking maybe zucchini instead?

[That absolutely doesn't make it any better.]

---

03 - Wildcard

[What it says on the tin. Misfired text messages, something else to do with erroneous device features. I'm quite happy to hash something out.]

1

[automatized]

[ he at least catches her, the moment he bumps into her. to be fair, he’d been a little distracted by the device beeping over and over, as well.

vidar is tall, has a rather oddly shaped mask, and when he talks his voice is tuned to a robotic drone. ]

It’s alright. I was distracted.

Ronan Lynch | The Raven Cycle

[perfectlycivil]

One: Misfires

1. u up?

2. i guess you're okay

3. shhh embrace your inner whore. just embrace it.

4. text him


Two: Fuck

Ronan fucking hates hospitals and he's still trying to shake off the weird feeling he got from waking up in one with no memory of how he got there. At least this time he's in one piece, as far as he can tell. He fiddles with the bracelet thing they put on him, laying over the leather bands wrapped around his wrist already.

If he's dreaming, he can't control it. If he isn't dreaming... he doesn't know what his options are. What the fuck.

He's standing and looking at some of the buildings like he could murder them when someone bumps into him.

"Hey, fucking watch it."

Little does Ronan know that there's a card popping into people's inboxes. A card with his name on it.


Three: Answers

Ronan lifts an eyebrow, utterly unamused when his phone starts blowing up with some salacious offers. He rolls his eyes and ignores them for a while, but eventually he starts scrolling through them.

1. fuck the horse you rode in on, i'm not interested.

2. this user can fuck off

3. 🔪🔪🔪


Four

[Wildcard! M/M only for smut but anyone's welcome to try.]

1, 2 misfires

[automatized]

What lead to that conclusion?

Ren Amamiya/Joker | Persona 5 Royal | OTA

[tricksterious]

I. HANGING AROUND

[ Initially after leaving the hospital, Ren will find the nearest warm building that doesn't look either claimed or completely uninhabitable. If it's open, great. If not you can find the messy-haired teen picking the lock. He'll pretend he didn't, maybe, if you take offense, but look: it's cold and overcast and looks like it might rain to him and Ren would prefer to deal with that from a location where he might possible be able to stay warm and cozy.

If you don't take offense and just want inside, feel free to join him. He couldn't look less unassuming with those huge glasses.

He'll find a nice location to flop down - maybe a window seat - and proceed to ignore his beeping bracelet, trying to catch a cat nap instead.

Eventually, however, he gives up and stares at it reproachfully, so if you didn't approach him when he was Breaking And Entering, you can catch him murmuring: ]

Sleep mode...

[ Please acquire one. :( ]

II. TEXTS FROM LAST UNIVERSE

A. KINK BINGO
[ UN: joker has sent you a bingo card, although it wasn't on purpose. ]

B. SENT PICK UP LINES
[ UN: joker can send any of the following pick up lines thanks to device malfunctions: ]

1. My doctor says I’m lacking in vitamin U.

2. I had a flush until you stole my heart.

3. 🍆🍆🍆

C. RECEIVED ANSWERS
[ Or if your device sent him something...UN: joker can send some of the following (although feel free to send something you'd like a custome response for of course): ]

1. Can I ask for cat pictures instead?

2. This is moving a little fast. Can you take me out for coffee first? Or anything to drink not supplied by suspiciously winking robots. That's the true way to my heart.

III. TECH SUPPORT?

[ Eventually, the device is Annoying enough that Ren gets tired of the constant misfires - which, okay, entertaining for a long while but - because he'd like to 1) sleep and 2) be able to contact people regularly without running the gauntlet of whatever this is, so.

You can either find him in person, his bingo card pulled up on his bracelet as he flags you down to discuss maybe doing something together, or this time he'll send his kink bingo on purpose to anyone...

Not that he has a single clue where it'll end up. The texted version will come from the UN: joker and will read: Care to lend a hand? ]

WILDCARD

[ Here is a kinklist and permissions post if you require either. Please feel free to make up a prompt or contact me to plot out something specific either via pm or at roseburst or Maggie#0451. I'll match brackets or prose if you prefer, though I default to/prefer brackets. ]

B....ecause I had to

[heartsy]

[ Upon receiving a message, Yusuke checks the device to see... eggplants. Several, actually. Blinking, he looks at the username and-- well, that's a relief. Surely there's nothing odd to be found there. ]

An odd choice. However I am feeling hungry, if you're offering.

Ruggie Bucchi | Twisted Wonderland | ota

[ruggie]

a. Hacked (Probably) Messages

[So, you may at some point receive some text messages from Ruggie's device. It's not properly labeled with a name, instead the sender is just some sort of obvious spambot name: "hyenahottie69" "slut4donuts" "bitcchi_in_heat" etc. Any of the following are on the table, if you're inclined to actually reply,]

Listen, if you think anything is going to get between me and licking every bit of whipped cream off your body, you're WRONG.

I just wanna get pegged is that too much to ask?

Hey, just saying, a hard-on is a sign of submission for hyenas so I AM being polite. ;)

I can't believe I make it to a place with no laws and there's nothing to steal.

b. So The Augur Wills

[Slowly but surely different groups of people find the source of the issue and try to reason with robots that clearly can't be reasoned with. Ruggie wasn't the type to try and storm the hospital- that sort of thing was way too direct and he'd seen a couple of hero-types get sent packing on their asses. So, they needed a "gentle" solution, huh?]

[The spam messages were't enough to make Ruggie desperate but he knew an opportunity when he saw it.]

Yo. [he greets a person in a nice, secluded area] You want to get this thing fixed, right? I happened to overhear those robo-goons and I know exactly what you're supposed to do!

[is he telling the truth? lying? both?]

c. A Different Malfunctioning Device

[So, as a reward for some ill-gotten activity, Ruggie was gifted something. Normally he loved gifts. Who didn't love free stuff? Still, this gift definitely was given with a sort of fucked-up sense of humor...]

[Ruggie is perched on the windowsill of one of the old, forgotten buildings. The yellow on his clothes pops brightly against the grey, dismal landscape. Getting closer, people may notice another pop of color on the ground level. It's. Hm. (nsfw) The brightly colored sex toy is writhing and hopping, almost more like a wild animal than an inanimate object. Get too close and it will start flopping in the direction of the nearest warm body (or, you know, whatever your character's got).]

Caaaa~reful, [Ruggie calls down from his little crow's nest of safety]

That thing's got a mind of its own. Try not to get caught! [and he hides a laugh behind his hand]

d. wildcard

(ooc: other ideas? wanna plot or custom starter? hit me up. character is 17, open to saucy threads with any and all identifications. can match format if preferred)

IMMA GONNA LOVE THE CUTE HYENA BOI so the augur wills!!

[mcvillain]

[McGillis halts at the sound of a shrieking, shrill hyena... oh, wait. It's a literal hyena. Not that he can tell the difference, so focused on those perky ears and that clever curve of his smile. It at least manages to grab his attention, although he raises a slim brow at the claim.]

By all means, then. Fill me in.

[Is he telling the truth? Lying? Both? Doesn't matter. He'll get further with him than with these robotic goons, so he's all ears. The normal kind.]

geralt of rivia | the witcher | ota

[decoctions]

I. technical difficulties

[ Here's an image: fully armored, two swords, cat eyes and all, Geralt makes a deeply anachronistic (and sort of ridiculous) picture sitting on a rusting stool he'd collected from a dilapidated house, balanced precariously on only three legs rather than the four it was clearly intended to have. He's near enough to see the hospital without being disturbed by its comings and goings, and outwardly unconcerned by the less than ideal weather conditions. Privately however, he's annoyed by the occasional sprinkling rain and chill in the air. Witchering is far from a comfortable trade, but anyone would prefer a warm fire and mug of ale to this shit. His legs are stretched out in front of him, though he's crouching over his own extended arm where his bracelet is making a constant and jarring beeping noise, which blares through the otherwise oddly quiet evening air.

He's just sort of tapping at random and scowling. Maybe like your dad trying out an iPhone for the first time. ]

Shit. How do I shut this up?

II. i'm so sorry

[ Someone is going to be receiving a flurry of texts from Geralt--or rather, from whatever is texting from Geralt's device. The first message is a photo. It's a picture of a sword. Granted, it's a pretty cool sword. A wolf's head snarls on the pommel, the crossguard is angled up and out on both sides, and the blade is shining, well-maintained silver. The problem is that Geralt didn't take this picture (he doesn't even know how), and he certainly didn't send it. Nor is he responsible for the message that follows a moment later. ]

I showed you my sword, please respond?

[ This is aggravating. He's spent long enough just figuring out how to type and send messages, and now this thing is deciding what to say for him? The next text is one he is responsible for. ]

sorry. that wasn't me

[ And another a moment later: ]

that is my sword though

III. wildcard

( Open to receiving accidentally sent bingo cards, misfired texts, or other random encounters. Feel free to PM with any questions. Geralt is from the game + book canon. Open to m/f and m/m for smut, but only with characters 21+ please. Still working on an info/permissions page, but there's a basic kink list over here. )

ii

[perfectlycivil]

sorry my sword didn't make the trip
nice fuller

how OLD are you man?

trevor belmont | castlevania

[familycrest]

02 ↝ bingo cards

[ trevor's bingo card has landed in your inbox.

once he's figured out enough of this network to realise it (or once he's received a reply to make him aware of it), a second message will follow: ]

yeah, i don't know what half of these mean

[ that's. mostly a lie, but not entirely. half may be stretching it, though. ]

03 ↝ misfire

[ after receiving a 🍆: ] is that some kind of flower?

-- ↝ wildcard

[ one of the —creatures? robots? whatever the fuck they are? has offered trevor something to eat. it looks dubious at best, but the truth is that he stopped being picky a long time ago. so of course he's eaten it. maybe mentioned how much he'd like a beer to wash it down.

maybe he should have been a bit more discerning what he put in his mouth, though; not long after, he starts feeling strange. a little too hot, a little desperate in a way he doesn't usually. wanting something he can't quite put his finger on, although the longer he waits, the clearer an idea he gets of what his body wants, needs. ]

-- ↝ ooc

[ ooc: stuff that might/will probably come up in threading with trevor involves murder, war, death, genocide, loss, depression, violence, possibly other horribleness i can't think of rn.

also for the wildcard prompt, feel free to pick any kink mentioned on the bingo card linked above or hit me up oocly for anything else. i'd prefer if both parties have ingested some laced food or neither, but not that one has and the other hasn't. ]

03

[gottabeshidinme]

Is what some kind of flower?
Do you really not know what a flower looks like?

Laps Lazuli | Steven Universe | OTA

[mirrortide]

(1) Messaged Recieved
[This is new! Exciting! Absolutely terrible and Lapis wants nothing to do with it! She hates it! She hates the device that keeps insistently beeping no matter how many times she scrolls through the recieved messages, because for every one she reads, about three more pop up in its place! It's absolutely infuriating. She has no idea what half the stuff she's getting even means!

Which means, she's quick to put herself in the path of anyone who might be around, and she might be a little exasperated as she talks.]

Can you please help me? I have no idea what a "Polar Bear" even is. Or why it needs to break the ice. Or why people keep sending eggplants?

(2) Worlds Worst Pickup Lines
[Or, perhaps, you get an extremely bad pickup line.]

un: pierre

1. lets meet up and ill make sure youre cummingtonite
2. are you the ocean? because id like to take you home with me
3. i might only be a 6 on the mohs scale, but i'm more than hard enough for you
4. are you a diamond because if not I'd like to subject you to intense heat and pressure deep within the earth's crust for three billion years to rectify that

[Hm. That last one sounds vaguely like a threat, doesn't it! Oh well!

You can also text her!]

(3) Wildcard

[hmu with whatever you want! Or pm me if you want a specific thing. I'm easy ;).]

1

[wickedlyable]

[ johanna is happy to help, looking up from her phone upon hearing lapis' voice. spending her first couple hours in this place fielding shitty pickup lines - or worse - hasn't been her idea of a good time.

the anger she's feeling comes through her voice as she responds, dry and irritated. ] Someone with the maturity of a teenage boy has hacked all of our phones because that's what gets their rocks off, I guess.

An eggplant emoji is a dick. [ sorry, lapis - jo isn't in a very patient mood. ]

Martin Blackwood | The Magnus Archives

[mblackwood]

One: Text Misfires

1. I'm sorry that's just not my cup of tea

2. But how do you even get into that position?

3. I write poetry.

4. I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.

5. Text Him


Two: Bingo

"O-oh." Martin blinks at the card that's ended up in his inbox, now that he's figured out how to access his inbox. His phone is still chirping alerts but it's the bingo-sort-of-card that's really caught his attention, if the blush rising in his face is any indication.

"I don't--are we supposed to--?"

Martin clears his throat and makes himself stand a bit straighter.

"What are we supposed to do with these?"

As if that isn't abundantly obvious by the nature of the squares on each card.


Three: Lost

Martin finds somewhere to sit. He looks at his phone forlornly: every attempt he's made to text a number he knows has just returned something slightly horrifying or very, very forward from numbers he doesn't know. He's given up trying to get in touch with anyone.

Waking up in the hospital, he thought, would be the worst part of his day. Apparently not. All he needs now is for it to start raining before he's found anywhere to stay, and given the overcast sky overhead, that is a distinct possibility.

He tries to catch the attention of a passer-by. "I'm sorry, do you... know what's happening?"


Four: Wildcard

[Surprise us! Will match format. Feel free to pick a random A5 card for Martin.]

3

[gottabeshidinme]

There's something especially intimidating about the way Jiang Cheng looks down at the poor, seated person who addresses him. It would be easy to mistake the anger and hostility overflowing in his eyes as being aimed at Martin - but after a moment of judgment and subsequent mental dismissal, Jiang Cheng looks away.

"I know what they told us. Whether that is what's happening remains to be seen."

Some spirit(?) dragging them all into a different world? That's already a lot to believe. No spirit Jiang Cheng knows is remotely that powerful.

Azuma Yukishiro | A3! | Spoilers for Act 2 possible

[wineaunt]

1. Bingo?

[Azuma is minding his own gorgeous business right outside of the hospital, tucking some long silver hair back over one ear while he ponders the device. And moreover, the bingo card.

He's looking at it with a mixture of amusement and curiosity, using that to stave off the fear of being alone, when he sees a little message pop up indicating it's been beamed to someone nearby.]

Oh dear... that's one way to meet people, I suppose...


2. Accidents happen?

[Azuma looks at his device as a few confused messages hit him. When he looks at the unknown contacts, he sees it shows he sent... things?]

Is that a banana in your pocket or can I get on my knees now?

Being a switch is about versatility, not indecision.

I can't say it would be the first or last time I dress as a woman!

Do I really look good enough to eat?

[Why does that last one have a selfie attached?!?!?]


3. Suggestive suggestions

[It's not like sex is a great leap for Azuma. He'll at least admit to getting close with clients before, though going all the way is hush-hush and silenced with a wink. But the fact is that he's been told a little action will make the annoyances stop, and he doesn't mind that so much. It's not like it needs to mean anything. So he sends messages back to the glitchy parties now, explaining that he's willing to help... if they're compatible, that is.]


4. Wildcard

[Drop me a DM for other ideas! Azuma's prefs are very open to everyone; he is supposedly in his 30s. We think.]

2

[ruggie]

[you know the random messages can be explained away but could these things really force you to take suggestive selfies?? press x to doubt]

[... that said]

Yeah. Your neck definitely looks like it tastes like milk candy.

vidar / iron blooded orphans

[automatized]

I. HANGAR // CITY OUTSKIRTS

[ far at the outskirts of the city is the hangar. this gentleman can be seen at the very top of a giant robot, texting.

feel free to call out to him! if your character’s inclined, he can give them a ride, though there won’t be any room in the cockpit so the gundam will hold them. ]


II. TEXTING // MISFIRES

[ UN. VIDAR

any sexts misfired to vidar are going to be rated. here are his responses: ]

5/10, noted.

8/10, good effort, very spicy.

3/10, I’m not really sure about that simile, but you worked hard for it.

0/10 Do you need help?

III. WILDCARD

[ if you want to play with receiving his card, here is his preferences list, just pick one.

otherwise, i’m pretty open! ]

II

[housewolf]

I do need help. I can't seem to stop it from sending messages I didn't write.

Aisha Clanclan | Outlaw Star

[herplaceinthesun]

one

[Somehow, the robots manage to toss the belligerent Ctarl right out of the hospital. Now every other person that leaves the building is met with the lovely soundtrack of pissed off yelling and cat noises.]

You aren't even going to offer me a crappy job? How's Aisha supposed to get by in this dump?

[Is that... sniffling?]

two

[Welcome to: Random Messages you might get from Aisha's device!]

How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar

I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.

You know what winks and then screws like a tiger? {Wink}

three

{OOC: the kink prompt, open to nsfw antics, OTA!}

[Hey, interested or interested stranger! Or stranger that's deliberately ignoring her, she loves those... anyway, a young woman with cat ears is approaching you and pointing to two particular spots on her bingo card.

Drug/alcohol use and Food]

You think they'll give us some of this stuff if we play along?

wildcard

{Anything you want to do that I didn't think of? Go for it!}

three aka slams into the gluttony prompt

[ruggie]

[It's not even like a lady with cat ears is a big surprise- sure, she could be some kind of savanna cat, that tracks. Ruggie's own big, rounded ears briefly flatten then perk up again when he's approached.]

Hm? Oh, that card thing...

[he hadn't paid it too much mind yet, although his eyes light on the one's she's pointed at and]

[his poker face is good but his short tail is immediately swishing back and forth]

Ah, yeah, that makes sense! If they want us to do it so bad, they've gotta provide the stuff, don't they? They'd probably give us enough to get by anyways but... those kind of portions are such a drag!

max guevara (crau) | dark angel

[revvedup]

everything i thought i'd learned

[ max is already supremely unfond of hospital settings and being experimented on and the the augur is no exception, although at this point she's at least familiar with being taken out of one world and dropped into another. she can't tell yet whether or not this place is worse than the last one; it seems as if there are fewer people out for blood and less threat of imminent destruction here, but that's probably because all the destruction has already happened. apparently they can restore it by partaking in the acts on these cards (something she hasn't bothered to look at yet), but in the meantime she's trying to find a place to hunker down until she can process everything.

at least this place has her bike, however impossible that may be.

eventually she finds a run down apartment building with semi-functional facilities (semi-functioning meaning she's able to get electricity and water running, albeit with a significant amount of improvisation and time put into it, and there's a couch in the place that doesn't look entirely moth eaten) and for a second or two she's reminded of home enough to feel...well, comfortable's not the word, but less cagey.

those passing the building by might be intrigued by the lit-up apartment and want to ask her for help, or those seeing her between there and the hospital might have a few questions, whether they're about her motorcycle or the blue matter in her chest or just a general 'hey what the fuck, am i right?'. depending on where you find her there are times where she might be more amenable to this than others. ]

now do that thing i like

[ whatever decent mood she might have been able to muster up is bound to vanish once she realizes her A5 card is out in the open, especially since she hasn't even looked at her yet. acts included on the card are temperature play, oral sex, endurance, kissing, and, much to her eventual chagrin, breeding/in heat. ]

just know you're talkin' 'cause your lips keep moving (UN: guevara)

i've heard worse lines than this but that doesn't mean i'm interested. knock it off.

'cause right now you're just enough for me, i want you near

[ wildcard! i'll roll with whatever text or action prompt you've got in mind. max has the additional ability of psychometry due to her time in a past game so in order to avoid inflicting that on herself she'll consistently be wearing gloves, if you'd like to do something where she's on the receiving end of the memory of your character's we can absolutely do something with that! if you have questions feel free to PM me. m/f for smut, at least for now. ]

text; un: b.blake

[tombom]

I never sent you a line. Something's wrong with my bracelet.

And this probably sounds like I'm making an excuse for an unsuccessful line. Trust me, I don't need to use lines. [ And when have they ever worked? ]

Jiang Cheng | Mo Dao Zu Shi

[gottabeshidinme]

((OOC: No underage smut for now, please, but misfires and general misunderstandings absolutely welcome. Actual smut may be a bit rough-going for now anyway, since Jiang Cheng is... /gestures))

{A}

[Surprising absolutely no one, this guy in the long purple robes who looks like he walked out of Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon doesn't understand the first thing about technology. Of course he'd taken the stupid, beeping bracelet off the first chance he had - but then he'd suddenly found himself unable to understand what anyone was saying, and - far worse - the reverse proved true as well. So whatever this frustrating magic is, he'll have to put up with it for now, trying to ignore the ceaseless beeping.

Too bad this makes him completely oblivious as to how his bingo card is being sent around. What's on there? Anything. It could be anything...]

{B}

[Eventually he realizes that the beeping isn't always just pointless noise, and sometimes it means that there's a written text sent to him. Or from him..? No, that definitely can't be right, since he didn't write anything.

And yet there are the most embarrassing messages on your device, sent from someone identified only as... uncle_egglant. Or is it jiujiucy? no_talk_big_stalk? Let's just hope there are no lotus seed jokes, because some things are a bit too much!]

{C}

[Maybe you saw it happening. Maybe you just happen upon someone who is, no matter how briefly, lying on the floor, unconscious. (Yeah, that can only end well in a place like this!) Either way, what happened is the following: Jiang Cheng, finally losing his temper at one of the strange metal dolls, decided to unleash all his rage on the poor(?) thing, hitting it full-force with a purple electric whip. If it really was a possessed metal doll, this would fix it! So clearly this was a sane move not at all brought on by Jiang Cheng's need for anger management therapy!

But, as luck (and karma) would have it, the robot shocked Jiang Cheng right back - and now here we are, with Jiang Cheng unconscious on the ground, that purple electric whip suddenly vanished, leaving only the silver ring on his right index finger where the electricity had come from, before.

He won't be out of it for long, but, maybe help? Or the opposite. The opposite works, too.]

B

[noenvy]

[UN: whatever]

[Leave it to Wei Wuxian to only need a few hours to mostly figure out how to use the strange wrist devices. He didn't know everything, but he knew how to get and send messages at least.]

You want to plant your lotus seed in my what now?

Rey | Star Wars | ota

[reydacted]

1. Call and response

1. I think I’d just get chilly.
2. Are there speeders around here? I’d take a drive.
3. Oh... thank you?
4. Up where? Do you need help?
5. I don’t recognize that vegetable. What’s it taste like?

2. Misfires

Is that a lightsaber in your pocket or are you happy to see me?

[ After sending a few responses to the rogue messages, Rey recognizes the characteristic ping of a delivered message. Odd, but maybe it got jostled on her wrist. She pauses and flicks open the messaging app and is mortified to see what she sent. ]

Oh gross-- In what universe would anyone think that’s smooth anyway.

[ And after a beat. ]

You don’t have a lightsaber do you?

[ Just making sure. ]

3. Let's Explore

[ Rey’s a scavenger. She’s adaptable and equipped with a keen survival sense. And while this isn’t the first time she’s been plucked out of a familiar life and thrust into something new and thrust into a totally unfamiliar role. Although, there’s something to be said for being aware and (mostly) conscious for that transition that was sorely lacking here. It unnerves her.

But being outwardly scared doesn’t get you far in the dog-eat-dog desert world, and she doesn’t think it’s going to do her much good here either. It’s second nature to squash it down and buck up anyway, so she puts on her brave face and sets out to explore on her own.

The buildings are rundown seemingly picked over, but Rey’s got an eye for garbage. It doesn’t take her long to start collecting bits and pieces of tech that looks totally annihilated and unsalvageable. If it’s even remotely shiny or a piece of wire longer than an inch or two she’s picking it up.

Inevitably, her arms are soon full of stuff, and she probably looks a little bit insane walking down the street with the trash other people passed up as worthless. She’s starting to drop things, though, so this isn’t a great long term solution until her eyes catch something that could be useful. ]

Hey-- Is that a tarp under that pile of bricks? Think you can pull it out for me?

[ They could go tumbling with a trick of the Force but she’s not quite sure she’s ready to show her hand to a stranger in this place. ]

4. Wildcard.

[ Something different? Feel free to pm or private plurk colster. You can also assume 'Rey' just sent any of the sample bingo cards. For any Star Wars folks, I haven't decided on a TLJ or TROS canon point but I'm leaning towards TLJ. ]

3

[theriomorphism]

[Lucas can appreciate the need for a little secrecy about certain things; he has his own private matters he's not entirely certain of spilling at the moment.

But the girl looks like she's trying to be industrious and do things for herself, and he can appreciate that. A little help never hurt anything, so at the request, he hops over to shift a bit of the bricks to the side, giving it a slow but steady tug. He's stronger than he looks, so he doesn't want to yank too hard and risk tearing, but a slow, steady, increasing pressure should help slide it out.]

Not at all. Mind if I ask what you have planned for it?

cecil palmer ( wtnv )

[omnisciens]

( tflu )

[ texts you may receive from cecil's bracelet are, uh, Like That. ]

1. it's too heterosexual here, you should help me change that
2. i was feeling pretty off today, but you turned me back on
3. one two three fourrrrnication!

( oh is that all? )

[ cecil looks.. troubled. but that's probably the least of his concerns, as he also has dimly-glowing lilac eyes and tattoos of tentacles and eyes and other designs moving across what's visible of his skin.

anyone close by can see his expression is because he's looking over his bingo card, but after a moment, he taps xenophilia with a little laugh. ] Oh, that one's easy. [ under his rolled-up shirt sleeves, one of the tentacle tattoos moves, lifting up off his skin, glowing gently like his eyes at the tip. then it sinks right back down against his skin. ] At least, it would be if my husband was here. Honestly, it's very rude to kidnap someone to some sort of-- of sexy island without their spouse. [ a glance up, brows shooting up. ] Don't you think?

( wildcard )

[ idk hit me with your own prompts or your own bad accidental pickup lines. also, info about his anatomy is in his journal if uhh interested. ]

tflu 1

[conjobs]

We can't have that now can we love? Do you want to meet?

wynonna earp (crau) | show of the same name

[earps]

getting to know you

[ It'd be different, Wynonna thinks, if this was her first rodeo in terms of waking up in a place that isn't her impossibly tiny hometown in the middle of Canada's proverbial asscrack — but she's almost better prepared to take the sudden change in her surroundings as it happens, even if it takes every ounce of self-control in her not to twitch while she's scanned from head-to-toe, or snarkily answer back while she's given the vaguest of breakdowns about where she's been snatched to in an impossibly clean-looking room.

Wherever she is, this definitely isn't home, but it might also not be the city she's spent the last year and a half of her life in either; all she can do now is put on her big girl pants and figure out how she got here and whether or not anyone else she knows has been dragged into it too.

Of course her first instinct is to check the device she's been given, but no matter what she does, she can't seem to make it work for her and the only thing this piece of crap does is continue to beep at her, so anyone who happens to be walking by as she walks out of the hospital might actually be forced to catch her bracelet for her (or dodge it) as she rips it off and throws it in frustration. ] Son of a — oh shit, can you do me a solid and toss that back to me?

getting to know all about you

[ Surprise! It's Wynonna's bingo card showing up on your device now, although she's not going to realize other people can see it too until it's brought to her attention. Acts included on the card include anything on this list, but most definitely hair pulling, messy, striptease, oral fixation/oral sex, water, spanking, and hands/fingers. She doesn't even have it in her to be embarrassed, but sure, if you're curious you can always ask her about what's on it. ]

suddenly i'm bright and breezy

[ Enjoy any or all of the following pick-up lines thanks to her device suddenly going haywire: ]

1. Come over right now so I can suck your dick.

2. You look like the kind of bad decision I love to make.

3. I came here to drink whiskey and bang it out and I'm all out of whiskey.

[ At this point, even if she realizes something has been sent from her device in error, she's just going to roll with it depending on the recipient. It takes a hell of a lot to really embarrass her anymore. ]

[ ooc note: wildcard options are available too! wynonna is a crau from duplicity, where she spent a year and a half dealing with D/s dynamics and lots of kinky things, so this is remarkably not all that difficult for her to adjust to. if you'd prefer her not to recognize your character from her time in dup she can always get struck by a sudden case of face blindness! preferences are f/m, f/f, 21+ for smut. feel free to PM or contact me at favoritings with any plot ideas or questions. ]

suddenly.. - 1

[suchmiracles]

That's probably the best offer I've had all day

and also the strangest

E'dolha Tiasen | FFXIV OC

[beloveddaughter]

3. i've called you from the great beyond

1. It's a good thing I'm an archer, because I definitely want to pluck yew
2. If I sent you a picture of my ass, would you be the keeper of my moon?
3. Ever been eaten out by a pussy?

4. to defeat the necromancer i had to use love

Well, that's sort of... that's sort of putting it all right there out in the open where everyone can see it, isn't it. Unfortunately, she's not particularly in the mood right now, but this pink-haired catgirl with fairly modern clothing isn't going to let that deter her from complaining about her situation. She'll deal with it. How annoying could it really be?

Her ear twitches a couple times as the device goes off. "This is getting ridiculous," she grumbles. "I almost preferred the Vanguards." And she lifts her head and calls out to the nearest person, because she trusts people more than she does machines. "Excuse me! Have you actually been able to get this to stop?"

((i'm not playing Dolha as the Warrior of Light—please take a look at this post if you want to know more about her as a character!))

3: 1

[limiakentledge]

4/10 we both know yew is best for longbows so you dont pluck that shit its a long draw and way too slow for your horny ass

kurt wagner | marvel 616

[suchmiracles]

one - when you call my name

---

It's not the first time Kurt has ended up in a strange place with no explanations and little guidance. As he wanders out of the hospital, face lifted to look up at the cloudy sky, he's reflecting that at least there don't seem to be any dinosaurs, alien warriors, or Mojo's floating cameras trying to follow him around. In fact, everything seems.. worryingly peaceful?

Maybe you catch him just outside of the hospital, or maybe nearby. He'll find the closest place to perch, literally -- a broken-down wall, what might have been a bench -- and scroll through the device he's been given, his tail waving behind him, frowning at what he finds.

two - it's like a little prayer

---

Unknown to him, his device has been trying to act as matchmaker. Feel free to pick one of the following pick-up lines you might have been sent on his behalf:

1. How do you feel about rubbing yourself against something warm and furry?

2. People say I'm a cunning linguist. Maybe I can test my tongue on you?

3. All I want to do is to have you inside me. Right now.

4. I’m going to let you do anything you want to me.

three - I'm down on my knees

---

Whoops, here's Kurt's bingo card. There are all sorts of options. Some stand out squares include: orgasm control, denial; exhibitionism; spanking, paddling; public & multiple penetration. Once you get past the Elf's initial embarrassment, he'll be fairly willing to discuss what seems to be a situation he can't just teleport away from.. for once..

four - wildcard

---

[ OOC: feel free to throw a wildcard at me along the lines of the above! Kurt's up for M/M or M/F (or multiple combinations) for smut, 21+ for preference. I'm happy to plot and chat things out, just PM this account! ]

three - I'm down on my knees

[oversight]

Wagering that no one can claim to be happy about this turn of events, John Blake takes what he can in stride and shoves the rest to the back of his head to be grappled with later. Bracelet hanging heavily on his wrist, he can't help but fidget. By no means a technological genius (but far from a rube either,) he's reviewed all that he's been given access to, and while some of it is particularly startling in content, it's not necessarily anything that Blake would outright eschew given the right circumstances.

Call it uncomfortable, sure, but not impossible.

It's some time in the afternoon while wandering the shattered remains of the city that he finds himself within proximity of Kurt. He's not the only one around — others mingle as if in a dreamlike state — but Mr. Blue and Fuzzy is the first to catch Blake's eye, and there's something about him that keeps the former cop's attention. There are plenty of things to figure here, including how everything's meant to work, and while he's not particularly keen on being a prisoner to it, there's nothing in him that finds him afraid to take action, particularly if it means a better understanding of the situation they've all found themselves in.

Dark eyes lingering, he makes no effort to quell his interest, going so far as to tip his head in the direction of an alcove where they might maintain a modicum of privacy, even if it's not necessarily absent of the public eye.