TDM 001

[erkumods]

TDM 001: TFLU

( 1 ) After leaving the teleportation chamber, you are gently coaxed out of the hospital and encouraged to find a place to stay. Maybe you've had time to check out your A5 app. Maybe you're just settling in. It's cloudy, overcast, cold -- you'll want to seek out someplace warm. Also, your device is beeping. A lot. The tech on the island works, it just doesn't work right. You can't seem to send a message to the correct person. It's time for... Texts From Last Universe ( 2 ) What's this? Your bingo card has just been beamed to a stranger's inbox...?! ( sample A5 cards -- NSFW, may contain triggering content, please feel free to use/ignore as you see fit) ( 3 ) And now you're receiving messages from other users that they don't remember sending: Nice shirt. It would look better on my floor. 10/10 would ride it into the sunset. This user thinks you're attractive. u up? 🍆 ( 4 ) Once you figure out that the robots have been hacking your devices, it's no easy feat to track one down and demand they stop. "So The Augur wills!" they wail in a monotone. "So it is done!" Any attempt to actually contact The Augur and get back into the hospital will be met with beefy robot bodyguards, who suggest taking a gentler approach to fix your devices. If you know what they mean. Wink. (This is your overt kink prompt. Please label any threads accordingly.) Note: All prompts are optional. The theme for this TDM is "malfunctioning devices." They can be fixed by indulging in the squares on your cards. For the sake of the TDM, you can use one of the pre-generated examples or a wildcard from the kink list. This can be used as a free bingo square completion once you have been accepted into the game. Players are welcome to wildcard their own TDM prompts; we only ask that you try to stick to the theme. ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● N A V I G A T I O N

Comments

omg i'm crying

[cappelli]

[ ................... ]

you're

you're an idiot, aren't you?

[EGGPLANT INTENSIFIES]

[mcvillain]

It's only polite to return lost items.

I apologize if you can't appreciate good manners.

Or anything else, for that matter.

[cappelli]

[ how many times is he going to make him say this? ]

i already told you that i didn't send you any eggplants
the only one who seems to be intent on sending fruits to people is you
is this your twisted way of harassing people?

[mcvillain]

I believe I was harassed first.

But alright. Let's assume, for a moment, that you didn't send an inappropriate solicitation.

Who is the culprit?

Well, you likely don't know, and that's fine.

But you're going to help me find out.

[Congratulations on your upgrade, stranger. You are now the honorable Detective Nakahara Chūya, with Brigadier General McGillis Fareed on the case.]

[cappelli]

[ no. way. in. hell. ]

why would i do that?

frankly, it's none of my business

[mcvillain]

Because you're obviously receiving the same spam.

Wouldn't it make more sense to work together, and to deduce the source?

[cappelli]

i think we have bigger issues to worry about
but fine

our devices have most likely been compromised, so we just need to find someone who can help us trace the spam back to its original source

[mcvillain]

Agreed.

One of those roaming robots might have the answer, but they just keep repeating nonsense at me whenever I ask.

According to them, we're supposed to... hm...

"Come together" was their exact phrasing.

[cappelli]

[ .......... ]

what

no
absolutely not [ this is ludicrous. ]

[mcvillain]

Ah.

I am beginning to suspect that was not the traditional turn of phrase.

[Good going, McGillis. Maybe you should play the master detective.]

[cappelli]

can you explain what you meant by it then?

[mcvillain]

What I meant doesn't matter.

What they meant...

Fornication.

[Say it ain't so!]

[cappelli]

i'm not having sex with you

[ especially if it's just to get rid of some slightly inconvenient spam. ]

[mcvillain]

That was not my proposal.

Though it doesn't seem as though there's any other way.

We're not the only ones that have landed ourselves here, and they haven't had much luck either.

Quite unfortunate.

[cappelli]

there has to be someone good with tech around here

they would be able to find a workaround for this

[mcvillain]

That's a good thought, but it's obvious enough our captors would've thought of that too.

Which leaves us back at square one.

[cappelli]

we could also just ignore the spam

[ which he is perfectly fine doing ]

[mcvillain]

Do you want more eggplants?

That's how you get more eggplants.

[You sick son of a bitch.]

[cappelli]

i'm not nearly as sensitive to the contents of a message as you are

besides, i have only received an eggplant from you so far [ #unfazed ]

[mcvillain]

It's not a matter of sensitivity.

It's a matter of professionalism.

One's garden should be free of anything so unsightly and uncivilized.

[cappelli]

you really don't like eggplants, do you?

[mcvillain]

Well.

Yes and no.

[cappelli]

?

[ care to expand on that? ]

[mcvillain]

[Absolutely.]

I enjoy men.

And all their accouterments.

[cappelli]

oh

[...]

i'm fine with either