ercookies | TDM 007: ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED? (Sorry, No Refunds)

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TDM 007: ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED? (Sorry, No Refunds)

TDM 007: ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED?

00. Arrival

This time, you come out of the water, the Nameless Island's own inherent energy drawing people in. It's like being suspended between realities and abruptly pushed from behind through a rift in dimensions. It may make you sick, or that might be the motion of the ocean, lifting you to the surface and carrying you to shore.

Waterlogged and covered in sand, new arrivals will be greeted by robots who welcome them with towels and bracelet devices. The A5 card is already loaded up. Feel free to explore the Island, though there isn’t much to see. Most of the buildings are abandoned and in dire need of repair, and beyond the city lingers a thick fog that obscures much of the wilderness from view. Wander too far into this fog, and you will find yourself mysteriously looping back to where you began, your memories of what you were doing and how you got there erased.

With that in mind, it may be wise to stake your claim on a rundown apartment, a tent on the beach, or a bed in the “comfortable” new barracks. Your inventory will be found a day later, wrapped up haphazardly and delivered to each person's makeshift home.

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I. Entertainment District

Old and new arrivals alike have likely been enjoying(?) the Island’s one day of sunshine per week - and so have the robots! The energy they are able to harness from the sun has increased their productivity exponentially, and a colorful multi-level entertainment district has sprung up to surround a few of the city’s familiar locations. Here you will find the forge, the clothing shop, the Full Moon(ty) Theater, as well as a freshly upgraded Ticket to Ride: an all-purpose arcade where tickets won from skeeball and Whack-a-Woody can be exchanged for sexy, colorful prizes!

Admission is free, and the robots especially encourage islanders to check out the following arcade additions:

Lurid Laser Tag: Slip into a full-body laser tag suit and arm yourself with a robot-provided laser gun before you go into this spooky and maze-like laser tag arena, which has been designed in the fashion of an abandoned, post-apocalyptic city overrun with creeping, squirming, and sometimes grabbing plants (which may look and feel very familiar to the earliest residents of the Nameless Island). Avoid these obstacles and try to spot the enemy before they spot you! The laser guns issued by the ‘bots have three graduated settings, chosen by the shooter, to alert you when you are hit: 1. vibration, 2. sweet caress, and 3. deep massage. Any part of your laser tag suit may activate, depending on where you are hit.

Islanders may choose to play 1-on-1 with a friend, or can be randomly assigned to an opponent or team.

VR Rooms: Pull on a shiny new headset and enjoy an immersive virtual reality experience like none other available on the Island thus far! The technology is still somewhat limited, however, in that the rooms can only replicate settings and environments from the current users’ memories. Whether you’re looking to train your battle skills on your old stomping grounds or simply want to share the experience of your favorite hometown noodle shop with a friend, these new VR rooms will literally open up new worlds of entertainment to you. VR Rooms can be enjoyed alone or in pairs, and they are fully private.

GundamPods: A scaled-down version of the newly installed mobile suit simulation cockpits which can be accessed in the hangar at the outskirts of the city, these side-by-side pods allow users to recreate the experience of piloting any mobile suit that has been brought onto the island, in PVP format. Scant and form-fitting clothing is recommended for the most seamlessly realistic piloting experience, as this allows the technology to interface with your sensory system. Wear a bikini and you’ll feel it right down to the G’s!

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II. Sexscape Room

Looking for the latest opportunity to earn credits? Look no further! The robots are researching the problem-solving capabilities of organic lifeforms, and they are seeking the Islanders’ help. The offered reward is very generous, and the ‘bots say the time commitment is no more than two hours. No manual labor required! Participants will only be given a puzzle to solve within that time limit.

Those who agree will be led to a spacious, if dark, room... but not alone. When the lights turn on, two volunteers find themselves trapped together in an escape room! Written clues lead participants through a series of steps to find the trick that will unlock the doors that hold them captive. However, what kind of room they find themselves in is entirely luck of the draw. Some rooms are perfectly normal, with almost absurdly easy puzzles to solve - a tip of a bookcase or a key hidden beneath a pillow might just be the ticket out. Others may be outrageously difficult, with clues taking the form of cryptic riddles and assigned tasks requiring partnership and teamwork to complete.

What kind of tasks, you may ask? Well, for some rooms it’s fairly obvious what volunteers are expected to do in order to earn their escape. That riding crop says it all, does it not? Those who fail to solve the escape room within two hours will be released without incident, the promised credits loaded to their devices. Islanders who successfully escape the room will be additionally rewarded with a goody bag of cute and colorful BDSM gear!

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III. Speed Dating at the Limp Noodle

So many renovations have occurred thanks to the efforts of those on the Island and the robots have decided a grand opening of the new Limp Noodle Shop!

This robot-run shop has three small tables and a long counter for serving customers. It caters to various noodle foods and soups from any world and their menu changes regularly, but Wednesday is All You Can Eat Ramen Day. Try the Special Spicy Fishcakes to get a free drink, but they might make your noodle anything but limp and you'll need some help to calm it down. Effects can last up to three hours.

But that’s not all. To promote the grand opening of the Limp Noodle the robots have added more seating and opened up the week for Swap Meet Speed Dating. That’s right, speed dating. Anyone who takes part in the 10 minute rounds of looking for your next Auspicious Act partner will receive all-you-can-eat snacks. Couples who hit it off will receive a free meal at a small two-seat table in a more secluded area.

Questions are provided on note cards with a fine print reminder: “Eye contact supports sexual intrigue, please maintain at all times.”

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N A V I G A T I O N

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[ Caleb grasps at Fjord's arms too, fingers curled just below his elbow. He's unwilling to give up contact entirely just yet. ]

It's all right, Fjord. [ He's quick to dismiss the apology with a shake of his head. The fact that he's here now is more than good enough. ] As you can see, I am fine.

[ He takes a half-step back so Fjord can take him in better. Look, no injuries! No need to linger on the topic of his well-being. In fact, he's going to immediately switch over to a topic he finds more interesting. ]

You have been here longer than a day, I take it?

[ Patting him on a shoulder in relief to see Caleb's alright, he looks up and hesitates to answer. ]

A month, actually. And ...

[ Fjord's smile returns, the relief twisted up as he huffs a tired laugh. ]

And so is Molly. The Molly we knew. He's here.

[ The line of questioning he'd been about to embark on is brought to a quick and startling halt. Caleb stares for a moment, taking in Fjord's smile in conjunction with his words. ]

How is that--

[ --possible, he'd been about to say, but comes up short. That is for him to figure out. His brow furrows, lips drawing into a thin frown in direct contrast to Fjord's expression. ]

You're certain it's him?

[ It's not that he thinks Fjord is incapable of telling the difference, or easily deceived, but this is baffling. ]

It's something to do with time. The way people explained it was that from their experience, with their own friends, there were ahead or behind of each other when they were pulled here.

[ Dunamancy shit, he's been assuming. Thank fuck Caleb is here to overthink it, the relief is so real. ]

It's definitely Molly. The last thing he remembers from home is getting ready to chase the Iron Shepherds. [ Fjord looks guiltily askance, letting go of Caleb to rub the back of his own neck. ] I told him about what happened, after. That he came back too.

He's been getting wasted at the island parties a lot. I follow him around, make sure he doesn't get himself hurt.

[ Oh, Caleb is immediately overthinking this. Don't you worry, pal. ]

That...does sound like Mollymauk.

[ Especially if Fjord's told him that he died and returned as the person he was previously. The person he wanted so badly to forget. ]

So from his perspective, he has not yet been killed.

[ This isn't to say that Caleb believes all of this entirely, especially not without seeing the evidence for himself, but it at least sounds plausible. But it has been so long, and any magic that could alter time that way must be incredibly powerful, and--

All right. He'll have to look into this. Find out absolutely everything he can. ]

It is only the two of you here?

He won't say it but I can tell that he's freaking out about turning into Lucien.

[ There's not much more Fjord can do to help keep Molly from going off the rails, terrified as the tiefling is of losing his entire sense of self. It will be a long time before Fjord can forgive himself for blurting out the truth during their argument. ]

It's just the two of us, yes. We've found a house to stay in, grab your stuff and I'll take you back so you know the way from the beach.

[ Caleb nods, finds himself understanding that fear intimately. The prospect of becoming someone that you don't recognize is terrifying. ]

We should be able to prevent that from happening here, at least, by keeping him safe.

[ Provided, of course, that Molly wasn't eventually going to revert to Lucien anyway, or that this isn't somehow Lucien playing them. Both register in Caleb's mind as a distinct possibilities. Could Lucien not have retained Molly's memories and used them to project the image he wanted? But if so, then to what end? And no ruse like that could be perfect, surely, and Fjord has been living with him and keeping a close eye on him for a month now. He would have noticed anything unusual.

Caleb goes to the entrance of the tent he'd slept in last night, gathering what few belongings he's been allotted; fewer even than the number of things he normally own, which isn't many. In moments he has his boots on and is ready to go. Both coat and scarf are draped over one arm, much too hot to be worn. Cracking a small smile, he nods. ]

Lead on, captain.

[ Things aren't yet so dire that he can't tease Fjord. ]

[ He watches the ocean for a while as Caleb gets ready, then claps a hand on his shoulder as they start up the beach. Captain. ]

It really is good to have you here. Not to be short, but it's been a shitshow; I arrived without any of my powers or my sword. It was just like the time I threw away the Falchion, I've had nothing. I've only just got the Star Razor back.

[ Well, that's nothing short of disturbing. Caleb keeps pace with with his friend, walking close beside him. ]

Scheisse, Fjord.

[ Even without his spellbook, he's been able to cast a few smaller spells, easy ones he knows by heart. At the very least, he'd known he had something. ]

I don't know if I will be much better off. I haven't yet tried casting any of my higher level spells.

[ Scheisse sums it up nicely. His fear of having angered the Wildmother was too keen, for a while, until he realised the Augur were to blame. He needs to ask for either his healing or a spell back next time he goes before them but he can't afford to be selfish and choose Commune, no matter how much he wants to. ]

I hope you've got something strong. Molly has all his abilities and all his weapons. [ A significant look is slid sidelong at Caleb. ] Some people say they arrived with a lot of stuff but he's the only one who's come here untouched by the Augur, to the best of my knowledge. I don't know whether the Eyes of Nine have something to do with it, although it feels like a safe bet.

Ja. That is concerning. [ Have a significant look in return, Fjord. ] I'll take stock of my components today and see what I am able to cast tomorrow.

[ He grimaces. Getting into a fight only to have a spell fail on him would be pretty much the worst. ]

But you were able to have the Star Razor returned to you. Perhaps I can do the same if I am missing something significant. Is the, ah...currency for that exchange really what was indicated to me on arrival?

[ He taps the bracelet on his wrist. ]

Ahhhh, yes? Yes. It's ...

[ Just gonna. Nod. Yes, he has been. Doing some stuff on that bracelet to get his sword back, he is busted.

Moving on!! ]

I've had three offers from people who were willing to ask for something on my behalf instead of for themselves though, I could introduce you to them if you liked.

[ Fjord just couldn't stand the thought of getting a spell back thanks to someone else's dick, that was a little too weird. But Caleb is more practical than he is, so who knows. ]

[ All right then. Definitely not pressing Fjord any further on there. This is far from ideal. But practicality is what causes Caleb to shake his head, refusing Fjord's offer. ]

I would rather not put myself in a stranger's debt. Whatever may be needed I can do myself.

[ Very matter-of-fact, despite the subject being quite personal. Hello, old scourger training, it's been a while. ]

Well, [ he's going to do this right this time, unlike when he upset Molly and offended the shit out of him, ] you know ...

[ Wow, his face feels hot. Best to keep an eye on the path ahead as he gestures to Caleb, super casual. ]

Listen, okay. My list of requests I was given is kind of crazy, but if there's something ... small-ish on yours, I'll ... help out.

[ This is the third time he's patted Caleb on the shoulder and the most brief, but!! Fjord got the offer out there. ]

We can't just walk around defenceless, this island is rigged to be a pain.

[ Super casual. Caleb's stomach does a sort of strange swoop as he looks up at Fjord like he's just been stunned. But shocked is better than upset, right?

Okay. Okay, okay. ]

That is...generous of you, Fjord. [ It genuinely is, and Caleb wants to convey that, though he definitely can't maintain eye contact, and can feel his face getting red as Fjord pats his shoulder again. Damn his complexion. ] I'll be sure to say something if your assistance is required. And, ah--that offer goes...both ways.

[ Oh no. He had not expected to be having this conversation, and it shows. Time to veer hard into a different subject! ]

What is there to be wary of here?

Oh, don't, uh. Don't worry about my card. It's fucked up.

[ There's stuff on there he doesn't even want to think about, let alone plan to attempt.

He takes to the new subject matter eagerly, not even slightly ready to unpack getting the same offer back from Caleb. It's slightly hysterical, the situation they find themselves in. ]

The food! Mostly. Ask around before you eat anything that's free, it's usually enchanted to turn you on or change your body somehow. Molly was a woman for a few hours, that was ... not as weird as it could have been, in retrospect.

[ Molly is a little amorphous anyway when it comes to gender. ]

The plants are dangerous, don't go for a walk in the forest without protection. Apparently there might be sea monsters too, I haven't looked too deeply into that claim yet.

[ Because why would he want to, hahaha. No thank you, sir. ]

[ Caleb nods along as Fjord explains, making mental note of things to avoid. It's already a long list. Though imagining what Molly might look like as a woman doesn't change him very much in Caleb's estimation, he would very much like to avoid that for himself.

The mention of sea monsters has his brows hiking up, but he doesn't comment beyond observing, ] Washing up on the beach must have been unsettling for you.

[ Like really bad deja vu, maybe. ]

Who, me? No. No, it's great. Loved it. Thought for a hot second Avantika was back and drowning the shit out of me, but it's fine. I'm fine.

[ He's lowkey stressed all the time and can't tell Molly because Molly is even more stressed so Fjord is just. Swallowing his anxiety. It's a really healthy way to live.

A good segue to mention, though, ]

I still have the Cloven crystal, it was in the Bag of Holding when I found it on the beach. Bunch of other stuff is gone.

[ This look says sure, Fjord.

But it's fine. Caleb will turn into an orca any time you need him to, bro. As long as he can still Polymorph, at least. ]

Good to know. That is probably the safest place for it to be right now.

[ Since his vault of amber hadn't been enough to hide it, apparently. But now that he's thinking of it, something else occurs to him. ]

Do you still have the necklace I gave you?

Yes! [ Pointing! And wagging a finger because yes! One good thing in all of this. ] I do.

I wasn't sure whether to let Molly wear it or not, in case ... fucking Cree swims onto the shore or something. I didn't think anyone else would in a hurry because this is all so weird but now you're here too, maybe it's a good idea?

[ Caleb has to wonder, not for the first time today, how the Augur selects what they're allowed to keep versus what they have to earn. The amulet is a powerful magical item, and Fjord had been allowed to hold onto it. It's to their benefit, but still. ]

I think there is merit in shielding him from prying eyes. [ Anyone who might want to find Lucien rather than Molly isn't someone Caleb wants looking in on them. ] Neither of us can scry, so it wouldn't hinder us in finding him, should we need to.

I agree. It may pose a problem, putting it to him ... Any dancing around the subject of Lucien makes him freeze up, he absolutely hates it.

[ Not for the first time, he's immensely glad Caleb is here to talk about these things with. It's as if some of the responsibility is lightening from Fjord's shoulders. Not because he doesn't want it, but because he knows Caleb cares too. ]

He has nightmares. We shared dreams about a week ago, don't ask me how because fuck if I know. He saw me dying and I saw him ... crushing us in Lucien's palm as Molly drowned in ... blood.

[ Gods, he's been so stressed with this shit!! ]

Perhaps we could explain our reasoning together.

[ It's his turn to touch Fjord's arm now, a reassuring pat pat against his bicep. ]

Or that could prove too overwhelming. It must be painful for him, I am sure. But protecting him in this way will help all of us.

[ Damn. Those are some serious stress dreams. Frowning, Caleb thinks for a long moment before speaking. ]

I have read about a spell that allows the caster to shape the target's dreams to their specifications. Was this a wide-spread event, or did it effect only the two of you?

It happened to a few people.

[ He appreciates the touch to his arm, it's nice to have someone else on the island that he can trust not to be constantly in a state of heat or flirting. ]

Do you think the rest of our group will show up here? I wouldn't wish any of this on them, it just ... feels better with you around. [ Their little family always works best together, they are provenly far safer that way. ] This place reminds me a bit of Vokodo's island.

[ A larger area of effect. Not the magic he was thinking of, then. Whatever is going on here, the ones behind it are more powerful than any caster he's ever known--or it's something else entirely. One sounds as bad as the other when there are so many unknowns. ]

I can see why. That island was fucky, too. [ There's a hint of a smirk. ] Though not so literally.

[ Beyond teasing, it is easy to see similarities. The picturesque beach and lush jungle hiding something strange and sinister. Caleb has only been here for a day, and seeing Fjord had lifted a massive weight from his shoulders. He can only imagine how Fjord must feel after a month. ]

You are here, and so is Mollymauk, and so am I. I think that is good enough evidence that those involved with the Nein are being drawn in. We may see more of our friends in the coming months. [ It's easy to reason as much out loud, but the reality of it makes him feel torn. He sighs, rubbing idly at one forearm as he talks. ] We have been able to survive everything we've faced because we were together. I would not want any of them to have to deal with this, but being split up makes me nervous.

00. Arrival

I. Entertainment District

II. Sexscape Room

III. Speed Dating at the Limp Noodle

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