TDM 007: ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED? (Sorry, No Refunds)

[erkumods]

TDM 007: ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED?

00. Arrival This time, you come out of the water, the Nameless Island's own inherent energy drawing people in. It's like being suspended between realities and abruptly pushed from behind through a rift in dimensions. It may make you sick, or that might be the motion of the ocean, lifting you to the surface and carrying you to shore. Waterlogged and covered in sand, new arrivals will be greeted by robots who welcome them with towels and bracelet devices. The A5 card is already loaded up. Feel free to explore the Island, though there isn’t much to see. Most of the buildings are abandoned and in dire need of repair, and beyond the city lingers a thick fog that obscures much of the wilderness from view. Wander too far into this fog, and you will find yourself mysteriously looping back to where you began, your memories of what you were doing and how you got there erased. With that in mind, it may be wise to stake your claim on a rundown apartment, a tent on the beach, or a bed in the “comfortable” new barracks. Your inventory will be found a day later, wrapped up haphazardly and delivered to each person's makeshift home. ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● I. Entertainment District Old and new arrivals alike have likely been enjoying(?) the Island’s one day of sunshine per week - and so have the robots! The energy they are able to harness from the sun has increased their productivity exponentially, and a colorful multi-level entertainment district has sprung up to surround a few of the city’s familiar locations. Here you will find the forge, the clothing shop, the Full Moon(ty) Theater, as well as a freshly upgraded Ticket to Ride: an all-purpose arcade where tickets won from skeeball and Whack-a-Woody can be exchanged for sexy, colorful prizes! Admission is free, and the robots especially encourage islanders to check out the following arcade additions: Lurid Laser Tag: Slip into a full-body laser tag suit and arm yourself with a robot-provided laser gun before you go into this spooky and maze-like laser tag arena, which has been designed in the fashion of an abandoned, post-apocalyptic city overrun with creeping, squirming, and sometimes grabbing plants (which may look and feel very familiar to the earliest residents of the Nameless Island). Avoid these obstacles and try to spot the enemy before they spot you! The laser guns issued by the ‘bots have three graduated settings, chosen by the shooter, to alert you when you are hit: 1. vibration, 2. sweet caress, and 3. deep massage. Any part of your laser tag suit may activate, depending on where you are hit. Islanders may choose to play 1-on-1 with a friend, or can be randomly assigned to an opponent or team. VR Rooms: Pull on a shiny new headset and enjoy an immersive virtual reality experience like none other available on the Island thus far! The technology is still somewhat limited, however, in that the rooms can only replicate settings and environments from the current users’ memories. Whether you’re looking to train your battle skills on your old stomping grounds or simply want to share the experience of your favorite hometown noodle shop with a friend, these new VR rooms will literally open up new worlds of entertainment to you. VR Rooms can be enjoyed alone or in pairs, and they are fully private. GundamPods: A scaled-down version of the newly installed mobile suit simulation cockpits which can be accessed in the hangar at the outskirts of the city, these side-by-side pods allow users to recreate the experience of piloting any mobile suit that has been brought onto the island, in PVP format. Scant and form-fitting clothing is recommended for the most seamlessly realistic piloting experience, as this allows the technology to interface with your sensory system. Wear a bikini and you’ll feel it right down to the G’s! ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● II. Sexscape Room Looking for the latest opportunity to earn credits? Look no further! The robots are researching the problem-solving capabilities of organic lifeforms, and they are seeking the Islanders’ help. The offered reward is very generous, and the ‘bots say the time commitment is no more than two hours. No manual labor required! Participants will only be given a puzzle to solve within that time limit. Those who agree will be led to a spacious, if dark, room... but not alone. When the lights turn on, two volunteers find themselves trapped together in an escape room! Written clues lead participants through a series of steps to find the trick that will unlock the doors that hold them captive. However, what kind of room they find themselves in is entirely luck of the draw. Some rooms are perfectly normal, with almost absurdly easy puzzles to solve - a tip of a bookcase or a key hidden beneath a pillow might just be the ticket out. Others may be outrageously difficult, with clues taking the form of cryptic riddles and assigned tasks requiring partnership and teamwork to complete. What kind of tasks, you may ask? Well, for some rooms it’s fairly obvious what volunteers are expected to do in order to earn their escape. That riding crop says it all, does it not? Those who fail to solve the escape room within two hours will be released without incident, the promised credits loaded to their devices. Islanders who successfully escape the room will be additionally rewarded with a goody bag of cute and colorful BDSM gear! ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● III. Speed Dating at the Limp Noodle So many renovations have occurred thanks to the efforts of those on the Island and the robots have decided a grand opening of the new Limp Noodle Shop! This robot-run shop has three small tables and a long counter for serving customers. It caters to various noodle foods and soups from any world and their menu changes regularly, but Wednesday is All You Can Eat Ramen Day. Try the Special Spicy Fishcakes to get a free drink, but they might make your noodle anything but limp and you'll need some help to calm it down. Effects can last up to three hours. But that’s not all. To promote the grand opening of the Limp Noodle the robots have added more seating and opened up the week for Swap Meet Speed Dating. That’s right, speed dating. Anyone who takes part in the 10 minute rounds of looking for your next Auspicious Act partner will receive all-you-can-eat snacks. Couples who hit it off will receive a free meal at a small two-seat table in a more secluded area. Questions are provided on note cards with a fine print reminder: “Eye contact supports sexual intrigue, please maintain at all times.” ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● N A V I G A T I O N

Comments

[devilstongue]

Alright, alright. I'll just keep my dalliances to myself next time!

[ He says it like it's a damn threat and not exactly what should have happened in the first place. ]

She's just... very. You know.

[ Fucking wonderful in every way?

Molly eyes Caleb when the human speaks and then chuckles a bit. They're having what sounds like a stupid marital spat in front of their poor wizard. ]

Go take that bath, there's soap and clean towel. No fancy things yet, so I'll probably ask for some grooming stuff eventually.

[ He might have shitty beard abilities and the fine claws to pick away his 'teenage fluff' if he gets it, but the beard boys might need a scissor for something. ]

[halforc]

[ I'd rather know, he almost says, but his mouth is a flat line and he feels like he has steam to blow off. Now isn't the time. Instead of picking a fight, he heads downstairs to leave Molly chattering to Caleb through the door.

Never will the plates be washed so well. ]

[blumenthal]

[ Caleb exhales slowly, not quite a sigh, but near enough. A lot can happen among the Nein in a month's time, but this is something that's definitely a Fjord and Molly thing. He hopes, anyway. This isn't the kind of group discussion he wants to be asked to weigh in on. ]

Soap and a towel will be just fine for me. Thank you.

[ Nothing fancy required. He gives Molly a parting half-smile before he closes the door. Time to sit in hot water and process all this stress by himself for a bit! ]

[devilstongue]

[ Molly, having used Frumpkin like a dramatic feather boa this entire 'fight', now gently scritches the cat under his chin. ]

Your Caleb has gotten pretty amazing, hasn't he? I mean, he was always great, but he's looking even better.

[ So very different from the man he knew. Just like Fjord. It almost felt like he was meeting them all over again. He wishes he could have been there, but at least he got to see this growth now. Even if it was in Fucksville. ]

Should we go tell Fjord that the chipped bowls are goin to break if he keeps that up?

[ Molly uses his chin pets to 'nod' the cat. ]

Okay, sounds good.

[halforc]

[ A cracking of ceramic is followed by a curse that rings through the house, the kitchen one plate down. He shoves it in the bin and starts drying the rest, putting them away less carefully than he could, mind elsewhere. ]