TDM 007: ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED? (Sorry, No Refunds)

[erkumods]

TDM 007: ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED?

00. Arrival This time, you come out of the water, the Nameless Island's own inherent energy drawing people in. It's like being suspended between realities and abruptly pushed from behind through a rift in dimensions. It may make you sick, or that might be the motion of the ocean, lifting you to the surface and carrying you to shore. Waterlogged and covered in sand, new arrivals will be greeted by robots who welcome them with towels and bracelet devices. The A5 card is already loaded up. Feel free to explore the Island, though there isn’t much to see. Most of the buildings are abandoned and in dire need of repair, and beyond the city lingers a thick fog that obscures much of the wilderness from view. Wander too far into this fog, and you will find yourself mysteriously looping back to where you began, your memories of what you were doing and how you got there erased. With that in mind, it may be wise to stake your claim on a rundown apartment, a tent on the beach, or a bed in the “comfortable” new barracks. Your inventory will be found a day later, wrapped up haphazardly and delivered to each person's makeshift home. ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● I. Entertainment District Old and new arrivals alike have likely been enjoying(?) the Island’s one day of sunshine per week - and so have the robots! The energy they are able to harness from the sun has increased their productivity exponentially, and a colorful multi-level entertainment district has sprung up to surround a few of the city’s familiar locations. Here you will find the forge, the clothing shop, the Full Moon(ty) Theater, as well as a freshly upgraded Ticket to Ride: an all-purpose arcade where tickets won from skeeball and Whack-a-Woody can be exchanged for sexy, colorful prizes! Admission is free, and the robots especially encourage islanders to check out the following arcade additions: Lurid Laser Tag: Slip into a full-body laser tag suit and arm yourself with a robot-provided laser gun before you go into this spooky and maze-like laser tag arena, which has been designed in the fashion of an abandoned, post-apocalyptic city overrun with creeping, squirming, and sometimes grabbing plants (which may look and feel very familiar to the earliest residents of the Nameless Island). Avoid these obstacles and try to spot the enemy before they spot you! The laser guns issued by the ‘bots have three graduated settings, chosen by the shooter, to alert you when you are hit: 1. vibration, 2. sweet caress, and 3. deep massage. Any part of your laser tag suit may activate, depending on where you are hit. Islanders may choose to play 1-on-1 with a friend, or can be randomly assigned to an opponent or team. VR Rooms: Pull on a shiny new headset and enjoy an immersive virtual reality experience like none other available on the Island thus far! The technology is still somewhat limited, however, in that the rooms can only replicate settings and environments from the current users’ memories. Whether you’re looking to train your battle skills on your old stomping grounds or simply want to share the experience of your favorite hometown noodle shop with a friend, these new VR rooms will literally open up new worlds of entertainment to you. VR Rooms can be enjoyed alone or in pairs, and they are fully private. GundamPods: A scaled-down version of the newly installed mobile suit simulation cockpits which can be accessed in the hangar at the outskirts of the city, these side-by-side pods allow users to recreate the experience of piloting any mobile suit that has been brought onto the island, in PVP format. Scant and form-fitting clothing is recommended for the most seamlessly realistic piloting experience, as this allows the technology to interface with your sensory system. Wear a bikini and you’ll feel it right down to the G’s! ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● II. Sexscape Room Looking for the latest opportunity to earn credits? Look no further! The robots are researching the problem-solving capabilities of organic lifeforms, and they are seeking the Islanders’ help. The offered reward is very generous, and the ‘bots say the time commitment is no more than two hours. No manual labor required! Participants will only be given a puzzle to solve within that time limit. Those who agree will be led to a spacious, if dark, room... but not alone. When the lights turn on, two volunteers find themselves trapped together in an escape room! Written clues lead participants through a series of steps to find the trick that will unlock the doors that hold them captive. However, what kind of room they find themselves in is entirely luck of the draw. Some rooms are perfectly normal, with almost absurdly easy puzzles to solve - a tip of a bookcase or a key hidden beneath a pillow might just be the ticket out. Others may be outrageously difficult, with clues taking the form of cryptic riddles and assigned tasks requiring partnership and teamwork to complete. What kind of tasks, you may ask? Well, for some rooms it’s fairly obvious what volunteers are expected to do in order to earn their escape. That riding crop says it all, does it not? Those who fail to solve the escape room within two hours will be released without incident, the promised credits loaded to their devices. Islanders who successfully escape the room will be additionally rewarded with a goody bag of cute and colorful BDSM gear! ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● III. Speed Dating at the Limp Noodle So many renovations have occurred thanks to the efforts of those on the Island and the robots have decided a grand opening of the new Limp Noodle Shop! This robot-run shop has three small tables and a long counter for serving customers. It caters to various noodle foods and soups from any world and their menu changes regularly, but Wednesday is All You Can Eat Ramen Day. Try the Special Spicy Fishcakes to get a free drink, but they might make your noodle anything but limp and you'll need some help to calm it down. Effects can last up to three hours. But that’s not all. To promote the grand opening of the Limp Noodle the robots have added more seating and opened up the week for Swap Meet Speed Dating. That’s right, speed dating. Anyone who takes part in the 10 minute rounds of looking for your next Auspicious Act partner will receive all-you-can-eat snacks. Couples who hit it off will receive a free meal at a small two-seat table in a more secluded area. Questions are provided on note cards with a fine print reminder: “Eye contact supports sexual intrigue, please maintain at all times.” ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● N A V I G A T I O N

Comments

[devilstongue]

Doesn't have to be bacon, just don't eat anything the automatons give you. It's only made to make people fuck.

[ Molly says as he pops another grape in his mouth and watches Caleb line up all his things. ]

I don't have the fancy wizard ink and incense, only the carnie kind, but I do have some thread if any type works.

[halforc]

[ He may kick Molly a little harder for a second time for specifying! what the bacon did!! Yell it from the rooftops, bro.

Clearing his throat as he watches Caleb unload his components and count the missing ones, ]

There's a ... I don't know if there's anything like it back home. The devices the automatons gave us link up and allow people to talk on the screen, it's like casting a reverse scry on yourself inviting them to see you. Or like Sending, with just a voice.

If the network isn't useful then I know some decent guys, I can ask around for things you need.

[blumenthal]

[ It's not like he didn't already know, Fjord. ]

Your incense may work, Mollymauk, [ Caleb considers, staring at the line of spell components on the table in front of him, much reduced from what he is used to.

Sitting back in his chair, he picks up his hot chocolate for a long, slow sip as he considers his options. ]

That isn't like any device back home that I know of, magical or otherwise. But it sounds very useful? [ And intriguing. He's definitely going to spend some time looking at that later. ] I am willing to do some bartering to get the things I need, if any of your acquaintances can help.

[devilstongue]

Good. Then whatever of it I have left is yours.

[ He gives Fjord an amused look, but Molly thinks it's important to know exactly what stuff will do here. If so only so they do not repeat the mistakes Fjordthey did.

Eating his food, he automatically drops a small piece on the floor before he realizes the fluffy cat isn't there. ]

Where's Frumpkin?

[ Molly asks, a little concerned. Did Caleb arrive without his 'cat', or does he not use it any more now that he's a fancy wizard? ]

[halforc]

I'll introduce you.

[ He only the notices Frumpkin isn't around. ]

Oh, shit. Did he disappear in the ocean?

[blumenthal]

No, no. He is--

[ With a snap of Caleb's fingers, Frumpkin materializes on his lap. A smile flickers over his lips as he scratches him briefly on the head before Frumpkin jumps to the floor and scarfs down the morsel Molly dropped for him. ]

That is one spell I tried out immediately.

[ He'll need another component before he's able to change his form, but at least he has his cat.

A silent command has Frumpkin leaping up onto Molly's lap and curling up, beginning to purr softly. ]

He missed you.

i love not sending replies and thinking i did

[devilstongue]

[ Molly's smiles as soon as the cat appears with Caleb, and it feels a little bit like the world is okay again. Knowing that some things stayed the same.

He's delighted when the fey cat jumps up into his lap, and even though he knows Caleb is in control of the little familiar it still feels like being chosen. Molly returns the purring to Frumpkin, hoping he's toasty on tiefling fever-warm body.

(The familiar was immortal and thus a lot less painless to get attached to than a 6 hp bird child.)

Stroking the cat's head gently, he glances back up at Caleb. ]

Well, I'm glad he's here, too. Four out of almost nein.

[halforc]

[ Fjord picks out some goose and leans forward to wiggle it in front of Frumpkin, dropping it on the table near the fey familliar. He always feels itchy in his nose despite the lack of a real cat, it's best not to tempt his sinuses.

Good to see the furball, though. That means Caleb is still holding down the fort on spells. ]

What do you want to do first, Caleb, take a walk through the city or set up somewhere to sleep upstairs? Your call, you've been stranded on a beach for a full day and night. City's not going anywhere.

[blumenthal]

[ As Caleb repacks his components, Frumpkin gets up on his back legs for just long enough to snatch the bit of goose from the table before settling down again. ]

I am very curious to see more of the city, if either of you would like to be my guide. [ The pouch goes back on and Caleb plucks and eats several grapes before he adds, ] I don't mind so much where I sleep.

[ He makes to start pulling his hair back, but pauses when he finds it still stiff with sea salt. Right, there is that. ]

Though maybe I could have a bath, first.

[devilstongue]

Oh, you need to try out the bath tub here! It's amazing!

[ It didn't matter if it had luke-warm water at best, it seemed to do the job pretty well. Not everyone is fire proof, Tealeaf. ]

So are all the things in this place. The light things that turn on when you press buttons on the walls! The cold-cupboard!

[ Technology, man.

He scritches Frumpkin under the chin. ]

For being a dilapidated city, it has some amazing things that makes Hupperdook fade in comparison.

[halforc]

Shit, yes. Let's have a palace tour.

[ Clapping his hands as he gets up, he slaps on one of the light-switches and opens up the fridge, displaying the gadgets in the kitchen like a very proud salesman. ]

And I think that's the stove over there, but I can't find anywhere to put coals or wood.

[blumenthal]

Sure, ja, show me everything.

[ The bath tub, the lights, the cold cupboard--he wants to see it all! He crams a little more goose into his mouth before he gets up to follow Fjord. Frumpkin, meanwhile, jumps up onto Molly's shoulders so that the tiefling can get to his feet as well.

Standing next to Fjord by the open door of the fridge is noticeably chilly, and Caleb leans in to have a better look at the inside, casting Detect Magic with a murmur and a gesture. The spell works--another one he can check off--but nothing jumps out. ]

It isn't magical, [ he notes aloud. ] Your comparison with Hupperdook is probably apt, Mollymauk.

[devilstongue]

You think so? [ He laughs. ] Watch out, Caleb, soon I'm the smartest in the Nein!

[ Says the man that's proud about knowing nothing, amused as they explore the house.

As soon as they reach the bathroom, his tail starts making little happy figure-eights. Molly adores this room, okay? It doesn't matter that the water is lukewarm at times, it's just so wonderful ].

Isn't it neat? Instead of just a hole down like an outhouse, it washes it away with water! I think the other thing is a sink, but it's rather broken so you can't fill it.

[halforc]

[ Non-magical! Interesting, he'll have to ask around for some
blueprints later, it's quite fascinating having such advanced technology around. Would be nice to know how to fix it.

Fjord hangs back as Molly trots upstairs in the lead. He folds his arms with a smile, leaning on the hallway wall to watch the presentation. ]

After I get some spells back I'm going to ask the Augur about fixing this place up a bit. The third floor is fucked [ gesturing over a shoulder to where the ascending staircase had collapsed, ] and it would be nice to sleep somewhere without drafts.

[blumenthal]

[ Caleb follows Molly through the house, able to use Detect Magic for long enough to confirm that none of the strange and incredible appliances throughout the house appear to be magical or enchanted. Next to Molly, he leans a hip against the side of the sink that isn't broken off, contemplatively rubbing at the week-in-Eiselcross stubble growing over his chin.

Repairing the house would definitely be worthwhile, but it also raises more questions. ]

Very convenient that the Augur is capable of doing nearly anything we ask. And the only thing we are supposed to do in exchange is-- [ His brow furrows. ] --have sex? [ That seems way too simple. With a significant look for Fjord, he asks, ] Do you think this thing is a god? Or have we found ourselves in another Traveler situation?

[devilstongue]

I mean, it seems to have worked on Fjord, and that's what everyone else says.

[ Molly shrugs, really not sure what that means but happy to take it at face value for now. He's not happy about the coercion level of it all, but it is sex island and he is Molly. ]

I haven't turned any in yet, I'm holding off until I know if something's really needed around the island and maybe combine them somehow. See what the limits are, and figure out if it's a god.

[ Pause. ]

...wait, Traveler situation?

[halforc]

I spent the night with Aphrodite and they gave me my sword when I asked, it seems straight-forward enough. Grim, but ... manageable? I wish that didn't sound so bad.

[ He sounds like a cheap ho. Oh, well.

To Caleb he nods, interrupted by Molly's curiosity to which he adds a quick explanation. ]

Jester's patron, the Traveller, is a dick called Artagan. [ And to Caleb, ] They seem quite serious about rebuilding this island, if nothing else. They say we expend eros energy when we ... well, that's what fortifies the land. Or something.

[blumenthal]

No, that sounds correct to me, Fjord. [ Grim, but manageable. Perhaps not so much for Mollymauk, of course, especially if he retains all of his abilities, but Caleb is less than enthused.

To give Molly more context re: Artagan, he adds, ] And not a god at all, but an archfey.

[ That's a story they'll have to sit down and tell him later. Caleb has a distinct feeling that Molly will find it more amusing than anything, and in retrospect it sort of is? It had ended well, at least. Jester is fine, they're all fine, and somehow Rumblecusp was left better than it was before. ]

So it is this energy they are after. [ So this whole place (pocket dimension? so many possibilities) is basically a sex energy farm! Sounds wild, but why not? ] I've heard there is a library in the city. Perhaps I can do some research.

[devilstongue]

[ The Traveler not being a god but something is interesting and so are all these plans, but it all falls apart a bit when Fjord mentions Aphrodite. Molly laughs, unable to hold it back, and it takes him a moment to compose himself so he can actually continue participating in the conversation. ]

Library. Yep.

[ He gives Fjord a slap on his ass with his tail. Lightly. ]

[halforc]

[ He jumps a little on the spot when that thwack comes, immediately diverted from the topic of the library. ]

Ouch! What was that for? [ Narrowing his eyes! ] What's so funny?

[ Rubbing that poor sore cheek!! He is wounded forever. ]

[blumenthal]

[ It takes a lot to distract Caleb from the prospect of visiting a library, but hey, Fjord's reaction to a sudden slap across the ass will do it. ]

Yes, Mollymauk, please share.

[ Looking slowly between the two of them, he mentally goes back over the conversation to try to determine what had distracted Molly so throughly. He'd laughed at Fjord's comment about Aphrodite, but Caleb is definitely still missing something crucial. At least it seems like Fjord is too. ]

[devilstongue]

[ Molly waggles his brows a bit at Fjord. ]

Aphrodite is lovely, isn't she? Just excellent.

[ He gives Caleb a wink as well, striding out of the bathroom with panache before turning to grin at his half-orc friend again. Just hoes being bros right here. ]

She's obviously got good taste, too.

[halforc]

[ His eyes widen as realisation hits and his first instinct is to throttle that tiefling. ]

You son of a bitch, you slept with her too?!

[ Caleb, let him around you so he can kill Molly all over again!! ]

[blumenthal]

[ Okay, okay, he is taking a shuffling step back now. Don't catch him in the middle of this!! ]

Is that a big deal?

[ Not so much a plea for reason as a genuine expression of confusion. ]

[devilstongue]

[ Molly's equally confused, giving Fjord a look and nimbly trying to avoid getting his ass kicked. ]

I didn't know we needed a system for that! What does it matter, she's lovely and she can fuck whoever she wants!

[ Honestly! ]

If we need to make sure we're not doing the same people then you're eventually going to have a really tiny pool of people to do this eros energy shit with.

[ You know he's a hoe, Molly had sex with three people at the damn party and that was one single evening. ]