ercookies | TDM 007: ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED? (Sorry, No Refunds)

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TDM 007: ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED? (Sorry, No Refunds)

TDM 007: ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED?

00. Arrival

This time, you come out of the water, the Nameless Island's own inherent energy drawing people in. It's like being suspended between realities and abruptly pushed from behind through a rift in dimensions. It may make you sick, or that might be the motion of the ocean, lifting you to the surface and carrying you to shore.

Waterlogged and covered in sand, new arrivals will be greeted by robots who welcome them with towels and bracelet devices. The A5 card is already loaded up. Feel free to explore the Island, though there isn’t much to see. Most of the buildings are abandoned and in dire need of repair, and beyond the city lingers a thick fog that obscures much of the wilderness from view. Wander too far into this fog, and you will find yourself mysteriously looping back to where you began, your memories of what you were doing and how you got there erased.

With that in mind, it may be wise to stake your claim on a rundown apartment, a tent on the beach, or a bed in the “comfortable” new barracks. Your inventory will be found a day later, wrapped up haphazardly and delivered to each person's makeshift home.

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I. Entertainment District

Old and new arrivals alike have likely been enjoying(?) the Island’s one day of sunshine per week - and so have the robots! The energy they are able to harness from the sun has increased their productivity exponentially, and a colorful multi-level entertainment district has sprung up to surround a few of the city’s familiar locations. Here you will find the forge, the clothing shop, the Full Moon(ty) Theater, as well as a freshly upgraded Ticket to Ride: an all-purpose arcade where tickets won from skeeball and Whack-a-Woody can be exchanged for sexy, colorful prizes!

Admission is free, and the robots especially encourage islanders to check out the following arcade additions:

Lurid Laser Tag: Slip into a full-body laser tag suit and arm yourself with a robot-provided laser gun before you go into this spooky and maze-like laser tag arena, which has been designed in the fashion of an abandoned, post-apocalyptic city overrun with creeping, squirming, and sometimes grabbing plants (which may look and feel very familiar to the earliest residents of the Nameless Island). Avoid these obstacles and try to spot the enemy before they spot you! The laser guns issued by the ‘bots have three graduated settings, chosen by the shooter, to alert you when you are hit: 1. vibration, 2. sweet caress, and 3. deep massage. Any part of your laser tag suit may activate, depending on where you are hit.

Islanders may choose to play 1-on-1 with a friend, or can be randomly assigned to an opponent or team.

VR Rooms: Pull on a shiny new headset and enjoy an immersive virtual reality experience like none other available on the Island thus far! The technology is still somewhat limited, however, in that the rooms can only replicate settings and environments from the current users’ memories. Whether you’re looking to train your battle skills on your old stomping grounds or simply want to share the experience of your favorite hometown noodle shop with a friend, these new VR rooms will literally open up new worlds of entertainment to you. VR Rooms can be enjoyed alone or in pairs, and they are fully private.

GundamPods: A scaled-down version of the newly installed mobile suit simulation cockpits which can be accessed in the hangar at the outskirts of the city, these side-by-side pods allow users to recreate the experience of piloting any mobile suit that has been brought onto the island, in PVP format. Scant and form-fitting clothing is recommended for the most seamlessly realistic piloting experience, as this allows the technology to interface with your sensory system. Wear a bikini and you’ll feel it right down to the G’s!

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II. Sexscape Room

Looking for the latest opportunity to earn credits? Look no further! The robots are researching the problem-solving capabilities of organic lifeforms, and they are seeking the Islanders’ help. The offered reward is very generous, and the ‘bots say the time commitment is no more than two hours. No manual labor required! Participants will only be given a puzzle to solve within that time limit.

Those who agree will be led to a spacious, if dark, room... but not alone. When the lights turn on, two volunteers find themselves trapped together in an escape room! Written clues lead participants through a series of steps to find the trick that will unlock the doors that hold them captive. However, what kind of room they find themselves in is entirely luck of the draw. Some rooms are perfectly normal, with almost absurdly easy puzzles to solve - a tip of a bookcase or a key hidden beneath a pillow might just be the ticket out. Others may be outrageously difficult, with clues taking the form of cryptic riddles and assigned tasks requiring partnership and teamwork to complete.

What kind of tasks, you may ask? Well, for some rooms it’s fairly obvious what volunteers are expected to do in order to earn their escape. That riding crop says it all, does it not? Those who fail to solve the escape room within two hours will be released without incident, the promised credits loaded to their devices. Islanders who successfully escape the room will be additionally rewarded with a goody bag of cute and colorful BDSM gear!

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III. Speed Dating at the Limp Noodle

So many renovations have occurred thanks to the efforts of those on the Island and the robots have decided a grand opening of the new Limp Noodle Shop!

This robot-run shop has three small tables and a long counter for serving customers. It caters to various noodle foods and soups from any world and their menu changes regularly, but Wednesday is All You Can Eat Ramen Day. Try the Special Spicy Fishcakes to get a free drink, but they might make your noodle anything but limp and you'll need some help to calm it down. Effects can last up to three hours.

But that’s not all. To promote the grand opening of the Limp Noodle the robots have added more seating and opened up the week for Swap Meet Speed Dating. That’s right, speed dating. Anyone who takes part in the 10 minute rounds of looking for your next Auspicious Act partner will receive all-you-can-eat snacks. Couples who hit it off will receive a free meal at a small two-seat table in a more secluded area.

Questions are provided on note cards with a fine print reminder: “Eye contact supports sexual intrigue, please maintain at all times.”

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N A V I G A T I O N

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[ After this long, he knows Fjord doesn't need to hear it out loud. But it does something for him to say it, and he's glad to have that accepted and reciprocated.

Also glad to have the moment pass quickly, though. It's nice to share these things with Fjord, but it's even better to know that bond is present without having to linger on it. ]

...cold-cupboard?

[ All right, he's intrigued. ]

It's a cupboard in the kitchen that stays cold constantly, I put all our meat inside and it barely ever spoils.

[ Barely. ]

The house is a wreck on the third-floor but the other two levels have indoor plumbing with warm water, and there's some kind of fancy chamberpot upstairs that flushes the mess away. It might look abandoned now but whoever lived there before us must have been rolling in gold. Uh, credits.

[ Either Fjord is really talking this place up, or they've accidentally stumbled on the former abode of some high-ranking government official or genius arcanist. ]

No kidding? That is impressive.

[ Who just abandons a house that's tricked out like that? Wild that they were able to just move right in. It occurs to him only after some more extensive thought that this sort of thing might be...normal? Here?

It feels almost like being greedy to ask after everything Fjord's just told him, but he's curious. ]

Is there a tub for bathing also?

Yeah, it drains out the dirty water through the pipes. I've been heating up hotter water over a fire-pit in the backyard, Molly's in a better mood if he can boil himself alive. It's fine warm, though. Oh! And the beds ...

[ The last leg of the journey to the three-storey-but-actually-two-storey townhouse is filled with Fjord taking a respite from moodier topics by regaling Caleb with trite stories. Plush bedding and pillows, some stolen from other abandoned houses, radiators that warm the rooms ... it's far from the worst place to be staying.

As the house rises up before them in the middle of the street he lapses into a thoughtful pause. ]

I think he stayed inside this morning. [ Glancing at Caleb, he feels the weight of everything start to bear back down on them. ] You ready?

[ The light chatter is good, and Caleb characteristically listens more than he responds. He commits the path to memory as they walk, confident that he'll be able to travel from the house to the beach alone with ease, should he need to.

The actual building looks worse for wear from the outside, with the third floor in shambles, but that matters very little. What matters is what is inside.

He glances sidelong back at Fjord. ]

Sure. As much as I can be.

[ He hopes, in this moment, that Fjord is right. That it really is Mollymauk, without any further complications. Just their friend miraculously returned to them.

He walks alongside Fjord up to the front door, but waves the half-orc forward when they reach it. Better for him to say something first, probably. ]

[ He doesn't know why he's nervous, he's been here for a month with Molly. It's just, a lot. All the time. Can't they fast-forward to a plan to get back home with Molly and just escape? That's the dream.

Fjord heads in first, calling up the stairs directly ahead. ]

Molly! There's someone here to see you.

[ He paces into the living room where they will have enough space for a reunion, hand on a hip. ]

[ Molly's found on the lumpy couch, half-buried in a blanket and dealing with the hangover he had earned from yesterday. When Fjord comes in, looking all cheery, the tiefling sits up and rubs his face a bit. ]

Huh? I'm not looking for company today, I still can't feel my gums from the stuff I took yesterday.

[ His red eyes have deep, dark circles under them both from his overindulging and lack of sleep, and he generally looks pretty haggard. ]

[ Caleb takes a half-step forward, then pauses in the threshold, not quite entering the living room. The sound of Molly's voice stops him. It's so familiar, the cadence and the lilt and the words themselves. It's incredibly nostalgic.

Also impossible not to compare to the man he'd so recently conversed with in this very same body. But the two are distinctly different.

Well, he can't put this off. With a steady breath he steps into the room properly, hands clutching nervously at the purple coat he still holds draped over one arm. ]

Hallo, Mollymauk.

[ He manages a thin smile, tempering tentative hope and joy with more realistic wariness. Looking at Molly now, it is impossible not to overlay that face in his mind with one he had seen more recently, identical and yet with a different range of expressions. ]

I hope you will permit just one unannounced visitor.

[ He only needs to hear the 'hallo' before he's up on his feet, tails swishing with excitement and the tired face blooming into a wide smile.

A very Molly smile, with no shame, care or hidden falsehoods. Only joy. ]

Caleb! You're here, too?

[ His colorful coat is bright and not stained with mud, half-off his shoulders and sliding further down when he hurries over and stops to stand in front of the human. Caleb... Caleb looked a lot different from what he remembered. He always imagined the wizard would clean up well, but this was impressive.

Grinning, he opens his arms for a hug, forgetting all about the arguments he had with Fjord when they arrived, and that they only knew Lucien these days. ]

Your hair is longer. You look so good.

[ It takes him a moment to assess Molly's appearance, to register the clean and perfectly intact coat, the openness of his posture, the easy happiness in his smile. If this is a ruse, it is a very, very good one. Lucien, from what Caleb had gleaned about the man, did not seem interested in knowing anything about Mollymauk Tealeaf. How could he ever understand him well enough to emulate him so well?

Caleb's shoulders drop slightly as he releases some of the tension from his body. He understands now what Fjord had been saying. Contrary to all reason, this does seem to be Molly just as he was when they knew him. ]

I, ah--yes. Thank you?

[ He remembers how overwhelming Molly's presence could be. But remembering is quite different from experiencing. Under Fjord's watchful eye, Caleb takes a stilted step forward into Molly's open arms and allows himself to be embraced, curling an arm around the tiefling's back in return. That he so readily accepts a hug at all is a significant change from the Caleb Widogast Molly had been familiar with. ]

I am-- [ And this is where it really hits him: whatever else may be true, this is his friend back from the dead. Almost certainly. He breathes a soft, baffled-sounding laugh. ] --so, so glad to see you, circus man.

[ As soon as Caleb even hints at moving in his direction, Molly's hugging him with all the panache and excitement of said circus man- even his tail wraps around an ankle. It is quite different for the wizard to actually be accepting his offer for a hug (not that he always offers), so the tiefling's beaming.

New hair, new clothes, new strength in his eyes. Molly's both so proud and sad that he's missed seeing this amazing change in the previously very broken man. ]

I'm happy to see you, as well... is everything alright back home? You're safe?

[ It takes him a while to pull back from the hug and Molly still keeps a hand on the wizard's shoulder when he does, as if those gleaming red eyes just can't get enough of him. ]

[ Caleb is patient. He lets Molly decide how long the hug will last and doesn't draw back even afterward. In fact, he enjoys the warmth of it, though the tail curled around his ankle definitely registers as different. ]

You know how it is. We would not be the Nein if we were not involved in something stupid and dangerous.

[ He cracks a smile, all sardonic humor. He is definitely not safe back home, and things are far from all right. But isn't that the usual state of things?

Looking at Molly like this face to face is surreal. There is the urge to sit down and talk about nothing and everything, as one would when catching up with a friend after a long time apart. Reduced to its most basic parts, he supposes that is exactly what this is. ]

That's fair.

[ Really, 'safe' was mostly 'alive' with the Nein, and it's kind of nice to hear they're still chaotic.

Molly grins at Caleb's smile, absolutely loving how much the wizard has changed. Fjord's changes had been a bit jarring with the new accent and the new bulk (and the new self-acceptance), but this was more like a sudden (for him) blooming. It makes something soft in his chest that he wants to joke away. ]

You look like you've seen a ghost, so I'm assuming you and Fjord are from the same time?

[ The Nein's acceptance has clearly done something amazing for Caleb. The shadows of the past are long and he feels their presence constantly, especially after their recent time in Rexxentrum, but the Nein know the absolute worst of him and still love him. He feels deeply unworthy, but selfishly, he can't give it up. All he can do to repay this undue kindness is show his friends how much he cares for them in return by keeping them safe and happy.

That particular joke is pretty on the nose, though of course Molly is aware of that. Caleb's smile fades, turning rueful. ]

Ah--ja, we are.

[ It seems so, anyway, given their conversation so far. ]

I know that Fjord has told you what happens. [ He swallows hard. This is something he must say. His hands find Molly's, holding them in a tight grip between his own. ] I am sorry. I was there. But I was not strong enough to help you.

[ Molly pauses a bit and then sighs as Caleb confirms it. The tail falls and curls at his feet, even if his smile stays up. He's a liar, after all, and damn if he's going to completely show Caleb how messed up he is about it. The wizard already knows, obviously, but Molly's stubborn.

Instead he focuses on that sudden proclamation of guilt, turning their hands so he can stroke a thumb over the backs with a softer, more honest look on his face. ]

You're not allowed to be sorry. It just happened. Knowing I died for a good cause makes it worth it. [ It's terrible and frightening and oh-so-unfair but it's still him. He got to die as himself rather than just fading into nothing. ]

I'm more concerned about... about this other bastard wearing my tattoos. I hope he hates them.

[ Molly tenses a bit, expecting the 'you're the same person' starting again. Fjord had been adamant about it and it was grating badly on the purple tiefling's soul. ]

That...is complicated. I could explain as much as I understand, but there isn't much that we know for certain yet.

[ Caleb feels compelled to say something at least somewhat informative, though. Molly should know what they know about this. ]

As he describes it, his soul was sundered, scattered with magic, and you were what was left behind. [ A small, wry smile. ] Must have been the best part, because the rest seems pretty shitty. He wants nothing to do with you in much the same way you wanted nothing to do with him. I'm sure he hates your tattoos.

[ This has certainly been reassuring for him, at least. He's ninety-nine percent certain that Lucien has nothing to do with the man in front of him, which is a massive relief. Now he just has to worry about keeping it that way. ]

[ Molly listens, trying his best to not fall apart when Caleb explains what he knows. Fjord was kind of right, then, and he as part of Lucien; that they are technically are the same person. He's a fragment of someone. That crack in him just feels larger at every word, despite his swift rush of glee at 'winning' over Lucien, knowing that he put his art all over that body and the bastard had to live with it.

He couldn't be forgotten or ignored so easily.

The tiefling sighs and gently squeezes those freckled hands again. ]

We should drag another mattress into the bedroom. Unfortunately I don't think we can all fit to cuddle on the bed.

[ Divert, distract. Don't fall apart. ]

[ There is more Caleb wants to say about this, but it becomes clear that Molly is done with the topic when he blatantly changes the subject. That's all right. For now, he'll let him decide how much of this information he can handle at once. The matter of their sleeping arrangements does have to be solved.

Fjord had mentioned sleeping in the same room, which was standard, but in the same bed is new information, which is probably apparent in the slight raise of his brows. Caleb wonders briefly if Molly is exaggerating about the cuddling, and then decides immediately that it is none of his business. Sometimes sharing a bed is necessary. He'd done it himself for months when Veth was Nott. ]

An extra mattress would be good. I don't mind the floor.

[ Calling from the kitchen where he is absolutely not selectively listening, ]

Who's hungry?

[ Molly looks over to Fjord when the half-orc enters to bring the topic changing to even more mundane things, and he's relived yet again. How strange is that, to take any little thing as a way to get the fuck out of that discussion?

The more he found out about the future the more it felt like his own self was slipping away and all that was left was something boring and colorless.

The fragment of a soul, is he? Molly's lived his whole short life running head first into everything because he know he could be gone at any moment and he would be back. The tiefling did everything recklessly and with no shame because he didn't want to miss a single moment of what was his own damn life.

He made himself a rainbow of color, a peacock in manner and a passionate, hungry person that would always agree to new experiences. Not a good person, but trying to be a kind one.

All of that in a small piece of Lucien.

Molly shakes his head and heads for the door instead. ]

I need a drink.

[ No matter that he's still a bit hungover. ]

Tough shit, I've been cooking like a firbolg while you two have been chatting. Get in here!

[ He doesn't think Molly needs to be drinking alcohol but who is he to boss around a grown man? He does, however, have a surprise. ]

Take a seat, both of you! I've been heating up something for Caleb to eat. First real meal on the island ought to be one you can trust.

[ There's a big plate of shredded roast goose with a side of grapes on the main table, the condiments Fjord has spent his scant credits on standing sentry over the basic meal (ranch and garlic sauce are amazing, okay). The back door is open and the scent of an extinguished fire can be smelled, so he closes that to keep them warm without the smoke and, prompted by Molly's desire to get wasted, hastily finds three mugs from the cupboards. ]

[ Caleb follows a pace behind Molly into the kitchen, where he makes eye contact with Fjord and grimaces slightly. He assumes most of their conversation had been easily overheard. He'd wanted to tell Molly the truth, but is there something he could have said better or more gently?

It's useless to second-guess. The damage is done, and unfortunately there will have to be more conversations like this in the future.

He pulls out a chair at the table and sits down as prompted, looking over the simple but delicious-smelling meal Fjord has provided. Far be it from him to ever complain about a hot meal, let alone a safe one, when it seems so much of the food here is not to be trusted. ]

You've been doing the cooking, Fjord? [ A hand curls around the mug nearest him. Honestly, he could use a drink too. ] Caduceus would be proud.

[ It was the truth, and truth is always painful. There's a reason Molly's a liar.

Food-guilted to abandon his idea of getting shitfaced and have questionable sex somewhere, he follows along into the room and sinks into a chair. He is happy to see Caleb, so Molly decides that he's going to focus on that for the rest of the day.

He can deal with this pain later.

Rubbing his face with a hand, he then puts on his smile again. ]

Goose and grapes, the only food out there that we found out wasn't going to make you come in your pants.

[ He looks pleased with the compliment, shaking his head even so. Caduceus would be proud only half the plate can be called chargrilled. ]

It's just some meat and fruit.

[ He pours hot water into the three mugs, then passes out the hot chocolate bombs that he requested from the Augur; a test to see if they would humour him beyond his sword. Brown, oddly marbled balls that he hasn't shown to Molly yet but shares a smug look Caleb's way. ]

I've been waiting for an occasion to break these bad boys out. Molly, do you want to go first?

[ Notably, Caleb does not say what part of it Caduceus would be proud of. The firbolg does always seem to appreciate a genuine effort, whatever the result. ]

I have been getting the sense that being picky about what you eat here is not wise.

[ There's a quirk of his lips in return for that look as he tilts his head toward Molly, indicating that he should be first. ]

You'll like these, [ he tells him with certainty. ]

00. Arrival

I. Entertainment District

II. Sexscape Room

III. Speed Dating at the Limp Noodle

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