TDM 004: WASHED ASHORE

[erkumods]

TDM 004: WASHED ASHORE

Arrival This time, you come out of the water. While the Augur reboots, the Nameless Island's own inherent energy draws people in. It's like being suspended between realities and walking through a rift in dimensions. It may make you sick, or that might be the motion of the ocean, lifting you and carrying you to shore. Waterlogged and covered in sand, new arrivals will be greeted by robots who welcome them with towels and bracelet devices. The A5 card is already loaded up. Inventory will be found a day later, wrapped up haphazardly and delivered to each person's makeshift home. ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● I. Feel the friendship! Recent arrivals and visitors to the beach may notice a sudden influx of hundreds of bright red crustaceans crawling (and coupling) across the sand. It's crab mating season, as it turns out, it's a regular invasion! To keep the beach a pleasant place to gather for the island's inhabitants, the robots are offering credits to especially enterprising crab-catchers. Grab a bucket and get to work! Be sure to watch out for their pinch, mind you. Their little claws are tiny, but that doesn’t mean they don’t hurt. Surprisingly, there is another effect that even the robots don't anticipate: islanders who are pinched by the crabs find themselves feeling instantly buddy-buddy with the next person they spot. Did you just become best friends?! Get pinched one too many times, however, and those feelings may sour into a crabby mood, indeed. If you are feeling particularly vengeful (or just hungry), the little crabs do make for delicious gumbo. Once cooked, they have no side effects whatsoever. ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● II. Phallus Phestival Although the Augur is offline and supplies are scarce, the robots of Erku are still eager to make their run-down little island a welcoming place for the new arrivals. To that end, they have arranged a three day festival to boost morale and promote the generation of plenty of Eros energy to assist in the restoration of the damaged and decayed parts of the city. The robots claim that this celebration was once a cornerstone of the long-lost civilization of the island. By the dawn of the first day, every island resident will find at their doorstep (or tent flap, mobile suit, etc) the traditional costume of the ancient islanders to wear to the festival. It appears to be... a giant sheet? There doesn’t seem to be any rhyme or reason to the sometimes garish colors and patterns of the fabric, but at least the robots have uploaded instructions on how to wear it to your bracelet device. Attendees will find food (mostly crab-flavored), confections, and household necessities in rather suggestive shapes, as well as goods you might find handy to complete your A5 squares: sex toys, pervertibles, sexy maid outfits, and the like. While islanders are welcome to set up shop on the festival grounds and sell (or charge) whatever they like, all items from the robots are offered up for free to those who wear their traditional island garb! ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● III. Fireside Adventures Each night of the festival is wrapped up in style with an enormous bonfire on the beach, where drinks, fruity cocktails, and lively music appropriate for dancing is all provided at no cost by the robots. Even if you’re not usually much of a dancer, the longer you stand by the fire and allow it to warm your limbs, the more you feel like moving! Not only that, but everyone is looking quite beautiful by the firelight, are they not? If you’ve grown tired - or if dancing just isn’t your thing - you might prefer to sit back and swap stories on one of the many driftwood log benches the robots have prepared for seating. Or, maybe you’d prefer to rough it for the night in one of the beachside canvas tents. Better claim one quick, though, or be prepared to share… there’s only one sleeping bag! ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● N A V I G A T I O N

Comments

i was going to make him cool but. he deserves this

[improvise]

[ not klavier! right now, he knows that the view of ema trying to catch crabs is something better seen from a distance. he might catch those detective hands when she finally realizes he's there, but at least the short distance between them might give him a running start. right now, he's just enjoying the scene, hand at his hip and smile pulled irresistibly up on his mouth. it's like watching a cartoon.

he is unmistakable, though, despite seeming slightly more tired than usual and his once perfectly-spiraled hair being pulled into a loose, wavy ponytail over his shoulder. and he's in a cream-colored toga. there's that.

after that big spray of sand and crab, which all scuttle away at nightmarish speed back towards the water, he decides that he's left her to her own devices for long enough—

until one of the scurrying crabs gets him in the toe. klavier hops backward on one foot, reaching to hold his stinging toe and staunch the pain. ]

Ach! Get away from me! [ insert german expletive here. enjoy this while it lasts, ema. ]

he desERVeS ThIs

[karintous]

[ There's a way normal people would respond to Klavier getting assaulted by a crab. There's a way normal Ema would respond to Klavier getting assaulted by a crab. And then there's a way particularly crabby Ema responds to Klavier getting assaulted by a crab:

She starts running at him with even more crabs in her hands. And is that her drawing back an arm to throw one at him? Why yes, yes it is. ]

AKSJSKD

[improvise]

[ this is so unfortunate. because when klavier looks up again to see where his entertainment might have gone, his reaction to ema is probably nothing like she's expecting, even if she might be too particularly crabby to care.

klavier's pain ebbs, and as he lets go of his aching toe and stands up tall, he smiles at her with genuine happiness. even while she's coming at him with a crab pulled behind her, ready for launch. ]

Ah, Fräulein Detective.

[ he sets a hand on his hip, standing casually as she menacingly approaches. ema! his favorite coworker! :) he raises his brows at her, but otherwise keeps beaming. there's no way she would throw crabs at him, so maybe she's just running funny. they're buddies! ]

I was surprised to see you here. And you've managed to capture them, I see! Very impressive.

[karintous]

!

[ Ema skids to a stop.

She's leery of Klavier's stupid prettyboy rockstar face at the best of times, and this is very much nearing the worst of times. She eyes him suspiciously, lowering the crab she was just about to throw, but keeps both crabs raised defensively. She strafes from side to side in agitation, ready to physically dodge whatever annoying bull honky he's sure to spew her way.

Yes, she technically answers to him at work, but that's his fault for not getting her fired yet. He knows what she's like. ]

Prosecutor Gavin. I should've known you'd be involved in all this. [ A beat. ] You look awful, by the way.

[ Said as a matter of fact, not concern. ]

[improvise]

[ klavier seems unaffected by how she comes to a halt in front of him. he knew she wasn't going to fire at him, of course, but the sourness in her expression and the way she seems to be on the defense doesn't seem surprising to him. she's often in bad moods—not that he's ever minded, although it seems more of a shame to him now than it usually would be. he watches her for a moment. ]

...That's quite the interesting dance you're doing.

[ first off. there's no need to strafe!! he's not going to launch anything. he addresses her last comment next, taking a quick glance down at himself. ah. and then he smiles back up at her again, even laughing lightly, like she hadn't meant to call him ugly. ]

I'm afraid we are lacking many luxuries here on this island, as I'm sure you've come to understand. It's difficult to care for myself the same way I might have back home.

[ bc she isn't talking about the toga or his body, since he expertly wrapped the toga and he's been keeping himself fit. he can acknowledge that he looks more tired than usual and his hair is out of place, though! ]

But you believe I am involved in what's happening here, Fräulein? What makes you say that?

[karintous]

[ Klavier Gavin at his most awful still looks more smugly photogenic than most other people at their best. It's enough to make a girl want to weaponize a crustacean. Severely tempted, Ema halts her tactical sidestepping so that she can jab a crab in his direction. The crab waves its little limbs around. ]

I'm saying that you and my personal misery are handcuffed at the wrist! You may not be the cause of all this, but you being here is right in line with some cosmic running joke.

[ Though her malcontent around him has always been evident, she's being especially candid today. Probably because of all the little red pinch marks speckling her hands. And probably because they aren't in a work setting, which would normally lay a shade of a facade of a veneer of professionalism over her attitude.

Ugh. If only she had something aggressively crunchy to vent her frustration on. She glares at Klavier critically. ]

So this is what the amazing Klavier Gavin looks like when he has to rough it with the commoners, is it? Maybe I should take a picture. Hah! Something to ward off those girls always trying to trample my crime scenes.

[ She hopes his dumb unpampered face makes them cry!! ]

[improvise]

[ ema needs to differentiate herself from the average girl, in his opinion. most girls (and paparazzi) would kill for the sight of klavier gavin in a toga!!

this is what he would be thinking, anyway, if he wasn't convinced that ema was a perfectly good friend of his. he doesn't start at all when she points her crab at him, only watching its little arms wave around like it's a little puppet and she's the ventriloquist.

he sees those pinch marks, though. those look like they might swell up a little if she doesn't get any ice on them, though he remembers the robots mentioning that they should avoid being pinched one too many times. he's listening, letting his eyes dart to the bracelet (read: handcuff) on her wrist down to his toga and back to her.

he clicks his tongue, shaking his head at her. ]

In a foul mood again, aren't you? Ach. I can't blame you. Even I was fortunate enough not to wake up in the ocean when I arrived. Although...

[ it's like she didn't even say anything mean... he smiles halfway up his mouth, even fearlessly taking a step forward. he gestures towards her crab-holding hand—almost like he might grab her wrist if she lets the crab go. ]

You may want to get some ice for those angry red marks. They look painful, ja? I'm certain they aren't helping your temperament. They should have some at the stalls nearby.

[karintous]

[ The more he talks to her, the less she likes his attitude. His perfectly pleasant, sympathetic, friendly attitude. Who does he think he is?? And she doesn't trust that smile. She's confident she's given him zero cause for happiness in this moment, if ever. Whatever's going on in that smug head of his, she doesn't like it. ]

Can't I be unhappy to see you because I'm unhappy to see you? Believe it or not, glimmer boy, not everyone is head over heels in love with you.

[ In an amazing show of self-restraint, she finally decides against throwing the crabs at him -- the crabs don't deserve that -- and dumps them on the sand so that they can stop trying to pinch her. Wary of Klavier's step forward but too stubborn to step backward, she simply glowers up at him. ]

I haven't been here for very long. I don't have the currency for anything in those stalls.

[ She assumes the ice is dick-shaped and therefore being sold for credits. The island just seems unfair like that. ]

[improvise]

[ why does everything have to have an ulterior motive ): why can't he just be happy to see you, ema! she's so mean, but klavier's current state of being dictates that this is just how she is, and klavier knows she can be cooperative under all the prickliness.

she even stopped harassing the crabs and put them down, which is a good sign to him! even if she's glowering back at him. his good mood isn't backing down. he'll just ignore the comment about not everyone being in love with him, because that's obviously wrong. ]

Ah ha ha. Not to worry. [ he places a hand over his chest. ] Dressed like this, I won't need to use currency to get the food or items from the stalls. I will get you some ice, although they are...oddly shaped. Is there anything else you would like, Fräulein Detective?

[karintous]

For you to be on the next continent over, but we can't always have what we want.

[ Actually, there's plenty she needs, including but not limited to: better shelter, clothing, and food, but like hell is she giving Klavier the satisfaction of giving it to her. The ice is already pushing it.

To hurry this interaction along, she starts off toward the nearby festival stalls. ]

So what's the verdict? Is there any truth to what the robots say? Because I'm still not quite convinced this all of this isn't some ill-advised prank.

[ Klavier may be insufferable, but Ema has to admit that he's smart and generally well-informed. It's worth picking his brain... every once in a while. ]

[improvise]

[ klavier... laughs, bc his altered brain says this is a great joke between besties. ]

You wound me, Fräulein Detective.

[ and he follows beside her to the stalls, keeping pace whether she likes it or not. when she gets to her question about the robots, his sunny expression goes sour. he raises his arm out in front of him, as if to show off his shoulder to her, where the toga is strapped to his skin. ]

You believe I would dress this way in public if it were a prank? Ach! I thought the same as you when I arrived here!

[ she opened this lid... sorry. ]

I thought I had been pulled for some reality television series without my consent, but I'm afraid it's all true. You get only what you scavenge or earn here, and there are no provisions offered by the robots here aside from what will forcibly fulfill their needs from us. By whatever technology or drugs they've manifested, they can even alter the state of our minds. It has happened to me twice now. I can't be sure that the story they've concocted is anything but a farce, but their power over us and our state of living is a very real thing.

[karintous]

[ Damn his long legs!! And she really doesn't get what he's having such a good time about when she's being very direct with her dislike of him.

Ah, but his sunny demeanor finally cracks. In a way, she prefers him like this. He's a diva, true, and the things he chooses to be dramatic about seem largely asinine to her, but it's nice being reminded that underneath his perfect image, Klavier Gavin is a mere grump-prone mortal like the rest of them. It almost makes him relatable. Also, it's hilarious. She wags a lazy finger at him, her mouth tipping up into a crooked smile. ]

Ah, ah. Careful, fop. Your personality is showing.

[ What he's saying is serious, and she was listening to his assessment seriously, but sometimes poking fun at Prosecutor Gavin takes precendence. She lifts her hands into a small shrug. ]

Well, if our straits are really that dire, I suppose I should be thankful you're here. If there's anyone with enough star power to inspire a global search and rescue effort, it's you.

[ A large percentage of the search and rescue team might actually be shrieking teens, but hey. ]

[improvise]

[ he hears her, and he sees that crooked smile and finger wag, but instead of being angry or irritated over it, he simply sighs and shakes his head. because ema is still his bestie as far as he knows! she's right that he's not outwardly projecting his usual self, but he's been here long enough to feel the absence of his luxuries and the audience and paparazzi that constantly surrounded him. he can technically act any way he wants here, even if his usual cool-headed self is the one he prefers to wear the most. ]

You seem surprisingly calm to hear that these robots that have us under their thumbs can alter how we think and act. I suppose one of us has to be the cheerier one about it.

[ maybe ema is still having a hard time believing this is real. she'll get a rude awakening at some point, unfortunately. klavier is certain of it. he's frowning again. ]

If the search and rescue has been deployed, and it almost certainly has, then they're taking their time with it. Herr Justice has even been here longer than I have.

Still... you heard what I had said before, ja? How people can be brought from different worlds and points in time?

[karintous]

[ The circumstances do still feel unreal to her at the moment, even if Klavier's testimony is a nail hammered home. He wouldn't joke about something like this -- even if he now seems to be talking about the multiverse and time travel with a straight face. When she was young, she would've been excited to hear that such theoretical concepts might be tangible, but then she grew up, and now here they are. ]

W-well... I do recall something of that nature being said. Let me guess: you don't think any outside help will be forthcoming because we aren't on our Earth or in our time anymore.

[ She still feels skeptical about it, like they all might be getting strung along in some grand conspiracy, but if Klavier is so convinced about it, then maybe... ]

[improvise]

[ she really is just trying to make sense of it in her mind. he's feeling sorry for her now, though he knows if he said it out loud, she would deny it. he sighs through his nose, his shoulders slacking slightly. ]

I know how it must sound to someone whose beliefs are rooted in science. [ he's at least picked up that much about her. it's almost nice, coming from him, and that can be attributed to the crab pinch. ]

It only feels right to warn you, Fräulein. Plenty of things I've seen have made little sense here.

[karintous]

[ Because she is a simple woman at heart, his mention of science manages to pacify her, at least a little. If they can both agree that she isn't crazy for thinking the rest of this is crazy, then that's a start. She sighs and pushes back a stray lock of hair. ]

... Fine, I get it. I'll try to keep an open mind.

[ It won't stop her from hating it! But she'll try.

She pauses at a stall that seems to be offering popsicles, drinks, and other cold penistreats. Beside the robot attendant is a collection of crystal clear ice penises which are clearly too large to fit into any cups, and Ema will try not to think too hard about their intended usage.

Seeing the ice, she looks to Klavier with a raised eyebrow. ]

You're up, glimmer boy.

[improvise]

Ah. Allow me, Fräulein Detective.

[ klavier is grinning again as he walks around her to the front of the booth. he seems to be in a better mood now, even if she did just call him a name? he decides he's used to it by now, and it's even a little endearing! same old ema.

klavier asks the attendant for ice "for the fräulein's wounds," and the robot wastes no time turning around, plucking a crystal penis from the shelf, and offering it to ema. with a free little bottle of lube that it pulls up from behind the counter. it tells her in its clunky robot voice to please enjoy.

klavier turns away and brings a fist over his mouth. he's not smiling. that's crazy. ]

[karintous]

.........

[ Ema takes the perfectly formed ice penis. Then there's a mighty bang and shudder of the stall as she cracks the penis against the corner of the counter, snapping the entire implement in half. She keeps the cylindrical end of it for herself and, conspicuously, perhaps subconsciously, just so happens to hold it with the jagged end toward Klavier. ]

You're too kind, Prosecutor.

[improvise]

[ "perhaps" subconsciously.... hm. klavier gets to lose his cool and actually start a little when ema suddenly smashes the thing on the side of the stall; he brings up his arm in front of him in defense, but it's over quicker than he can really react. he lowers it when he sees that it's finally over. and don't think he isn't seeing that sharp end of the dildo.

um yikes! any other time, klavier would be quickly excusing himself, but not now. he just... laughs good-naturedly. ]

That is one way of making it look more tasteful, isn't it, Fräulein Detective?

[ he dares to try and set a hand on her shoulder, unfortunately. ]

Although you should be careful where you point it after that, ja? That looks like quite the weapon.

[karintous]

[ She was really hoping that her ice dick shiv would send the message that Klavier should scoot off now -- he's usually good about sensing her wrath and exercising swift self-preservation maneuvers -- but for some reason he's being extra buddy-buddy today. It feels like more than just happiness at seeing a familiar face, and a little bell of alarm goes off in her head, especially when he puts an overly friendly hand on her shoulder. She twitches on contact, but doesn't withdraw. Meanwhile her stony expression, curiously enough, relaxes. ]

Unfortunately, ice doesn't make for good stabbing. The sharper it is, the more brittle it gets.

[ Shame, really. In any case, Klavier is acting strangely and he did just say that their states of mind could be altered by mysterious means. This could be that, she supposes.

Science time.

Ema turns back to the stall. ]

Snow cone, please.

[ The robot vendor quickly obliges, holding out a snow cone in an improbably penis-shaped paper holder. Ema scoops out the ball of ice on top with her hand and then very calmly reaches up to smush it on top of Klavier's head. She has a process, don't question it. ]

1/2

[improvise]

Ah, of course. You would know better than I.

[ even though she? just told him about how ice isn't good for stabbing? he should know this after reading so many case files, but he's preoccupied with how his best friend ema skye is here, and she's being her funny self.

which means she... is buying a snow cone.

and putting her hand in it? and then crushing it on klavier's head????

he doesn't even move when it happens because of the absurdity. he just stands there, in shock, even for a second after it happens before the cold suddenly jolts him awake. wtf!!! he stumbles back, pushing the ice off onto the sand and quickly trying to brush off the ice. it's sticky and cold and wet!! why!!! ]

Wh-What is the meaning of-

2/2

[improvise]

[ then he looks up and sees ema again. ah. best friend!

he slows his roll and stands up tall again, smiling weakly even as he continues to... brush the top of his head dry. ]

That... was a very strange joke, even from you. It's not even that warm here, Fräulein Detective, but perhaps you were trying to cool me down without saying so? Thank you, I suppose... [ he is reaching so hard ]

[karintous]

[ Interesting. Fascinating, even. If she had a notebook on hand, she might feel inclined to scribble into it furiously. She looks at him thoughtfully, idly turning the ice penis chunk in her hands. It looked like he was about to have a normal diva reaction for a moment, but then became supernaturally possessed by goodwill. He even thanked her, if so very doubtfully. There's something off with him, that's for sure.

And so the experiment must continue. She smacks her ice cylinder into her open palm decisively. ]

It was my pleasure.

[ She has never meant those words more. ]

I'd say you've lost some weight, Prosecutor. Let me help you with that too.

[ She leans over to the next stall, picks up a (lobster-flavored) custard cream pie out on display, and casually reaches up to slap it onto Klavier's face. For science, of course. ]

[improvise]

[ HELLO? klavier is a fool and he does absolutely nothing but watch while ema picks up the pie, even after what happened with the snow cone. and now he's getting penis pied in the face. he literally doesn't move for a second, just processing what just happened, because things like this don't happen to klavier gavin without him getting paid an incredible amount of money first.

the pie tin and its contents slide off of his face, sadly ruining his perfect cream-colored toga before it all drops to the floor. he's still standing completely still, the shape of his face still underneath the pie. thankfully his eyes are closed. then, he cleans his lips underneath all the custard and crust and quietly speaks: ]

Fräulein Detective.

[karintous]

[ Uh-oh. His quiet tone makes her stand straight to attention even as she decidedly chooses to look at things that are not him. Super, super casually, she says: ]

Y-yes?

[ Maybe she took it too far...? ]