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TDM 004: WASHED ASHORE
| TDM 004: WASHED ASHORE |
Arrival  This time, you come out of the water. While the Augur reboots, the Nameless Island's own inherent energy draws people in. It's like being suspended between realities and walking through a rift in dimensions. It may make you sick, or that might be the motion of the ocean, lifting you and carrying you to shore. Waterlogged and covered in sand, new arrivals will be greeted by robots who welcome them with towels and bracelet devices. The A5 card is already loaded up. Inventory will be found a day later, wrapped up haphazardly and delivered to each person's makeshift home. I. Feel the friendship!  Recent arrivals and visitors to the beach may notice a sudden influx of hundreds of bright red crustaceans crawling (and coupling) across the sand. It's crab mating season, as it turns out, it's a regular invasion! To keep the beach a pleasant place to gather for the island's inhabitants, the robots are offering credits to especially enterprising crab-catchers. Grab a bucket and get to work! Be sure to watch out for their pinch, mind you. Their little claws are tiny, but that doesn’t mean they don’t hurt. Surprisingly, there is another effect that even the robots don't anticipate: islanders who are pinched by the crabs find themselves feeling instantly buddy-buddy with the next person they spot. Did you just become best friends?! Get pinched one too many times, however, and those feelings may sour into a crabby mood, indeed. If you are feeling particularly vengeful (or just hungry), the little crabs do make for delicious gumbo. Once cooked, they have no side effects whatsoever. II. Phallus Phestival  Although the Augur is offline and supplies are scarce, the robots of Erku are still eager to make their run-down little island a welcoming place for the new arrivals. To that end, they have arranged a three day festival to boost morale and promote the generation of plenty of Eros energy to assist in the restoration of the damaged and decayed parts of the city. The robots claim that this celebration was once a cornerstone of the long-lost civilization of the island. By the dawn of the first day, every island resident will find at their doorstep (or tent flap, mobile suit, etc) the traditional costume of the ancient islanders to wear to the festival. It appears to be... a giant sheet? There doesn’t seem to be any rhyme or reason to the sometimes garish colors and patterns of the fabric, but at least the robots have uploaded instructions on how to wear it to your bracelet device. Attendees will find food (mostly crab-flavored), confections, and household necessities in rather suggestive shapes, as well as goods you might find handy to complete your A5 squares: sex toys, pervertibles, sexy maid outfits, and the like. While islanders are welcome to set up shop on the festival grounds and sell (or charge) whatever they like, all items from the robots are offered up for free to those who wear their traditional island garb! III. Fireside Adventures  Each night of the festival is wrapped up in style with an enormous bonfire on the beach, where drinks, fruity cocktails, and lively music appropriate for dancing is all provided at no cost by the robots. Even if you’re not usually much of a dancer, the longer you stand by the fire and allow it to warm your limbs, the more you feel like moving! Not only that, but everyone is looking quite beautiful by the firelight, are they not? If you’ve grown tired - or if dancing just isn’t your thing - you might prefer to sit back and swap stories on one of the many driftwood log benches the robots have prepared for seating. Or, maybe you’d prefer to rough it for the night in one of the beachside canvas tents. Better claim one quick, though, or be prepared to share… there’s only one sleeping bag! N A V I G A T I O N |
no subject
W-well... I do recall something of that nature being said. Let me guess: you don't think any outside help will be forthcoming because we aren't on our Earth or in our time anymore.
[ She still feels skeptical about it, like they all might be getting strung along in some grand conspiracy, but if Klavier is so convinced about it, then maybe... ]
no subject
I know how it must sound to someone whose beliefs are rooted in science. [ he's at least picked up that much about her. it's almost nice, coming from him, and that can be attributed to the crab pinch. ]
It only feels right to warn you, Fräulein. Plenty of things I've seen have made little sense here.
no subject
... Fine, I get it. I'll try to keep an open mind.
[ It won't stop her from hating it! But she'll try.
She pauses at a stall that seems to be offering popsicles, drinks, and other cold penistreats. Beside the robot attendant is a collection of crystal clear ice penises which are clearly too large to fit into any cups, and Ema will try not to think too hard about their intended usage.
Seeing the ice, she looks to Klavier with a raised eyebrow. ]
You're up, glimmer boy.
no subject
[ klavier is grinning again as he walks around her to the front of the booth. he seems to be in a better mood now, even if she did just call him a name? he decides he's used to it by now, and it's even a little endearing! same old ema.
klavier asks the attendant for ice "for the fräulein's wounds," and the robot wastes no time turning around, plucking a crystal penis from the shelf, and offering it to ema. with a free little bottle of lube that it pulls up from behind the counter. it tells her in its clunky robot voice to please enjoy.
klavier turns away and brings a fist over his mouth. he's not smiling. that's crazy. ]
no subject
[ Ema takes the perfectly formed ice penis. Then there's a mighty bang and shudder of the stall as she cracks the penis against the corner of the counter, snapping the entire implement in half. She keeps the cylindrical end of it for herself and, conspicuously, perhaps subconsciously, just so happens to hold it with the jagged end toward Klavier. ]
You're too kind, Prosecutor.
no subject
um yikes! any other time, klavier would be quickly excusing himself, but not now. he just... laughs good-naturedly. ]
That is one way of making it look more tasteful, isn't it, Fräulein Detective?
[ he dares to try and set a hand on her shoulder, unfortunately. ]
Although you should be careful where you point it after that, ja? That looks like quite the weapon.
no subject
Unfortunately, ice doesn't make for good stabbing. The sharper it is, the more brittle it gets.
[ Shame, really. In any case, Klavier is acting strangely and he did just say that their states of mind could be altered by mysterious means. This could be that, she supposes.
Science time.
Ema turns back to the stall. ]
Snow cone, please.
[ The robot vendor quickly obliges, holding out a snow cone in an improbably penis-shaped paper holder. Ema scoops out the ball of ice on top with her hand and then very calmly reaches up to smush it on top of Klavier's head. She has a process, don't question it. ]
1/2
[ even though she? just told him about how ice isn't good for stabbing? he should know this after reading so many case files, but he's preoccupied with how his best friend ema skye is here, and she's being her funny self.
which means she... is buying a snow cone.
and putting her hand in it? and then crushing it on klavier's head????
he doesn't even move when it happens because of the absurdity. he just stands there, in shock, even for a second after it happens before the cold suddenly jolts him awake. wtf!!! he stumbles back, pushing the ice off onto the sand and quickly trying to brush off the ice. it's sticky and cold and wet!! why!!! ]
Wh-What is the meaning of-
2/2
he slows his roll and stands up tall again, smiling weakly even as he continues to... brush the top of his head dry. ]
That... was a very strange joke, even from you. It's not even that warm here, Fräulein Detective, but perhaps you were trying to cool me down without saying so? Thank you, I suppose... [ he is reaching so hard ]
no subject
And so the experiment must continue. She smacks her ice cylinder into her open palm decisively. ]
It was my pleasure.
[ She has never meant those words more. ]
I'd say you've lost some weight, Prosecutor. Let me help you with that too.
[ She leans over to the next stall, picks up a (lobster-flavored) custard cream pie out on display, and casually reaches up to slap it onto Klavier's face. For science, of course. ]
no subject
the pie tin and its contents slide off of his face, sadly ruining his perfect cream-colored toga before it all drops to the floor. he's still standing completely still, the shape of his face still underneath the pie. thankfully his eyes are closed. then, he cleans his lips underneath all the custard and crust and quietly speaks: ]
Fräulein Detective.
no subject
Y-yes?
[ Maybe she took it too far...? ]
no subject
it puts him right in range of a scuttling crab behind him, who runs into his leg before snapping at his heel with its claws. he winces, jerking his gaze towards his foot and hissing in pain. the little crab is kicked away in that motion, sailing through the air and landing on a small dune of sand before scuttling away.
but she can rest a little easier. he actually begins to chuckle, raising his hands to wipe the custard from his eyes. ]
Another prank for this 'fop,' is it? [ nope, not even this made it stop. but after wiping the custard from his eyes, klavier walks around her over to the custard pie booth. maybe he's asking for a towel or some water? ]
Normally, I wouldn't partake in such folly...
[ yes, he lifts up a pie. the part of him that's still ema's bestie might now be a little at war at the part of him crazy angry about his hair and outfit. ]
But you've had two rounds at me now. I'd say it's justified.
no subject
Now that he's got eyeholes in his custard pie face, she can't decide whether he looks hilarious or like a low-budget serial killer. Either way, she'd say it's an improvement. Before she can make a comment, however, he's lifting up a pie of his own. Ema goes into immediate battle mode, her eyes turning sharp. She slides back a step, raising her ice dick shiv like it could help her. ]
Fop, you do not want to get a step closer to me with that pie.
[ Fair play?? What's that. ]
no subject
klavier stays where he is, keeping his pie in hand and watching her through the eye-holes of his custard-covered face.
and then he feels another pinch at his foot. it stings, and he bites his lip, but he endures it. his fury climbs. she called him a fop, again. his face is covered in pie. and his hair.
ema better start running, because klavier just starts charging towards her, rearing the pie back and going in for the kill. ]
no subject
Aackk!
[ when he suddenly starts charging at her, but against her better reason, her first instinct is to reach for the nearest thing at hand to retaliate with. She manages to get a hand on a waffle of triple-scoop ice cream (ephemerally displayed, suggestively arranged) when she gets her own helping of pie smashed into her face.
Welp. It's officially war. She doesn't even wait to wipe her eyes clean before she picks up the ice cream cone and tries to smash it right into Klavier, wherever it may land. ]
no subject
she doesn't wipe her eyes, so she can't see his smirk as he comes to a halt in the sand. (the custard probably doesn't help get any visuals of his face either.) unfortunately, he was distracted enough by the event that he didn't even notice the ice cream in her other hand, and suddenly she's flinging it right at him.
he knows how to dodge, at least, but not well enough when he can hardly see around the custard on his face. so the ice cream lands in the worst place possible, or maybe the best place for ema. it hits low on his stomach, and some of it hits where it definitely shouldn't go.
there's a yelp, so she can be sure that she hit a good spot. klavier quickly brushes off the ice cream from his toga. his hands are sticky, he and his hair are a mess, and now there are two ice dicks. ]
Enough!
[ he flings the ice cream and custard and snow cone off of his sticky hands, glaring at ema across from him. ]
1/2
It figures something as harmless as a food fight would be what got his goat. ]
2/2
What's gotten into you? You've been acting strangely this whole time!
[ yes she is really going to be putting this on him after dumping a snow cone on his head and then pieing him in the face ]
no subject
Me, Fräulein Detective? I meet you at the beach, tell you information about the island, bring you to a stall to get some ice for your wounds, and how do you respond to my help?
[ he's starts wiping the custard from his cheeks, flinging it onto the sand. they definitely have the attention of people around now, but klavier is all about drama. ]
You cover me in food, for no reason at all! Is that not acting strangely? And you're accusing me! Laughable!
no subject
Oh, there's a method to my madness. A scientific method, of course.
[ Of course...... but she doesn't feel like explaining herself to him, so rip. ]
I don't care how long you've been here — you've been way too chummy with me. It's weird. You should know how I feel about you, and if there's one thing you usually have in spades, it's tact.
[ Tact, not to be confused with subtlety. Klavier Gavin is not subtle, oh goodness no. ]
And charging at me with a pie? With all these people watching? You'd never tarnish your reputation like that.
no subject
by the end of it, unfortunately, he's still glaring. the robot spins on its swivel, almost looking worriedly between them, its little robot arms still held up in defense. klavier shoots an arm out in gesture towards the crowd of people and robots concentrated behind him, enjoying the festival or otherwise watching them bicker. ]
Hah! As if it hadn't already been tarnished enough by what you'd done to me? I couldn't have possibly made it any worse!
[ actually, yes. he definitely could have walked away, or washed off in the ocean or something? but it's ema's fault, clearly. he's not subtle at all.
he lets his arm drop to his side and still frowns deeply, but at least his voice is lowering. ]
As for my 'chumminess'... I can't decide that your one-sided vendetta against me has gone on long enough? Or I can't have any sympathy for you, considering where we are? I thought you would appreciate having someone on your side while you're here, even if that person is your boss.
[ he wipes another bit of pie from his face and flings it onto the sand, turning away from ema. ]
Clearly that was a mistake.
no subject
... Besides, he isn't the one who gets to decide if her one-sided vendetta has gone on long enough. Who does he think he is? So what if everyone loves him and he's rich and successful on two different fronts? Big diddly whoop. She can keep being sick and tired of him if she wants to. As for him having sympathy for her and thinking she wanted someone (and him of all people) on her side, that sounds like a personal problem. He should really work that out in his own time.
Anyway. There's clearly something off about him, but whatever. She assumes he'll get over it if mind-alteration is such a common thing around here. If he's still on his tantrum the next time she sees him, she'll deal with it then. Until then, she'll just roll her eyes, turn herself around, and start walking away. There's less point than usual in trying to talk to him while he's having a diva fit. ]