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TDM 004: WASHED ASHORE
TDM 004: WASHED ASHORE |
Arrival ![]() This time, you come out of the water. While the Augur reboots, the Nameless Island's own inherent energy draws people in. It's like being suspended between realities and walking through a rift in dimensions. It may make you sick, or that might be the motion of the ocean, lifting you and carrying you to shore. Waterlogged and covered in sand, new arrivals will be greeted by robots who welcome them with towels and bracelet devices. The A5 card is already loaded up. Inventory will be found a day later, wrapped up haphazardly and delivered to each person's makeshift home. I. Feel the friendship! ![]() Recent arrivals and visitors to the beach may notice a sudden influx of hundreds of bright red crustaceans crawling (and coupling) across the sand. It's crab mating season, as it turns out, it's a regular invasion! To keep the beach a pleasant place to gather for the island's inhabitants, the robots are offering credits to especially enterprising crab-catchers. Grab a bucket and get to work! Be sure to watch out for their pinch, mind you. Their little claws are tiny, but that doesn’t mean they don’t hurt. Surprisingly, there is another effect that even the robots don't anticipate: islanders who are pinched by the crabs find themselves feeling instantly buddy-buddy with the next person they spot. Did you just become best friends?! Get pinched one too many times, however, and those feelings may sour into a crabby mood, indeed. If you are feeling particularly vengeful (or just hungry), the little crabs do make for delicious gumbo. Once cooked, they have no side effects whatsoever. II. Phallus Phestival ![]() Although the Augur is offline and supplies are scarce, the robots of Erku are still eager to make their run-down little island a welcoming place for the new arrivals. To that end, they have arranged a three day festival to boost morale and promote the generation of plenty of Eros energy to assist in the restoration of the damaged and decayed parts of the city. The robots claim that this celebration was once a cornerstone of the long-lost civilization of the island. By the dawn of the first day, every island resident will find at their doorstep (or tent flap, mobile suit, etc) the traditional costume of the ancient islanders to wear to the festival. It appears to be... a giant sheet? There doesn’t seem to be any rhyme or reason to the sometimes garish colors and patterns of the fabric, but at least the robots have uploaded instructions on how to wear it to your bracelet device. Attendees will find food (mostly crab-flavored), confections, and household necessities in rather suggestive shapes, as well as goods you might find handy to complete your A5 squares: sex toys, pervertibles, sexy maid outfits, and the like. While islanders are welcome to set up shop on the festival grounds and sell (or charge) whatever they like, all items from the robots are offered up for free to those who wear their traditional island garb! III. Fireside Adventures ![]() Each night of the festival is wrapped up in style with an enormous bonfire on the beach, where drinks, fruity cocktails, and lively music appropriate for dancing is all provided at no cost by the robots. Even if you’re not usually much of a dancer, the longer you stand by the fire and allow it to warm your limbs, the more you feel like moving! Not only that, but everyone is looking quite beautiful by the firelight, are they not? If you’ve grown tired - or if dancing just isn’t your thing - you might prefer to sit back and swap stories on one of the many driftwood log benches the robots have prepared for seating. Or, maybe you’d prefer to rough it for the night in one of the beachside canvas tents. Better claim one quick, though, or be prepared to share… there’s only one sleeping bag! N A V I G A T I O N |
Ace Attorney | Ema Skye
[ There's a lady in a lab coat scuttling around on the beach. When she spies a crab that looks like it could be easy prey, she pounces! And misses, plowing into the sand in a fine eruption of sand. Undeterred, she tries again and again, her already stormy expression managing to get darker (and sandier) with every fumbled catch and pinchy claw. ]
As if things couldn't get worse! First I wash up on some sci-fi fetish backwater, and now this. Crab-hunting for robots! Next they'll want me to take out their-- yeowch!
[ Yet another crab manages to pinch her. She snaps. ]
Gyyyaaaaaargh!!
[ In a massive effort, she shovels her hands into the sand and heaves it all up in a big shower -- along with all the little crabs that happened to be lounging there. Hopefully no one was standing too close, or they might get blinded by a cloud of sand and crabs... ]
[batman voice] kimmeh sent me
....Just kidding! Lys doesn't particularly mind sand, however unpleasant it feels to catch a sudden faceful of it. Coughing, spitting, wiping her face with the back of one hand, she does her best to clear away the grit until she can blink up at Ema from where she's sitting on the ground, perched on a flat rock.]
....I guess, uh, you're not in the mood for gumbo?
[It's said calmly, if with an undercurrent of uncertainty, as though she hasn't noticed the crab clinging painfully to her right ear by a pinching claw. Or the two crabs tangled in her hair.]
i've got something for her.......... slips u a used napkin
Hah! I've never been more in the mood for gumbo in my life! And you're going to help me make it.
[ Never mind that she wasn't thinking about gumbo even a little until this stranger mentioned it. This is her mission now!! ]
this has "you will die in seven days" written on it in ketchup??
Sure, that's easy! I already have a fire made.
[She pulls the crab off her ear (ow...) and drops it into her own bucket, followed by the stowaways in her hair.....then looks up at Ema again, vaguely apologetic.]
....we're definitely gonna need more crabs, though.
cause of death: kittens
... No problem! We need more crabs? I'll catch a hundred!
[ She turns and stalks off to catch said hundred crabs.
... Except. It's just a replay of what she was doing before Lys came into the picture. With a "Ha!" over here, a spectacular dive over there, and the occasional yelp, Ema gives it her all but seems utterly incapable of catching and keeping any crabs. She may very well keep doing this until she dies, we just don't know. ]
as she deserves
(Was this what other people felt when they saw her doing something admittedly pretty stupid??)
But that doesn't matter. Pulling her weight matters. And so she's up and trotting after Ema like a dutiful labrador — bucket out to catch the crabs sent flying through the air by the desperate maneuvers, scooping up the ones trying to scuttle off in the opposite direction.]
Hey, good job! We're catching tons of 'em this way!
[rah rah sisboom rah, you can do it yes you can]
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We are? ... So we are!
[ She shouldn't sound so shocked after confidently marching off the way she did, but Ema is nothing if not emotionally honest. Encouraged, she pushes up the sleeves of her coat and revs up for another round of assaults. ]
Okay! Let me know when we have enough!
[ Efficiency is not the name of this game, but they will have enough crabs eventually, probably ]
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AAAHH EMA!!
HEY!
[Sputtering, Apollo stumbles back a few steps, an arm belatedly raised over his face to protect his eyes from the spray. He ends up covered in both sand and crabs, the crawly little crustaceans making him jump and frantically scramble to brush them off of his shoulders and arms.]
Ema! Why are you attacking the wildlife?!
POLLY!! squishes ur cheeks...
They attacked me first!
[ This isn't technically or even spiritually true, but it's true in her heart. She slaps her hands free of sand and plants them on her hips before fixing a glare on Apollo like he just dumped a bottle of luminol down a drain. ]
And don't "Ema" me! Where have you been?!
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[Once Apollo's done with his shaking-crabs-off dance and is reasonably assured that he's rid himself of them all, he stops to take a deep breath. He's not that eager to argue with her, especially not when there's more important things to address.]
Did you wash up here like the other newcomers did? It's not normal, but there's not much about this place that's ever normal, exactly. It wasn't safe to be near the water a couple of weeks ago, but I guess it's fine now.
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Washing up on the beach is just about the most normal thing that's happened to me since I got here. First autonomous robots, then this perverted bracelet, and then that festival! I mean, really!
[ A glint of accusation enters her eyes. What she's accusing him of is anyone's guess. ]
Just how long have you been here? You seem a little too cozy with all this, if you ask me.
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That look from Ema alone is enough to make Apollo recoil.] I'm not cozy with anything! Just a little more used to it, I guess. It's been about two months for me.
So... I'm here if you have questions. Regular questions, [he quickly clarifies.]
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If you want me to ask regular questions, I'll have to know what constitutes as irregular. Elaborate, please. In scientific terms.
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i was going to make him cool but. he deserves this
he is unmistakable, though, despite seeming slightly more tired than usual and his once perfectly-spiraled hair being pulled into a loose, wavy ponytail over his shoulder. and he's in a cream-colored toga. there's that.
after that big spray of sand and crab, which all scuttle away at nightmarish speed back towards the water, he decides that he's left her to her own devices for long enough—
until one of the scurrying crabs gets him in the toe. klavier hops backward on one foot, reaching to hold his stinging toe and staunch the pain. ]
Ach! Get away from me! [ insert german expletive here. enjoy this while it lasts, ema. ]
he desERVeS ThIs
She starts running at him with even more crabs in her hands. And is that her drawing back an arm to throw one at him? Why yes, yes it is. ]
AKSJSKD
klavier's pain ebbs, and as he lets go of his aching toe and stands up tall, he smiles at her with genuine happiness. even while she's coming at him with a crab pulled behind her, ready for launch. ]
Ah, Fräulein Detective.
[ he sets a hand on his hip, standing casually as she menacingly approaches. ema! his favorite coworker! :) he raises his brows at her, but otherwise keeps beaming. there's no way she would throw crabs at him, so maybe she's just running funny. they're buddies! ]
I was surprised to see you here. And you've managed to capture them, I see! Very impressive.
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[ Ema skids to a stop.
She's leery of Klavier's stupid prettyboy rockstar face at the best of times, and this is very much nearing the worst of times. She eyes him suspiciously, lowering the crab she was just about to throw, but keeps both crabs raised defensively. She strafes from side to side in agitation, ready to physically dodge whatever annoying bull honky he's sure to spew her way.
Yes, she technically answers to him at work, but that's his fault for not getting her fired yet. He knows what she's like. ]
Prosecutor Gavin. I should've known you'd be involved in all this. [ A beat. ] You look awful, by the way.
[ Said as a matter of fact, not concern. ]
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...That's quite the interesting dance you're doing.
[ first off. there's no need to strafe!! he's not going to launch anything. he addresses her last comment next, taking a quick glance down at himself. ah. and then he smiles back up at her again, even laughing lightly, like she hadn't meant to call him ugly. ]
I'm afraid we are lacking many luxuries here on this island, as I'm sure you've come to understand. It's difficult to care for myself the same way I might have back home.
[ bc she isn't talking about the toga or his body, since he expertly wrapped the toga and he's been keeping himself fit. he can acknowledge that he looks more tired than usual and his hair is out of place, though! ]
But you believe I am involved in what's happening here, Fräulein? What makes you say that?
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I'm saying that you and my personal misery are handcuffed at the wrist! You may not be the cause of all this, but you being here is right in line with some cosmic running joke.
[ Though her malcontent around him has always been evident, she's being especially candid today. Probably because of all the little red pinch marks speckling her hands. And probably because they aren't in a work setting, which would normally lay a shade of a facade of a veneer of professionalism over her attitude.
Ugh. If only she had something aggressively crunchy to vent her frustration on. She glares at Klavier critically. ]
So this is what the amazing Klavier Gavin looks like when he has to rough it with the commoners, is it? Maybe I should take a picture. Hah! Something to ward off those girls always trying to trample my crime scenes.
[ She hopes his dumb unpampered face makes them cry!! ]
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kreb kreb kreb
The high-pitched shrieking has set his nerves ajangle for the past ten minutes, pressing creases into his forehead and a deep-seated frown onto his face. Has this woman no sense of timing or precision? Apparently not, judging from the way she keeps strutting around, sending sand flying every which way.
Fine. He'll lend her a hand.
Except in this case, the hand is actual a deft point of his gun, aimed at one particular crab scuttling towards her. Aim, pull, fire—and there goes another spray of sand right after a sharp gunshot, falling away to reveal a poor dead crab, a hole bored clean through the middle. ]
Shut your mouth. [ Ah, here comes the asshole perpetrator now, oversized gun slung over one shoulder. ] You'll never catch anything if you caterwaul like a dying cow.
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Are you crazy?! You can't just go around waving a gun like that all willy-nilly! We live in a society!
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Instead of acknowledging any of her protests - all extremely valid! - he toes at another crab. So many....for all his earlier showiness, he definitely can't rid the beach of all of them just by shooting at them.
So! ]
Get a net.
[ What. Was he listening to anything she said at all? ]
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Listen, you. We might be living out some sort of kinky convention nightmare, but you have to tone it down a notch. I mean, a tacky fantasy gun and cat ears? Make up your mind!
[ also she sneaks that dead crab into her bucket because that's free credits baby ]
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She can have it though, he's too busy bristling over these insults to his (furry) person. There is so much wrong with what she just said that he doesn't know where to start.
First of all: ]
They're not cat ears. [ Said cat ears twitch angrily. And second of all!! ] And Flamek isn't tacky.
[ Yes, the gun has a name. Yes, it's tacky as hell. But that's not the point here. ]
This gun has done more in two minutes than you have all morning.
[ Add 'creepy people watching' to his list of crimes, go ahead. ]
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