ercookies | TDM 010: PARTNER UP, PARTNER

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TDM 010: PARTNER UP, PARTNER

00. Arrival

This time, you come out of the water, the Nameless Island's own inherent energy drawing people in. It's like being suspended between realities and abruptly pushed from behind through a rift in dimensions. It may make you sick, or that might be the motion of the ocean, lifting you to the surface and carrying you to shore.

Waterlogged and covered in sand, new arrivals will be greeted by robots who welcome them with towels and bracelet devices. The A5 card is already loaded up. Feel free to explore the Island, though there isn’t much to see. Most of the buildings are abandoned and in dire need of repair, and beyond the city lingers a thick fog that obscures much of the wilderness from view. Wander too far into this fog, and you will find yourself mysteriously looping back to where you began, your memories of what you were doing and how you got there erased.

With that in mind, it may be wise to stake your claim on a rundown apartment, a tent on the beach, or a bed in the “comfortable” barracks. Your inventory will be found a day later, wrapped up haphazardly and delivered to each person's makeshift home.

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I. Laid Bare Basics

There is a new addition to the scenery at the beach, and everyone is welcome! Especially new arrivals, who will be ushered to the recently-established Laid Bare Spa, where (provided they don't slip away from the bots' helpful grasp) their uncomfortably wet, sandy clothing will be stripped away and they will be lovingly pampered by the cold metal hands of the resident robots. Long-time Islanders and newbies alike are welcome to enjoy such amenities as hot and cold baths, sauna rooms, scrub-downs, thorough whippings with birch brooms, skin treatments, massage and energy work, and more! All rooms are thoughtfully decorated with tasteful murals of naked and disrobing bodies.

Maybe you'll see someone you recognize?! (Maybe you'll see... you?)

Islanders who happen to find their clothing mysteriously missing are welcome to borrow a Laid Bare branded towel to cover up with on their way home.

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II. Tattoo to You, Too

The Augur understands that sometimes, it's difficult to find a partner to indulge you in those favorite Auspicious Acts - especially for new arrivals, but surely even long-time residents could benefit from a little assistance now and then. That is why ever-benevolent entity has gifted Her precious Islanders with tattoos which feature their most secret, urgent, and/or shameful of desires! (Even if that desire is to simply complete a Bingo.)

The tattoo may be a picture or a word, and it can appear anywhere on the body. At first it is pleasantly warm to the touch, like a soft glow of light on your skin. It soon becomes apparent - through either robot advice or a notification on your communication device - that your task is to find a match for your tattoo and complete the depicted act with that person. The longer one goes without completing the act, the more the tattoo seems to heat up, until it feels like it is burning into your skin.

Take too long, and the tattoo may become permanent. Otherwise, the tattoo will fade within hours of completing the Auspicious Act.

[ For TDMers: feel free to select any favorite kink for this prompt! If you complete a kink that doesn't appear on your card, you may switch one square for the completed kink. For current players: by participating on (tagging into) this TDM, you may switch one kink into your card (it must be the kink in the toplevel prompt you responded to). ]

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III. Creepy Crawly Caterpillar Crawl

Are you on the hunt for credits? Then have the robots got a task for you! The 'bots of the Nameless Island are recruiting Islanders to go bug collecting in the caves, crevices, and hollowed-out logs of the wilderness. The quarry? The (shudder - literally, the robots will shudder) doom-summoning harbinger bug. They describe these creepy creatures as fat, fuzzy, and rainbow-colored, with long, fluffy antennae that look like rabbit's ears.

The robots describe these critters as so dangerous that Islanders should only hunt them in pairs. Should your team return successful, you both will be rewarded very handsomely for every caterpillar caught!

The bugs are typically very docile and seem to enjoy soft pets, judging by the cooing and squeaking noises they make (especially to scritches behind their "ears"). Poke or disturb them however, and they may bite! Body parts bitten by angry caterpillars will swell up cartoonishly, and can only be treated by having someone else suck the venom out. Good thing you're traveling with a partner!

The 'bots strongly recommend against keeping these little buggies as pets, but they're not your dad.

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N A V I G A T I O N

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

00 - Arrival

Well that was certainly something. One minute he's pestering Linhardt to wake up and come get dinner with him and the next he's got a mouth full of seaweed and salt water. It's hard to actually surface at first, which was was up again? When he does get a breath of air, he sputters and coughs, rolling onto the (slightly less wet) sand.

"Pah- agh. Okay? Okay okay okay. Uhhhh." He sits up, emptying his armor of the pools of water and oh- there's a fish in there! Too little to eat, so back in the water it goes. "Liiiiiin? Helloooo? You warped me too far, buddy." It wouldn't be the first time he'd been zapped to a different location for annoying his friend when he was napping. It wouldn't be the fifth time or even the fifteenth if he was being honest.

"Wait a sec... this is....? Where? Anyone here?" He answers that when he turns a few circles and finds no one. Cupping his hands around his mouth to project his already too-loud voice. "HELLOOOOOOOOOOO!"

01 - Spa

Well, despite this place being a little wild, he can't really argue with this level of pampering. Quite the menu, and a lot of stuff he's never heard of. If he's going to be lost he might as well make the most of it! He gladly shrugged off his armor and clothes of cleaning, and given the choice, decided he simply would go without a towel. He hadn't seen human person here yet, and gladly went with the most comfortable option. Why bother with modesty when you're alone and probably going to be bathing anyways?

"Massages?!" He asks, delighted to himself as he reads things over. "Wow. I guess this is like a free vacation."

The weird murals don't see to phase him. It made sense. He had sided with the Kingdom when Edelgard had gone off the rails a little too hard, and they won. It makes sense that there would be some awesome paintings of Dimitri around. He quietly appreciates how fast they were able to produce them though... probably Ignatz's work, he decides, pleased with having deduced that all by himself.

02 - Tattoo (Feather play)

"Ow." He slaps at the irritating mark on his neck. "Ow." Again. The slapping doesn't seem to be alleviating the itch. That doesn't stop him from slapping it again. The clear feather-print. He had tried to ignore it at first, but he found it much harder as the day went on. It's starting to feel like a bug bite or a sun burn and now it's raw from scratching and fussing with it. What a strange sensation. Not wholly unpleasant but wow, he cannot get his mind off of it.

Far be it from him to be able to discern his deep desires. He would sit there all day, slapping, itching, muttering about it forlornly.

Edited 2021-02-19 00:53 (UTC)

This doesn't make any sense. Linhardt stares at his wrist. Almost everything else that's happened here makes at least some sort of vague sense, even if Linhardt can't translate what he's learned into terms most other people from Fodlan will understand.

But how does he even have a tattoo? Even if the Augur can give him one, he clearly wasn't conscious for the process, so shouldn't it have healed when he slept? Linhardt sighs and looks over his notes again. No. This doesn't make any sense.

One of the few advantages to using paper instead of the bracelets or a computer is that paper can be balled up and thrown in frustration. Just to make it clear that he is Not Amused by the Augur's subversion of his basic biology, Linhardt calls up a gust of wind to throw the paper at the speed he feels conveys his frustration.

The balled-up piece of paper bounces off someone's head, because of course it does. Goddess, that's not what he needs. A conversation. Wait. That's.

He actually stands up from his nap-and-study space to walk over to the head of bright hair that Linhardt is certain can't be who he thinks it is. Is it?

It is. That's Caspar. Well. Should he be glad or upset? Linhardt isn't entirely sure. After a second, he settles on: if Caspar has to be kidnapped, he's glad they're sharing the situation.

"As much fun as it is to watch you hit yourself, I don't think that's going to fix the situation." He announces his presence with the usual shake of his head, though he does reach out a now glowing hand to ease the redness around the tattoo on Caspar's neck even if he can't do anything about the underlying irritation.

"I took a nap and this still hurts." Linhardt shows his friend his own matching tattoo, "Is this what it's like to be you? You wake up aching all the time?"

No wonder others didn't understand his love of a good nap: Linhardt always woke up feeling rather amazing aside from the lingering drowsiness. Papercuts, hangnails, any of the bruises or muscle pain he's sustained if Caspar's dragged him into training... they all melt away after a proper sleep. Other people still hurt when they wake up? Linhardt had known this, but feeling it is something else entirely.

"Oh, I probably should have said hello and gotten information on your Fodlan first." Because while Linhardt will absolutely ignore etiquette, he rarely ignores good data collection opportunities.

Linhardt really is glad to see Caspar. A Caspar. Any Caspar. He can't imagine any Fodlan in which they aren't themselves.

Admittedly, this is really still very strange, and all things considered, Caspar was beginning to grow a little distressed that not everyone seemed to be there. Some general understanding of the situation was not going to stop him from at least trying to enjoy the good parts.

One of those good parts has just arrived.

"LINHARDT!" It is actually a huge relief to see the man who Caspar would consider his very best friend. He's used to his fussing, but his face still scrunches a little at the feeling of the healing magic on his neck. "Buddy! You're here!" It's comforting, and Caspar despite his infinite ability to simply exist in any situation, would have to admit he had been getting a little worried. "What are you talking about? I wake up feeling great most days. All that training you know? What's going on? What do you mean my Fodlan?"

The whole flurry of questions pour out and bounce off of his sleepy friend. He doesn't wait for answers, simply lifting him off his feet in a tight hug.

"Don't warp me this time okay? I won't squeeze too hard, promise!" He's squeezing too hard.

Edited 2021-02-19 15:46 (UTC)

So many questions and no time to answer. That's Caspar for you. The enthusiasm is familiar and comforting in a way that Linhardt can just now admit that he missed; so many others can be either too maudlin or too pretentious for his taste. But Caspar just... lives. That's what they have in common. So Linhardt can't be too upset about his feet suddenly resting on air; Caspar is simply following his own desires much as Linhardt follows his own.

"Caspar," He gasps out, "Breathing. We've discussed this. I need to breathe."

But if he wants to squeeze him a little less, the hug would be nice. Enough that Linhardt leans into the contact, resting his head on Caspar's and wrapping his arms around his shoulders. It's uncomplicated. A rarity both in Fodlan and in Erku.

"I'm glad to hear you sleep well. You know I heal myself in my sleep, this is the first time I haven't. It's horrible. The tattoo hurts."

As for what he means about his Fodlan... Linhardt hums. How to explain and ensure Caspar won't take off running on another tangent.

"What do you know about how and why we're here?"

"Oh- sorry bud." He releases the vice grip just slightly (he's not done hugging though), opting to swing Linhardt from side to side instead. At last, when he's satisfied, Lin is finally placed back down and released to be faced with a beaming Caspar once again.

The smile fades when he mentions the pain though, and he holds out his hand.

"Let me see it? Mine is kinda driving me crazy too. I know you're not supposed to itch it but it's really annoying. Maybe we can get you some ice somewhere for it?" For better or worse, he's easy to lead around a conversation. "Oh yeah I mean... kind of? I admit I wasn't super listening but they said something about like. Intimacy? Which is- hah I mean not exactly my area but I don't know. It's kinda weird, right?"

He allows the swinging. Just once. It's a special occasion, after all, when the one person you can always stand to be around shows up on the magical kidnapping island of erotic activities. And of course, said person being Caspar, he has not listened to a single word since he's gotten here.

Linhardt sighs. That sigh. The sigh of 'you can't always rely on me being around to explain things for you'. The sigh that Caspar counters with 'you can't always rely on me being around to protect you' and somehow ends up with him working. Ugh.

The man holds out his wrist for Caspar to examine although again, really? Linhardt is a healer, what are you going to see? Although now that Linhardt is looking again...

"Ours match. I wonder if others have the same tattoo. Or if they have different tattoos."

Right. Back to Caspar's complete inability to listen.

"Essentially we've been placed here under the assumption that we'll perform certain erotic activities in return for life necessities. It's very weird, Caspar. It makes no sense." And not in the fun way where Linhardt would follow up that sentence by babbling about his theories. In the way where Linhardt is looking into his best friend's eyes completely betrayed by the world because how dare it not make sense? How. Dare. It?

He knows that sigh. He knows it so well. It's like the whole conversation doesn't need to even happen because they both know how it will go in the end. A win for Caspar, as he would count it.

He takes Linhardt's wrist carefully in his hands, tipping it this way and that as he examines it very carefully.

"They match. That's kinda cool. Like friendship tattoos. Just wish they didn't hurt. Also I'd probably pick something cooler like an eagle with a skull or something like that. Yeah..." He stops to daydream about that briefly before going back to the matter at hand which is looking very closely at Linhardt's wrist.

"Yep." He says decisively before pulling it up and pressing a very firm kiss to it. It worked when they were kids, and he knows it certainly won't make the pain go away but at least maybe it will make him feel better.

"Haha, that's really weird and a little- no, VERY creepy. Do they like... watch or whatever?" Whoever they are. "Wait- Lin you haven't like. You know. Done it, have you?"

00. Arrival

I. Laid Bare Basics

II. Tattoo to You, Too

III. Creepy Crawly Caterpillar Crawl

Caspar Von Bergliez | Fire Emblem: Three Houses | OTA

02 Because obliviousness is fantastic and because Catnap is broken if you think about it for 2 sec

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01 because I just keep tagging the spa stuff ig

I am so sorry Ashe

he should have expected this

Undoubtedly yes

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00, gotta complete the set

THANKS DAD

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01

OOPS SORRY CONSTANCE

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I SNORTED

... ranking coming soon

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