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TDM 015: IT'S ALWAYS SUNNY IN PARADISE
| TDM 015: IT'S ALWAYS SUNNY IN PARADISE |
00. Arrival You come out of the water, the Nameless Island's own inherent energy drawing people in. It's like being suspended between realities and abruptly pushed from behind through a rift in dimensions. It may make you sick, or that might be the motion of the ocean, lifting you to the surface and carrying you to shore. Waterlogged and covered in sand, new arrivals will be greeted by robots who welcome them with towels and bracelet devices. The A5 card is already loaded up. If you don’t manage to get away from them quickly enough, they may even usher you toward the Laid Bare Spa, where new arrivals will be offered free massages, a sauna, hairstyling, and their clothing may come up permanently missing. But you will be given a complimentary towel to leave with if needed! Feel free to explore the Island, though there isn’t much to see beyond what arrivals before you have helped to rebuild. Most of the buildings are abandoned and in dire need of repair, and beyond the city lingers a thick fog that obscures much of the wilderness from view. Wander too far into this fog, and you will find yourself mysteriously looping back to where you began, your memories of what you were doing and how you got there erased. With that in mind, it may be wise to stake your claim on a place to live in the now, whether a rundown apartment in the City, a tent on the beach, a bed in the barracks, or your own space at the House of Worship. Your inventory will be found a day later, wrapped up haphazardly and delivered to each person's makeshift home. I. Beach Episode Welcome to your beautiful and sunny island paradise, Erku! ...wait, it's sunny? That's right! For about two weeks, the Island will enjoy unusually warm and clear weather, just perfect for enjoying the cool waters of the beach. Don't swim out too far, however, lest you stray into hazardous choppy waters or get lost in the fog that still lingers beyond the peaceful cove. Just stay close, and you're golden! Once again, friendly robots have erected beachside food stalls for grilling fish and crabs, and encourage any enterprising Islanders to help hawk foods for credits. If gutting and cleaning fish isn't your forte, however, never fear. The robots are recruiting for a very important task! You see, they have very thoughtfully set up swimming and snorkeling lessons for any Islanders who are doubting their skills at staying afloat, or who just want to have some fun in the waves. There is only one complication: the robots are too heavy to swim. Enter, you! Earn credits by instructing your fellow Islanders in the marvels of the ocean. Not just swimming and snorkeling, but also fishing, clam digging, and sand castle art - among other things - are valuable skills you can sell. II. Sand Sport For the more competitive sort, the robots of Erku are happy to share a bit of culture from the planet's ancient past: wet sand wrestling! Volunteers (or any innocent Islander roped off the beach by an enthusiastic 'bot) don their skimpiest swimwear and duke it out for dominance in the wet sand by trying to throw their opponent outside of a ring. Knock-outs count as an automatic lose, so be careful! Oh, and no worries if you aren't particularly strong. Before the match, competitors are offered a a special drink - simply named "The Creamy" - an ancient recipe which is said to temporarily increase your strength and vitality. One shot of this, and anyone could take on Goliath! (And not just in a fight.) By the way… those who lose the competition are mysteriously compelled to accompany the victor for the day, waiting on them hand and foot, anticipating and fulfilling their needs before they are spoken. Did the 'bots forget to mention that? III. Graciously Given Gifts While swimming in the nude is completely acceptable on the Island, the robots know that many residents still (for some reason) value their modesty. That is why they are happy to encourage beachside revelry and communion by making sure scanty swimwear is readily available to Islanders who are in need of something to cover up with - while still showing off your assets, of course. Islanders may purchase for themselves, but they are especially encouraged to gift swimwear to their fellow Islanders... in fact, any swimwear to be given as a gift is free! Not only is it a lovely gesture to let a friend or lover know you appreciate their body, but also, swimwear received as a gift is said to be very good luck in wet sand wrestling competitions. Naturally, the robots are sensitive to the emotional needs of their organic charges, and thus they wouldn't want any new, recent, or less personable arrivals to the Island to feel left out for not receiving gifts. That's why some Islanders will find surprise swimsuits in pretty gift wrap sitting on their literal or metaphorical doorstep… addressed with love from a random Islander! With thoughtfully written messages included, of course, usually complimenting the recipient's figure in graphic and/or poetic terms. If you have any manners, surely you'll find these mystery admirers and thank them for the lovely gift! (If you're really a person of culture, maybe you'll even show it off for them.) N A V I G A T I O N |
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As for his couch, Peter had a cottage he uses from time to time beside his apartment, which he now shares with Finn, so he could offer it to Trevor if the conversation goes well. Or he can always direct him to the free apartments in the House of Worships, thankfully they have better options than sleeping on top of rocks and ditches.
See, trevor havign no idea this is a sex island is exactly why Senku and Peter are working to implement a guide for the newcomers. It's almost all coded, they just need to bring it to the Augur and exchange a reward or something to try and install the guide among the bracelet offered apps. So far it's a work in progress but once it's done, it will help people who have no idea what is going on upon arrival.
"You really were thirsty. And it's no problem, man, we gotta help each other around here." He drinks his beer at a less rushed pace than his new friend and smiles behind the glass at Trevor's reaction. At the speed Trevor's eating, they will have to order more food soon. It's good that Peter thought about bringing enough credits.
"Hah, not quite, no. I'm more handsome than any corpse, come on...When I was resurrected, along with a bunch of other people, It was as if our deaths never happened in the first place. It's a long story that involved magic space rocks, you don't want to know about it. Have any of the robots mentioned where you are and what this place is about?"
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Oh, please, no. Never trust Trevor with real estate! The last time he stepped foot on family soil, he only went and bloody well ruined it with monster blood and rubble. Best not to leave him alone somewhere you value. The free apartments sound nice enough, though, he's used to being alone so the nose of other people living so close to him, might be rather unsettling to get used to. He's kinda a hermit these days.
Honestly, he would have probably just scoffed at the idea he was brought to a sex Island of all places. He was a monster hunter, not a lover! Still, if it means an easy life, he might be willing to go along with it for a while. But yes, having a few more details when he arrived might have made things less confusing.
"Still am." He said, raising his glass to one of the small mechanical waiters as they passed, signaling he wanted more alcohol. Narrowing his eyes as he leans in over the table a little towards Peter. "Help each other? Sure, but what's the catch?" There's always a catch, he knows that much. Perhaps Trevor could pay Peter back for the meal and the drinks when he starts earning credits of his own, that would be helping out a bro, right?
"I dunno, I've seen more attractive with less of a pulse before." A pause and a smile. "No offense." Grinning at Peter, it was just a playful dig, he wasn't attracted to the undead. Inhaling slowly through his nose and nodding after Peter said off of that. "Actually, strange space rocks sounds perfectly normal, all things considered. Hm? Oh, robots? Are those these guys?" Tapping his knuckles on one of the robot's heads as it zoomed past them, knocking off kilt for a moment as it spat out some annoying sounds at the Belmont before continuing on its way. "No. Why? What's the catch? We all turn into pumpkins at midnight or someshit?"
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In that case, he would direct Trevor to the free, public housing. Peter worked hard to get that cottage, he wanted to keep it in one piece and clean from any guts and blood. Being a monster hunter and being a lover weren't mutually exclusive, it was only a matter of giving it a try. Both jobs involved getting close and personal with someone else and then impaling them.
"Suit yourself, but I'll only buy you two more. Make them last this time." While he didn't mind sharing his gains, Peter was not made of money and he didn't like being taken advantatge of. Some weeks ago, he had to take some ridiculous and questionable jobs at the spa to earn the credits he had now, and that was an experience he wasn't too keen in repeating.
He had to stop himself from smiling further at the cynicism in Trevor's voice because it was all too familiar. He had also been waiting for the shoe to drop when he first got here, and he still didn't trust the Augur's intentions now, but that only motivated Peter to not be completely shitty towards other islanders.
"No catch, in my case, I like having someone to talk to." Peter misses hanging out with people for the sake of hanging out with people, with no ulterior motives or because he's trying to bed someone. Don't get him wrong, he was fine with the sex and no attachments, more so because he used it to cope with his own issues, but it could be tiring and shallow.
"But it's true that we don't wake up on the beach out of the blue, the Augur brought us here because it thinks we can help the planet heal and improve. And offense is still taken. Fuck you, I'm a delight." Peter scoffed, grinning back all the way to make it clear he wasn't in the least offended despite his rude words, and that he wasn't insulting Trevor seriously either. "Do you hang around gorgeous death people often, hm?"
Peter knows a soft-spoken, lovely guy with pink hair who makes tea out of corpses. He wouldn't be surprised at this point to discover that Trevor had weird hobbies and evne weirder friends. Pestering the nearby robot earned him a laugh from Peter, even as the poor thing moves away from them while sounding as irritated as this robot were capable of looking.
"Yes, the metal guys with the charming personalities are robots. They're not dumb, but they're not very useful either. And they like to play matchmaker because you see, the whole 'help us heal the planet' stuff the Augur promotes here is done by generating Eros energy. So, basically...fucking. You're now living in a sex island, congratulations."
He could sugar coat it, probably, but he wanted to see Trevor's reaction to the news and not beat around the bush.
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It's probably for the best. Though, don't be offended if he doesn't stay in one place for too long. Something about old habits dying last and all that. What a wonderful way of putting it? Both jobs involved getting close and personal with someone else and then impaling them. Trevor would have gotten a good laugh out of that statement had Peter voiced it out loud.
"What about an arm wrestle?" A spark of light in his piercing blue eyes as he leans over the table towards Peter. "If you win, it's just one more drink, if I win, you'll buy me at least 3 more. Deal?" He knows it's a bad deal, he's already setting himself up for a decline as he offered a hand across the table. God loves a trier and all that bullshit.
Trevor would just be happy to have a friend or two if that resulted in a little sex now and then, well, he'd just have to cross that bridge when he got to it wouldn't he? There are some underdeveloped feelings for people back in his world, he's not sure how he'd feel about laying with others when his heart is not in it. That's right if he's ever had a one-night stand, he was probably too drunk to even realize it was happening! "Well... Alright then, No-catch-Peter, I'll talk."
That made him laugh. Leaning back on his seat with a smile over his lips. Just watching Peter for a moment as he swore at him, it was nice, it reminded him of someone from home. He gets the feeling he'll get along just fine with this one. "You should see some of the vampires... If they weren't trying to enslave and eat all of humanity, then yes, yes I'd go there if you know what I mean?"
Making tea out for dead people sounds fucking disgusting! Is this friend of yours alright in the head? Maybe you shouldn't encourage that kinda behavior and take them to see a psychiatrist or something? Just saying.
Taking the fresh beer the little robot handed him and making a move to gulp a mouthful down already, as he continued to listen to Peter talk. Trevor coughed and choked on his beer as it was explained to him that he was expected to heal the planet with his cock?! The liquid went splashing back into the glass as he spluttered and tried to catch his breath. Waiting a moment before shrugging and downing the backwashed beer, it's not like he was going to waste it!. Catching his breath and raising a brow. "You can't be being serious... Right?"
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Peter made no promises. Perhaps Alucard would show up here one day and Peter will get to bother the dhampir in person. Until then, Trevor could relax.
He wouldn't be upset by Trevor changing places, he was free to do what makes him more comfortable. Peter understood how difficult it was to be grounded in one place for a long time. And if they got to know each other, chances were that Peter would say those sorts of jokes out loud in the future.
"That's a really shitty deal for me." Peter snorted, but then immediately added; "But fine, why not." He reached forward, not to take Trevor's hand but to slap it lightly in a hi-five of sorts, then he grabbed another piece of crab. "But...later. Let's finish eating first, I don't want to waste good food letting it all get cold."
Peter's priorities, witness them, Trevor. Even if he won the arm wrestling, he would probably get Trevor more beer. Besides, Peter didn't like to back off from challenges, even if they were stupid ones.
The blond grins back at seeing Trevor smile too, glad that his joke landed well. It was sometimes a hit or miss because there were people like Drax out there who didn't get sarcasm or irony.
"I do know what you mean. I haven't met any vampires, but plenty of the people who tried to kill me in the past were absurdly hot. All that attractiveness wasted on some evil bastards, it was heartbreaking." Some of the people who tried to kill him were also not evil, just pissed at him for one reason. Gamora had tried to steal from him and then kill him when they first met. Peter's life was never boring.
Making tea out of dead people is something Peter also finds questionable, don't blame him for Cadeuceus's taste, he's not drinking the tea! But to be fair, dead people are also not doing much with theri bodies, so they might as well become tea. The circle of life, or something like that.
Thanks to the gods they weren't arm wrestling yet because the last thing Peter wanted was Trevor spitting beer all over his face. Seeing him do that in his glass was also not a good show, and Peter scrunched up his nose when Trevor downed the glass again.
"Gross. But I guess that's the proper reaction to the news. And I wish I was kidding, but now. Apparently, when we have sex, we generate some sort of healing energy that powers the planet. I would call bullshit if I hadn't seen how it works firsthand. But don't worry, it's not an obligation to sleep around, you can just not do that."
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Trevor could do with some stability in his life, he'd just fight against it is all. Though, if they became closer friends in the future, Trevor would happily take the offer of staying at the cottage some time! If you can insult each other and still laugh about it later, then you're the kinda person he wants to be friends with.
Raising a brow as Peter seemed to go for it! Okay! Sure! Trevor blinked a few times, straightening his back, about to shake that hand until his own was slapped. Not really used to high fives and all, so he chuckled and copied Peter, grabbing a handful of food to soak up the alcohol in his stomach already. "It's a good deal for me. That's the main thing right?" He's a cheeky fucker.
They seem to have some similarities in them. Other than the glaringly obvious differences, such as Peter looked clean and smelt fucking wonderful! But yes, the jokes landed, it was refreshing, almost as refreshing as the beer, having someone to joke about with and so soon upon washing up on the beach. As much as he hated to admit it, Trevor enjoyed his little shit-slinging matches with Alucard.
" Tch, tell me about it." He laughed and sighed, looking a little sombre for a moment before tipping his tankard up and supping the last of his drink down with a muted burp. Sounds familiar... Sypha was more than capable of kicking Trevor's ass and she was stunning. God, he misses her already.
Actually, come to think of it, Trevor would rather the dead be made into tea than Night Creatures any day. This Tearomancer friend of Peter's might come in handy should a Forgemaster show up here.
Listen, he'd rather lose blood than lose a drop of alcohol okay. he's on his own here, it's the closest thing to comfort he has. He doesn't have a problem, you have a problem, shut up, you're not his dad! Oh god, he's got a problem, hasn't he?
"Sure this planet isn't just a feeding ground for an Incubus? Sounds kinda suspicious if you ask me. And highly fucking perverse." He tips the empty glass up above his lips, tapping the bottom to get every last drop out of it. "So what's the point in being here if not to generate cock energy? Can I just go home then? Say, sorry, not gonna shag around today, might as well put me back in the ocean."
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Even if Trevor didn't stay in one place for long, they could hang out, drink, play cards...whatever. Sometimes Peter missed having a buddy to simply hang out with. He would happily teach him all the modern slang and the gestures, like the hi five, and also tell him all about modern music.
He wasn't surprised by Trevor's confusion when he hi fived him, a lot of aliens had given Peter the same confused face when he's done similar things in the past. But the other man took it well, and they went back to eating for the time being.
"Hah. It's better to fight with a full stomach, anyway. If you die, at least you die well feed." Peter gave a casual smile as he nom-nom'd on another fish. He was a practical man to the core, during fights and in all aspects of human living, even with challenges.
It wasn't always possible in his line of work, they ran around and got shot at way too often, but Peter liked to stay clean and look nice for his partners. Living in Erku made it easier. He could take Trevor to the spa one day, left him there to relax, clean himself, and enjoy the terrible paintings on the walls.
Rocket and Peter have the 'pester each other constantly yet stay friends' dynamic down to an art. Trevor is less annoying than the raccoon (so far), he's sure they will get along well.
"Don't worry, there's plenty of not evil people here that are very nice to look at." If Gamora were here, she and Sypha probably would have gotten along too. Two badass ladies with humans disasters as partners? They could have shared plenty of stories.
Peter didn't know what a Forgemaster or a Tearomancer are but any profession that ended in '-were' was usually trouble. And yes, Trevor might have a tiny bit of a problem, just a smidge. But hell if Peter was going to judge other people's coping mechanisms, he had some pretty destructive ones himself.
"Hm...hard to tell now that you mention it, we don't really know what the Augur is. But no one actively hurts us, and as I said, it's not an obligation to sleep with people. Nothing happens if you don't, no punishments or something worse. But if you fulfill your A5 card, you can exchange the checked off squares for rewards." Peter laughed at 'cock energy' because he was a 10 years old at heart, and then pointed at Trevor's bracelet. He wondered if the man even noticed it was there. "Have you checked what you've got?"
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Oh man, if Peter got Trevor talking like some modern chap it would be hilarious! He'd be like such a stuffy dad, trying to sound cool and edgy and totally not pulling it off! As for the music, might take some convincing and a lot of beer, he's not normally one to indulge in such things, never had the time to really. The high five was a start! Break him in slow, Peter, he's got a lot of catching up to do!
"I actually disagree with that." Stuffing more into his mouth, like he was competing with Peter already. Force of habit really, when you don't know where your next hot meal is coming from. "Ever been punched in the stomach so hard you throw up all your meat and bread? Well, I have." Giving a sage nod, before opening his mouth, a small mouthful of chewed food on his tongue. Very immature, Trevor.
Take him to the spar and he will fucking love you forever! Trevor Belmont hasn't had a hot bath in, God, it's probably close to a decade now, isn't it? Whereas smelling like a horse stable is often a good deterrent to keep people away who might wish ill of his family name, it's probably not going to get him laid in this place, is it?
If this Rocket chap ever shows up, Peter needs to introduce them! He's never had an animal friend before, there was a squirrel once but it buggered off when the Nitch Creatures started to come in waves.
"Still trying to get my head around it, honestly." Nodding with a small, nervous smile. Maybe the beer was finally starting to take its hold on him? Causing him to be more loose-lipped than normal. "So, I'm here, away from my super important role back home, to basically get my dick wet and save the world?" He laughs and leans back on the seat. "Okay then, you can tell that to Sypha if she ever shows up." He doesn't like the idea of being castrated by her thank you very much.
The warm bosom of alcohol has got the Belmont through many a cold night, he'd feel rude breaking up with his addiction just now! But maybe if it gets out of hand, he'd actually welcome Peter stepping in and helping him sober up.
"I dunno, Peter. I can't just blindly trust some Gods have my best interests in mind. For one, they kidnapped us all, kinda sketchy to start off with. And then call giving up back our own bloody belongings a 'reward' sounds like slavery to me." Don't mind him, the religion is like an ex-girlfriend of his, there's still bad blood between them. When the A5 Card is mentioned, Trevor lifts his arm letting his bracelet dangle. "The fuck didn't that come from?" Giving it a juggle as it activated. "I have no idea what's going on..."
Peter could feel free to do whatever needed to be done to get the information he was talking about, but Trevor was lost. Reading wasn't his strongest trait.
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Listen and learn, friend. Peter will happily impart all his knowledge on Trevor and teach him the best 80s' lingo like 'Radical' and 'Tubular AF', as well as all sorts of alien swearing words. It would be awesome. Trevor would be able to get on everyone's nerves just by maxim them up and repeating them wrong.
If Peter noticed Trevor eating at an alarming rate, he wasn't too bothered. He had credits and food at home, while Trevor was new here and had none of the sort. It would be a dick move to complain about the obviously hungry man trying to eat as fast as possible.
Peter scrunched up his nose at both the mental image of throwing up and at Trevor opening his mouth. Yeah, he was no longer hungry. With a sigh, he gave in and pushed the plate even closer to Trevor after grabbing one last crab leg to munch on.
"Can't say I did, but I lost count of how often people had tried to knee me in the balls." And a few succeeded, especially Gamora. Why people (or occasionally confused friends) always went for that soft part of his body was beyond Peter. It was unsportsmanlike, he really wished they didn't.
If it was really been that long, then Trevor is due for a hot, relaxing bath. Smelling better than horses is a bit of a must around here if one wanted to get laid, not like Trevor was concerned about that right now, being new and all.
The world was probably not ready for Rocket and Trevor meeting, and the shenanigans they could get up to together. Peter's blood pressure was not ready for such a thing.
"That's understandable. The first weeks here, I thought I was just going through some sort of hungover-induced dream. And Sypha is...? Your girlfriend? Wife? Friend with benefits?"
At that, Peter gave a small amused grin followed by another understanding nod. A strong girlfriend with a temper was something he was familiar with. If Gamora were here, she wouldn't like this place one bit. But IF Gamora were here, Peter wouldn't look at anybody else, and he wouldn't need to use sex as means to survive. He would probably also cry a lot upon seeing her again, but that was neither here nor there.
"Oh, I don't trust any of them either. I've met plenty of gods in the past, one of them is even part of my team back home. They're always trouble." But they weren't all completely horrible. Thor and Peter argued nonstop, yet the God of thunder did the right thing when it mattered and never hurt people who didn't deserve it despite being one of the strongest beings in the universe. Credit where credit was due.
"Easy, there. Don't worry, it's just fancy tech..." Peter put a hand on Trevor's forearm, aiming for comfort, as he took a look at his A5 card. "See the listed kinks? If you do anything that appears on the card, it counts as an action that can be exchanged by a reward."
Lifting his own arm, Peter tapped the bracelet and his A5 card came into view.
"See, we both have dirty talk and hair pulling..." Peter pointed to the right squares on Trevor's screen. "Lets' says we mess around, and you end tugging at my hair, or I did that to you...then you could check off that square and ask for something in return. More quality booze, for example."