ercookies | TDM 015: IT'S ALWAYS SUNNY IN PARADISE

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TDM 015: IT'S ALWAYS SUNNY IN PARADISE

00. Arrival

You come out of the water, the Nameless Island's own inherent energy drawing people in. It's like being suspended between realities and abruptly pushed from behind through a rift in dimensions. It may make you sick, or that might be the motion of the ocean, lifting you to the surface and carrying you to shore.

Waterlogged and covered in sand, new arrivals will be greeted by robots who welcome them with towels and bracelet devices. The A5 card is already loaded up. If you don’t manage to get away from them quickly enough, they may even usher you toward the Laid Bare Spa, where new arrivals will be offered free massages, a sauna, hairstyling, and their clothing may come up permanently missing. But you will be given a complimentary towel to leave with if needed!

Feel free to explore the Island, though there isn’t much to see beyond what arrivals before you have helped to rebuild. Most of the buildings are abandoned and in dire need of repair, and beyond the city lingers a thick fog that obscures much of the wilderness from view. Wander too far into this fog, and you will find yourself mysteriously looping back to where you began, your memories of what you were doing and how you got there erased.

With that in mind, it may be wise to stake your claim on a place to live in the now, whether a rundown apartment in the City, a tent on the beach, a bed in the barracks, or your own space at the House of Worship. Your inventory will be found a day later, wrapped up haphazardly and delivered to each person's makeshift home.

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I. Beach Episode

Welcome to your beautiful and sunny island paradise, Erku! ...wait, it's sunny? That's right! For about two weeks, the Island will enjoy unusually warm and clear weather, just perfect for enjoying the cool waters of the beach. Don't swim out too far, however, lest you stray into hazardous choppy waters or get lost in the fog that still lingers beyond the peaceful cove. Just stay close, and you're golden! Once again, friendly robots have erected beachside food stalls for grilling fish and crabs, and encourage any enterprising Islanders to help hawk foods for credits.

If gutting and cleaning fish isn't your forte, however, never fear. The robots are recruiting for a very important task! You see, they have very thoughtfully set up swimming and snorkeling lessons for any Islanders who are doubting their skills at staying afloat, or who just want to have some fun in the waves. There is only one complication: the robots are too heavy to swim.

Enter, you! Earn credits by instructing your fellow Islanders in the marvels of the ocean. Not just swimming and snorkeling, but also fishing, clam digging, and sand castle art - among other things - are valuable skills you can sell.

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II. Sand Sport

For the more competitive sort, the robots of Erku are happy to share a bit of culture from the planet's ancient past: wet sand wrestling! Volunteers (or any innocent Islander roped off the beach by an enthusiastic 'bot) don their skimpiest swimwear and duke it out for dominance in the wet sand by trying to throw their opponent outside of a ring. Knock-outs count as an automatic lose, so be careful! Oh, and no worries if you aren't particularly strong. Before the match, competitors are offered a a special drink - simply named "The Creamy" - an ancient recipe which is said to temporarily increase your strength and vitality. One shot of this, and anyone could take on Goliath! (And not just in a fight.)

By the way… those who lose the competition are mysteriously compelled to accompany the victor for the day, waiting on them hand and foot, anticipating and fulfilling their needs before they are spoken. Did the 'bots forget to mention that?

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III. Graciously Given Gifts

While swimming in the nude is completely acceptable on the Island, the robots know that many residents still (for some reason) value their modesty. That is why they are happy to encourage beachside revelry and communion by making sure scanty swimwear is readily available to Islanders who are in need of something to cover up with - while still showing off your assets, of course. Islanders may purchase for themselves, but they are especially encouraged to gift swimwear to their fellow Islanders... in fact, any swimwear to be given as a gift is free! Not only is it a lovely gesture to let a friend or lover know you appreciate their body, but also, swimwear received as a gift is said to be very good luck in wet sand wrestling competitions.

Naturally, the robots are sensitive to the emotional needs of their organic charges, and thus they wouldn't want any new, recent, or less personable arrivals to the Island to feel left out for not receiving gifts. That's why some Islanders will find surprise swimsuits in pretty gift wrap sitting on their literal or metaphorical doorstep… addressed with love from a random Islander! With thoughtfully written messages included, of course, usually complimenting the recipient's figure in graphic and/or poetic terms.

If you have any manners, surely you'll find these mystery admirers and thank them for the lovely gift! (If you're really a person of culture, maybe you'll even show it off for them.)

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N A V I G A T I O N

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"Is that a common threat here?" If so, maybe Felix can earn credit with his sword instead of with his...well, sword. Ugh, great, this place is already bringing out the little Sylvain voice that lives in his brain.

He peers at the camera lens, but has no real idea what he's looking at. "That's fine. I don't need details. I just need to know how to use it."

He continues rubbing the lotion into his skin, despite the sand he's already covered with making it feel disgustingly gritty. He shifts position so he can get at his legs next.

The next time their eyes meet it's clear that she is aware of his abrupt realization. There's nothing personal about his flushed cheeks, she knows -- she has had a year to reluctantly grow accustomed to the potential for sheer physical response -- but a faint twinge of pink blooms in her own face as well. Even though she is not as repressed as she was on arrival, he is not someone she has grown less repressed with.

It's awkward to be mostly skin-to-skin like this, more awkward still to discover his arm twining around her waist with purpose, but none of that matters as long as she has the challenge in front of her. She has the span of about two heartbeats to realize what he means to do, and the truth is that she has very little experience with attempted headbutts. If she had her headpiece on it would be much riskier for him.

The hand that doesn't have his arm trapped rises to catch his chin and turn it aside but that doesn't stop their heads from striking off-center, breath pushing audibly past her lips. The impact halts her progress, forces her to blinkblinkblink, and she does the first thing to come to mind, given their entanglement: her knee hikes sharply into his crotch.

"Monsters? They're not common too near the city, but the further afield you go, the more of an issue they become. I've been using them to keep Pebbles fed." Not an especially lucrative practice, but convenient, at least--and far less expensive than attempting to buy that much meat. Even one wyvern is a significant investment to take care of.

"Once you get past how strange it is, they're simple enough to use. It's easiest to just think of them like an odd sort of bulletin board." A magical, imaginary bulletin board accessed by using a bracelet, but..... well. The network is close enough to one, isn't it? A communal space for sharing information and getting others' attention?

It’s not pity at all that drives Ashe to ask - he loves cooking for his friends, and especially in this place, knowing where your food comes from means a lot.

“You’re welcome! Do you want to stay here and keep cutting fruit while I go cook? Or would you like to come with me?”

He can do this however Felix prefers.

"Why not, don't they fit?"

It only seemed fair that if she's stuck with a swimsuit that seems to be barely hanging on then he should as well. She'd been here too long to have much empathy left for new arrivals. They would have to learn one way or another. If the robots saw them enjoying their new swimwear then it may spare them from being bothered or so she hoped.

I'll pass on the drowning.

[ Julieta glances skeptically at the gear. This is apparently what she signed up for so she's not backing out. It's a chance to try something new and meet someone new. Both things she hasn't been doing much of lately. However this is supposed to work she's ready to watch and learn. ]

Is this some kind of fetish?

On the other hand, after coming out a world of constant world, LB was just happy to be in a place that was comparatively peaceful. Thus, she was enjoying her day on the beach, not looking the least bit self-conscious in a chain strap bikini top with a beach wrap for the bottom. But even if she had her fun in the water, the various stands around were a lot more interesting as she flitted around from one person to another, her curiosity overflowing as she wanted to see what everyone's skills were.

However, coming across an unfamiliar woman's stand, LB looked positively fascinated as she glanced upon the knife contraption made from what looked to be a crab's claw? A low, compulsive laugh passed as she listened to the other woman speak, tilting her head for a moment before responding. There were a couple of things that caught her interest, but first off:

"You made that out of an animal?" There's no accusatory tone here, she was genuinely impressed!

Wufei had learned well enough by now that dignity, like so many rare things, was worthless here. That didn't mean he didn't value what little he had, but rather...

...Listen, sometimes it's just not worth fighting the robots, alright? Besides, he likes fighting. And after this long, it's not as if he's skin-shy, with little to hide and nothing to be ashamed of. And he has always wanted to fight Heero, this being... well, a form of combat, after a sort. In the typical vein of the island, to be sure.

The lies one tells oneself, to stay sane.

Wufei regards his opponent over the battlef— the sandspit. The cordoned off section of sand serving as the arena of... well, not honor, though perhaps the opposite. Debauchery? Acquiescence? Complete time-wasting foolishness on the seaside, and—

Anyways, he faces his opponent; calm, clear-eyed, and ready, "Well, shall we?"

"You ain't never heard of guns before?" Nico asked, genuinely shocked. Even kids knew about guns. They were some of the most beautiful kinds of weapons around.

"Guns are ranged weapons. Dependin' on the model you can hit a fly off a wall from a mile away," she explained. "Some are made for close range, others for clearin' rooms of people with just a few shots. They can be small enough to hide in tha palm of your hand or big enough that they need ta be mounted on somethin' to be useful."

"Ya. It ain't much. The people here won't let me set up a proper shop cause I only just 'arrived'," she said, using her fingers to make air quotes when she said arrived. "I ain't got the cash to rent a place or get proper supplies. Hell, I ain't even got my van."

The van wasn't much, but it was her workshop on wheels. She didn't have any proper tools or materials to make any real weapons. And she wasn't quite sure if they would get taken away or not. "I was just tryin' ta see what I could do with limited supplies. I ain't even got any good demon bits to use."

"So do I. But he usually turns out to be right in the end." If he picked up on any humor in what Linhardt said, he doesn't show it. But it does make him wonder--since when is Linhardt on such good terms with the Archbishop's right hand? They had to have been enemies in the Fodlan Linhardt comes from, right? There's no way Seteth would turn on his own sister. Hmm.

"Huh. So she isn't really a 'Child of the Goddess' after all." Not that it makes much difference.

"Flayn is here as well? It's a shame I didn't see her earlier. She would have enjoyed the fruit slicing, I'm sure." Strange as she is, Flayn has a lot of wise things to say, just like her br--her father. Felix just had to cut through a pile of frivolous chores to find it. ...literally.

"I'll ask them, then. But what do you mean, human affairs? Are the saints not human?" They look human enough to him...

"It's probably best to learn about this place before trying to figure out how to get home. Though, this isn't too bad. Its better than constant darkness at least," she said with a slight shake of her head. She made good money in the darkness as a mercenary.

Seeing the sun again was nice, even if it did sting her eyes. "I don't really trust the things that run this place."

She quickly turned to Prompto, smiling at the familiar voice. "I washed up a few hours ago. I've only been able to get my armor stored. I know how to swim, but trying to do so in armor isn't the best of ideas."

It was good to see the photographer. It meant that she could trust at least one person in this place. "So is his highness here as well? Or just the two of us?"

"So we aren't like, fighting our way out guns blazing. ...uh, good, I'm not any help there." SOME people here are apparently video game characters or something. "But uh, yeah, I don't trust kidnappers much either."

...oh, she knows. She did it on purpose, didn't she? Felix is not someone accustomed to thinking with his nethers; this is not a strategy he's ever had to consider countering before. The flush in his face deepens slightly with the embarrassment of realizing how easily she played him, but he catches the pink in her cheeks too, and takes it as a bit of consolation; either she's embarrassed at having done it, or she's affected by him as well. He's satisfied with either.

Still, the fight's not over, and now that he's aware of what she's doing, he ought to be able to better ignore it. (...maybe. Turns out, the Adrestian Emperor shoving her leg between a man's thighs is pretty hard to ignore. But he's fought through worse distractions before. He can handle a little...incidental fondling.)

The headbutt doesn't go exactly as planned, but it still stops her in her tracks. Felix is already shifting his weight to follow up on it when he's suddenly flooded with pain so intense he hardly registers what happens at first, even as he cries out and practically collapses against her.

...of course, after a second it's excruciatingly obvious what happened, but that doesn't make it any better. Unless she bothers to catch him, he lurches forward onto his knees in the wet sand and tries not to vomit.

Belatedly, he realizes the fight still isn't over, although it soon will be if he doesn't do something about it. The best he can manage is to stagger halfway to his feet and lunge at her knees in a last-ditch attempt to knock her over.

Finishing up with his legs, Felix coats his fingertips with lotion and carefully rubs it over his face. This is even less pleasant because now he's also getting it all over his hair, but at this point he's beyond caring.

"In that case, I'll work as a mercenary or gamekeeper." No need to engage in any of this other nonsense, obviously.

"A bulletin board." He's skeptical, but at least it somewhat clears up the thing's communication function. "All right..." Once he's done with his face, he finally relents and puts the bracelet on. "So it's a bulletin board, a messenger bird, a scribe with pictures, and a coin purse. Anything else?"

By way of response, Felix tosses the watermelon into the sand and sheathes his sword. "With you."

Preferably as quickly as possible.

"I must admit, I had not realized you were interested in animal husbandry. But if that is what you've decided on, then by all means, I encourage you to pursue it. Helping this island's wildlife repopulate is important work." There's seldom any call for mercenaries around here, but a gamekeeper..... They would surely all rest a little easier, if they knew they could rely on food that didn't come from the robots.

Still..... isn't it a little funny how readily he thinks of breeding animals, when he's so flustered by the idea of the robots asking them to have sex? Maybe it really is all just a matter of perspective. "No, I think you have the right of it. If you turn around, I can take care of your back."

"I'm not. But if I'm going to bother procuring my own meat, and I need credits to do whatever it is people do around here," (that isn't sex) "then making both of those easier at once seems only natural." Does he know the first thing about animal husbandry? No. But how hard can it be to raise deer or pheasants the same way you'd raise cats? Better to be surrounded by animals than people, at any rate.

Felix turns around before he fully registers what exactly Seteth's suggested, and it's not until he has his back to the man already that he blinks. More...touching. Were they at home, he'd simply turn the offer down and go try to take care of it himself. If he missed a few spots, well, too bad.

But dammit, everything hurts and the lotion is helping. And he can hardly change his mind now, it would make him look...skittish.

So he just sits there, resting his elbows on his knees, and waits.

"Sometimes." He waves a hand in the air to indicate that sometimes he thinks Seteth is correct. Fundamentally, he and Seteth disagree on many issues but they realize that a.) those issues aren't of any practical concern in Erku and b.) they're the only ones who understand those issues enough to disagree on them. There's a camaraderie in that.

"A grandchild, technically. Interesting to consider Sothis as a grandmother. It doesn't really seem to suit her." At least based on his understanding.

Now it's Linhardt's turn to give Felix a blank look. Fruit slicing? Then again, he hadn't talked to Flayn since leaving the academy and in his Fodlan, she's dead. So there's that.

He pinches the bridge of his nose and closes his eyes. Really, Felix. They're literally the children of a Goddess and thousands of years old. How would they be human? Sylvain must be the brains of that duo; Linhardt never talked with either of them much.

"They're not. Rhea and Seteth are dragons. Indech is more like a turtle? I have drawings from after we found him if you'd like to look. But they can change forms to look like us. Please be delicate if you raise this matter with Seteth: It's a source of emotion for him. Be clear it doesn't matter."

Does it? Hopefully not.

Ashe wrinkles his nose a bit, then bends down and hefts the watermelon, dusting sand off the rind. There’s no way he’s wasting perfectly good fruit!

“Alright then, let’s go!”

He’ll lead Felix back toward his apartment. It’s small, but nice enough.

A shadow passes over his face briefly at the mention of Noctis, but then he brightens up again.

“Afraid it’s just us. But man, you have no idea how glad I am to see you.”

He bounds closer, all smiles. Given her friendly reaction, he assumes she remembers what he remembers, which means he isn’t about to get his head sliced off. Excellent.

“I guess you already got the rundown, huh?” He hopes she did. He isn’t explaining sex bingo to Aranea.

The leg truly was between his to trip him up, and it accomplished that. Any fluster that resulted was incidental, but something she was prepared to benefit from. What happens sets a few nearby robots into motion, one zooming over to the beachside bar to fetch a bag of ice, and another approaching the side of their ring as if to supervise, a signal that this is not exactly how sand wrestling is meant to go. The only rule she heard at any point was no knocking out and going for a headbutt seems a bit more likely to lead to that possibility, in her opinion, but it's true that she sees nothing arousing about someone staggering in pain.

Yet even now Felix is stubborn. He does not quit. In that regard he makes her think just a bit of the far more boisterous Caspar.

His lunge makes her take two steps back, but she hooks her arms under his and while she may not have Blaiddyd strength she coaxes him more or less upright, walking him backward over the edge of the ring. She can't imagine that he wants her touching him at the moment -- if ever again -- and she's quick to separate once they cross.

The robot returning with ice for Felix advises them to immediately take a dip in the healing waters of the bathhouse to care for any injuries they may have, noting that the trolley or a nearby robothorse-drawn carriage can have them there in minutes.

She doesn't apologize but she does offer a confirmation, still suspecting that this Felix is not the same one she last saw. "The robots are not exaggerating. The water in the bathhouse is known to heal minor injuries. It will help."

[A year.

Yeah, that tracks. She doesn't challenge it past Laurent's own smug face, the rest of the sentence fading to the buzzing of disinterest in her brain. A year holed up in here doesn't exclude the possibility--or threat--of French the Man cooking something.]

Ew. Why would I want that?

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TDM 015: IT'S ALWAYS SUNNY IN PARADISE

00. Arrival

I. Beach Episode

II. Sand Sport

III. Graciously Given Gifts

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II. Wet Sand Wrasslin'

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