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TDM 015: IT'S ALWAYS SUNNY IN PARADISE
TDM 015: IT'S ALWAYS SUNNY IN PARADISE |
00. Arrival![]() You come out of the water, the Nameless Island's own inherent energy drawing people in. It's like being suspended between realities and abruptly pushed from behind through a rift in dimensions. It may make you sick, or that might be the motion of the ocean, lifting you to the surface and carrying you to shore. Waterlogged and covered in sand, new arrivals will be greeted by robots who welcome them with towels and bracelet devices. The A5 card is already loaded up. If you don’t manage to get away from them quickly enough, they may even usher you toward the Laid Bare Spa, where new arrivals will be offered free massages, a sauna, hairstyling, and their clothing may come up permanently missing. But you will be given a complimentary towel to leave with if needed! Feel free to explore the Island, though there isn’t much to see beyond what arrivals before you have helped to rebuild. Most of the buildings are abandoned and in dire need of repair, and beyond the city lingers a thick fog that obscures much of the wilderness from view. Wander too far into this fog, and you will find yourself mysteriously looping back to where you began, your memories of what you were doing and how you got there erased. With that in mind, it may be wise to stake your claim on a place to live in the now, whether a rundown apartment in the City, a tent on the beach, a bed in the barracks, or your own space at the House of Worship. Your inventory will be found a day later, wrapped up haphazardly and delivered to each person's makeshift home. I. Beach Episode![]() Welcome to your beautiful and sunny island paradise, Erku! ...wait, it's sunny? That's right! For about two weeks, the Island will enjoy unusually warm and clear weather, just perfect for enjoying the cool waters of the beach. Don't swim out too far, however, lest you stray into hazardous choppy waters or get lost in the fog that still lingers beyond the peaceful cove. Just stay close, and you're golden! Once again, friendly robots have erected beachside food stalls for grilling fish and crabs, and encourage any enterprising Islanders to help hawk foods for credits. If gutting and cleaning fish isn't your forte, however, never fear. The robots are recruiting for a very important task! You see, they have very thoughtfully set up swimming and snorkeling lessons for any Islanders who are doubting their skills at staying afloat, or who just want to have some fun in the waves. There is only one complication: the robots are too heavy to swim. Enter, you! Earn credits by instructing your fellow Islanders in the marvels of the ocean. Not just swimming and snorkeling, but also fishing, clam digging, and sand castle art - among other things - are valuable skills you can sell. II. Sand Sport![]() For the more competitive sort, the robots of Erku are happy to share a bit of culture from the planet's ancient past: wet sand wrestling! Volunteers (or any innocent Islander roped off the beach by an enthusiastic 'bot) don their skimpiest swimwear and duke it out for dominance in the wet sand by trying to throw their opponent outside of a ring. Knock-outs count as an automatic lose, so be careful! Oh, and no worries if you aren't particularly strong. Before the match, competitors are offered a a special drink - simply named "The Creamy" - an ancient recipe which is said to temporarily increase your strength and vitality. One shot of this, and anyone could take on Goliath! (And not just in a fight.) By the way… those who lose the competition are mysteriously compelled to accompany the victor for the day, waiting on them hand and foot, anticipating and fulfilling their needs before they are spoken. Did the 'bots forget to mention that? III. Graciously Given Gifts![]() While swimming in the nude is completely acceptable on the Island, the robots know that many residents still (for some reason) value their modesty. That is why they are happy to encourage beachside revelry and communion by making sure scanty swimwear is readily available to Islanders who are in need of something to cover up with - while still showing off your assets, of course. Islanders may purchase for themselves, but they are especially encouraged to gift swimwear to their fellow Islanders... in fact, any swimwear to be given as a gift is free! Not only is it a lovely gesture to let a friend or lover know you appreciate their body, but also, swimwear received as a gift is said to be very good luck in wet sand wrestling competitions. Naturally, the robots are sensitive to the emotional needs of their organic charges, and thus they wouldn't want any new, recent, or less personable arrivals to the Island to feel left out for not receiving gifts. That's why some Islanders will find surprise swimsuits in pretty gift wrap sitting on their literal or metaphorical doorstep… addressed with love from a random Islander! With thoughtfully written messages included, of course, usually complimenting the recipient's figure in graphic and/or poetic terms. If you have any manners, surely you'll find these mystery admirers and thank them for the lovely gift! (If you're really a person of culture, maybe you'll even show it off for them.) N A V I G A T I O N |
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Still..... isn't it a little funny how readily he thinks of breeding animals, when he's so flustered by the idea of the robots asking them to have sex? Maybe it really is all just a matter of perspective. "No, I think you have the right of it. If you turn around, I can take care of your back."
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Felix turns around before he fully registers what exactly Seteth's suggested, and it's not until he has his back to the man already that he blinks. More...touching. Were they at home, he'd simply turn the offer down and go try to take care of it himself. If he missed a few spots, well, too bad.
But dammit, everything hurts and the lotion is helping. And he can hardly change his mind now, it would make him look...skittish.
So he just sits there, resting his elbows on his knees, and waits.
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A quick squirt, and then Seteth starts gently rubbing the lotion into Felix's shoulders and back. More touching, yes--but he can hardly be blamed if it's to take care of an injury, right?
Let yourself get taken care of for once, you little shit."Ah, I almost forgot--once you get more comfortable using the bracelet, you'll probably want to rewrite the information it shows for you. The golems take it upon themselves to write it for us, and they tend to...... well. The results are rarely flattering."It's the politest way he can think of to say 'your profile is going to be full of slanderous, horny bullshit.' Good luck with whatever shitpost you're saddled with, Felix.
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Getting taken care of sounds like quitter talk."What? What information, how do they even know anything about us?"
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Whatever angle the robots take for Felix, he highly doubts the man will want to allow it to stay up for any longer than necessary. It's sure to be embarrassing, after all--even for someone who has as little to hide as Felix seems to. What will he have to endure, an entire profile full of sword innuendos?
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No doubt Seteth will argue with him over that, but hell if Felix is going to act like he intends to be here any longer than he has to be. Or 'settle in,' or whatever the rest of them have resigned themselves to.
...but one detail sticks in Felix's mind, and after a moment, he asks: "What do you mean by 'oversharing?'"
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Their very survival is only assured by the grace of the locals. Finding enough food, clean water, and safe shelter independently would be hard enough, now that the island is finally beginning to recover--but before all this progress? It would have ben impossible. The Augur is the one who dragged them into this mess to begin with, and the one sustaining them through it. No matter how many people from Fodlan are already here, sticking only to them simply isn't enough. Surely he must realize that, no matter how stubborn he wants to be over this ordeal?
"I mean sharing details of your life that most would prefer to keep private. Your unspoken feelings, dark secrets, or sexual or romantic proclivities, for example."
The Augur is Gossip Girl, pass it on.no subject
"This isn't war, Seteth. It isn't even Faerghus. I'll admit, it was...useful, to have several people I already knew here on the beach. But when it comes to survival, this is hardly the worst any of us have had it." He turns his head the slightest fraction, not enough to glance back over his shoulder, but enough to suggest that he might. "Although perhaps your time with the Alliance was more of a walk in the park than what I remember of the war."
Harsh? Maybe a little.
Maybe he's not yet completely over the idea that this Seteth wasn't on the Kingdom's side, okay? It's fine.His eyes widen slightly to hear about these secret details. He'd love to say he doesn't have any unspoken feelings or anything of the sort, but regardless of how well he's bottled that sort of thing up over the years, he's pretty sure he wouldn't want anyone reading whatever this Augur had to say about him.
...particularly not with Dimitri here. Ugh.
"That's atrocious. And you want me to believe these automata are here to help us?"
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But Faerghus is still inhabited, unless you venture deep into the wilderness. Even a war has men like himself working behind the scenes to ensure their supply lines are running smoothly, their weapons maintained, their uniforms washed and mended, their morale attended to, their troops supported with healers and smiths and cooks. There isn't a single man alive who could fight a war entirely on their own, himself and Felix included. He doesn't doubt the Kingdom's war has been grueling, in every sense of the word, but.....
.....It doesn't matter. Neither of them have any particular desire to split hairs trying to make Felix understand the sentiment--especially when his question brings up a different but equally valid dimension to Seteth's concerns. "I'm saying these automata need us, and they will do everything in their power to help us fulfill that purpose. No matter how poorly we think of their methods, it is in their best interest to take care of us."
Seteth's voice hardens a little, grows more serious as his hands pause in their work. Far easier to raise your sword against an army than try to fight a calamity you can't understand or predict, isn't it? "This world was inexplicably devastated, Felix. There were no survivors. Even the land itself was incapable of supporting life until recently. Has it occurred to you to wonder how or why this might be the case? Who is to say the same thing can't happen again, if we don't even understand what the Augur is trying to recover from?"
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"Ugh." Felix rests his arms across his knees and lowers his head onto them. War or no war, this is the most miserable he's felt in a while. Physically and otherwise. At least the war was simple. The stakes were obvious, their choices clear. Battle is something Felix has always understood. Whatever this nonsense is, he doesn't understand it at all.
"They may need us, but we don't need them. That puts us at an advantage. If this were a battle, the best way to foil the enemy would be to disrupt their resources. If everyone here refused to participate, the Augur would have no choice but to make concessions to keep us happy."
He shrugs. "As for what happened to this place, minds more well-suited to that kind of thing will figure that out. I don't need to know the details. Just how to prevent it from happening again while there are actual people here. If you need someone to swing a sword while you're investigating, you can count on me for that."