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TDM 009: I'M IN LIKE WITH YOU
| TDM 009: I'M IN LIKE WITH YOU |
00. Arrival This time, you come out of the water, the Nameless Island's own inherent energy drawing people in. It's like being suspended between realities and abruptly pushed from behind through a rift in dimensions. It may make you sick, or that might be the motion of the ocean, lifting you to the surface and carrying you to shore. Waterlogged and covered in sand, new arrivals will be greeted by robots who welcome them with towels and bracelet devices. The A5 card is already loaded up. Feel free to explore the Island, though there isn’t much to see. Most of the buildings are abandoned and in dire need of repair, and beyond the city lingers a thick fog that obscures much of the wilderness from view. Wander too far into this fog, and you will find yourself mysteriously looping back to where you began, your memories of what you were doing and how you got there erased. With that in mind, it may be wise to stake your claim on a rundown apartment, a tent on the beach, or a bed in the “comfortable” new barracks. Your inventory will be found a day later, wrapped up haphazardly and delivered to each person's makeshift home. I. STARGAZER On the first night that new arrivals wash ashore, the moon rises. It's full and beautiful and surrounded by stars. The robots quickly bring old, dusty telescopes out of storage and line them up on the beach to help people get a truly spectacular view. "Look to the heavens! Behold, the chicken, the cat, the owl, the donkey!" It's... the cock, the pussy, the hooters, and the ass. For the rest of the night, characters will become fixated on the specific asset associated with the constellation they've gotten an eyeful of. Whether this leads to some body worship or just casual appreciation is up to you. You can learn about the stars and constellations later this month in some of the rare, non-pornographic books in the library. (More info will go up soon, so please be patient!) II. STIMULATING CONVERSATION An ancient courting ritual has been announced! It involves the give-and-take of candy hearts with slogans printed on them. Of course, since these hearts are being manufactured by robots, their sense of taste is a little... off? Or perhaps off-putting? "You'll do." "5/10." "Acceptable." "Sloppy Seconds." Receiving a negative heart makes one feel insecure, jealous, and submissive. "Be mine." "Nicest ass." "Swell bulge." "They're good lays, Bront." Receiving a positive heart will make one feel confident, boastful, and dominant. Your friendly neighborhood 'bots will give them out to anyone who asks - and maybe even those who don't. III. Eat Or Dare The robots have set up a stall by the beach with a banner that reads: Eat Or Dare. They have procured bigger candy hearts than ever before -- fist-sized and larger -- with actions written on them instead of derogatory slogans. "Take a dive." "Lick me." "Get handsy." The name of the game is to follow the instructions or forfeit the challenge by making the evidence disappear into your mouth. Delicious! Those who eat the candy hearts will feel themselves getting giddy and unreasonably invested in the love affairs of others. They will feel compelled to play matchmaker to spread the cheer. N A V I G A T I O N |
im laughing omg
If you have a problem, why don't you come out and say it?
[ really, it wouldn't be that much trouble to push her away and carry on with his search. much to sanji's chagrin, zoro has never had a problem raising a hand to a woman in combat, as past experiences have proven.
but this, decidedly, isn't combat. ]
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[ Because if anything annoys her (although let's be honest, a lot of things annoy her), that does.
Really, what is her problem? She's wondering that herself. But deflect, deflect, deflect. ]
I ain't got a problem. I already made it clear that yer chest is the problem!
[ shut up and let her feel it up more. Is that two hands on him now? Why yes it is. ]
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his cheeks burn once another hand gets added to the mix. his teeth bear, an uneasy facsimile of a going smile. why couldn't she challenge him to a battle to the death and make it easy?! ]
Are you saying you aren't small?! Lady, I could pick you up like a chihuahua! [ and he could, couldn't he? in reality, he's only a few inches taller than her, but this seems to be an easy way to get under her skin. ( is this how women are? are women just like this? )
regardless of whether her hands are still on him, zoro scoops up this person — seriously, who is she? — and tosses her over his shoulder. it solves one problem, his chest isn't being touched, but what is he supposed to do with her now? he looks around for a spell, the beach is large and unfamiliar. if he walks around long enough, he'll find a fine place to set her down.
problem number two comes in the form of the donkey constellation that he gazed upon earlier. with tsukuyo over his shoulder, her butt is dangerously close to— no, no! he's walking now! ]
this escalated so quickly....... /dead
and of all the shitty fucking shit moves-- she's more than capable of suplex throwing a guy his size, but she's so engrossed in groping him that she's not even the slightest bit prepared for what he does next. ]
The hell are ya doin'??!
[ And where are they going?? She's certainly not thumping at his back like a dainty little woman in the slightest.
but hey, if she slides her hands around him a certain way maybe she can still grope his chest from this angle- FOCUS, TSUKUYO ]
i am so sorry i dont know how this happened
[ and he did! ......just not in those exact words. 'what's your problem' is not the same question as 'what are you doing with my chest', but one is infinitely more embarrassing than the other. as for where they're going, zoro is absolutely the last person who should be trusted with directions of any kind. but they're going somewhere! angrily! and this beach can only go on for so long!
it's a little easier to focus now that they aren't face-to-face. maybe they can try this again. ]
Now tell me who the hell you are, or we're gonna be walking for a long, long time.
[ as they pass a row of tents, zoro flushes red all over again — and not just because his plan is terrible and he should be embarrassed about it. nothing to see here, folks. just a guy trying really hard not to touch a stranger's bum.
modesty prevents him from going for the main event all at once, but if she feels a hand on her thigh, please understand that he's so sorry, this isn't like him, he doesn't know what's come over him, and he's dying inside— ]
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Tsukuyo.
Ya should remember my name, 'cos I'll be the last person ya ever lay eyes on.
[ Yeah
The usual menacing effect is kind of ruined by the fact that she's managing to get her arms around him from this angle and fondle him a little more...
also is that his hands on her thigh-? ]
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[ yes, please take responsibility. and yes, those are his hands. for some reason? he's not asking his hands to creep higher! he hates this!
there are fingers feeling against his chest again and, okay, this is getting out of hand(s). ]
Did you look through that weirdo telescope, too? Whatever, it doesn't matter. Look, on the count of three, we're just both... going to... stop. We're gonna stop. And we're gonna go our separate ways. And nobody's gonna die. [ he needs to gain some semblance of control. he needs to try, at least. ] Ready?
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...I did. There was somethin' that was s'posed to be an owl.
[ ...What this jackass is saying does make sense.
Even with his hand creeping towards her butt. ]
Fine.
Put me the hell down and we'll both walk away.
[ She's a strong, in-control person - that's her Thing damnit. She can do this. ]
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[ it was a donkey, but animals don't quite work in the grand line as they do everywhere else.
it doesn't really matter because the plan is set. in three seconds, he's going to drop her and run for it. ]
1, 2... [ he gets one ( 1 ) squeeze in before he reaches, ] 3. [ and then he's hoisting her off of his shoulder on back onto the ground, looking mortified. he can feel the heat in his cheeks — he's not a creep, not even a little bit! he doesn't even like creeps! it was the damn telescope ( and someone's getting their ass kicked for it ) !
he doesn't run, though. not right away. ] You, uh... you all right?
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The hell are ya doin'? I don't remember ya grabbin' my ass bein' part of the agreement!
[ Not that she really has any leg to stand on after all the grabbing of his tits she's been doing up until now. ]
...I'm fine.
[ Absolutely and totally fine...
Guess where her eyes are still fixated though.]
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[ she has a point, but it was a one-and-done. he's done now. he's totally not going to try to peek over her shoulder and get one more look— nope! he turns around and crosses his arms over his chest, since it seems he's not the only one with an uncured case of wandering eyes. the only way he'll be able to talk to her is with his back turned. ]
Good. I'm fine, too. Better than fine.
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[ It's his chest and something weird is going on here- beyond the obvious. She doesn't usually act even remotely like this. ]
N' I'm even better than better than fine. [ What the hell even is that.
She should break her word and kick his ass for carrying her off like this- She would.
Maybe drag off what little he's actually got covering his torso so she can get a better-- No, no, no. Focus on something else. Anything else. ]
Who are ya and what was the point of carryin' me all the way over here?
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Anyway, it's Zoro. My name's Zoro.
[ and he's the one destined to be the best swordsman in the world. right now, however, he's just a guy with a strange butt addiction. which he's not giving into. with his back still turned, he keeps his gaze over the ocean. ]
All the way over where? I just went in a straight line. There's no way to get lost that way; we can just follow our footprints back. [ it's a foolproof strategy that doesn't take into account the wind or the way the approaching waterline has a way of washing away anything it touches. but let's pretend this is a fine method! ]
You can't keep sayin' it's not your fault. If I can resist it, so can you.
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As much as she might want to. ]
All I'm sayin' is that I've been brought to a place like this before and all of this crap only started since I got here.
[ She never makes a habit of grabbing random people's chests normally okay. ]
And ya did a fine job of resistin' it when ya were grabbin' my ass a minute ago.
[ As for his logic re them not getting lost: ] All I'm seein' is rows of tents that all look the same and your footprints gettin' washed away, Zoro.
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[ he's getting the picture... slowly... it's still strange not looking at the person he's addressing, but he stays rooted in place clean up until: ]
What?! [ now he's frantically looking up and down the beach. he had a plan! this wasn't supposed to happen! but she's entirely right; none of these tents stand out and the guide-footprints are gone. he won't panic. he gets lost all the time, but damn is this going to be annoying, as seen by the way he drags a hand over his face. ]
That was one time. You grabbed me at least thirty times! If I were somebody else, I'd probably be charging by now.
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The last place I was had different moons in the sky makin' ya act weird.
[ And by weird she also means "horny" but yeah, just going to leave that part out. It's not a stretch to think that a telescope and stars would do the same thing here.
As for his last comment: ]
I should be the one chargin' ya. Lettin' ya grab a courtesan's ass like that.
[ Clearly this man has no sense of direction whatsoever. Tsukuyo meanwhile, had been so busy trying to attack him from her place slung over his back that she probably hadn't been paying as much attention as she should have done as to where he was taking them both.
Still, she's got a fairly good sense of direction and she won't hesitate to start marching off in front of him the way she thinks they came along the beach. ]
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[ no sense of direction to be found! once tsukuyo starts off, zoro only debates for a second before following after her. he would have gone this way regardless. he knew it all along. ]
Courtesan? You mean you're really... in that line of work? [ just who the hell had he picked up and carted down the beach? ]
Fine. If that's what makes it fair, how much do I owe you? [ wait. ] YOU GRABBED ME FIRST. YOU OWE ME JUST AS MUCH, LADY!
1/2
[ She had learnt that the hard way before. And she'd been just as stubborn about it. There will be something preventing them leaving, there always is. Doesn't matter if it's a horny planet or a horny island.
As for that question: ]
I'm Yoshiwara's Courtesan of Death.
[ Then completely bluntly: ] Be grateful you didn't do more than grab my ass. The fee for the night is set at twenty million.
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Are ya some kind of pirate gigolo now?! Go find that find ship of yours, sail around the other side of the island n' I'm sure you'll find some lonely old ladies!
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Look, if you're worth twenty million, I'm worth fifty! [ the price on his head is much, much higher, but that's for turning him in dead or alive, not for sleeping with him. ] Lonely or not, I'm chargin' you for the free show I just gave! Thirty squeezes, that's at least worth two million by your standards!
...And I don't have any money.
[ that part is less animated. he showed up to this island broke, as usual. he doesn't need money unless it's for swords. everything else — food, water, shelter — he already has it. ]
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There was no way it was that many times and even if it was-- they weren't that good to... squeeze. [ Not that she can talk... stopping- stopping is bad. Stopping means looking at him again. Him and his... chiselled-ness. ]
... And I don't have any money either.
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[ she's the kind of stubborn person that really pisses him off. and it's not like he can walk away since he's relying on her to get back to something familiar. he'll just... close his eye. that's the most reasonable thing to do here. ]
Great, so you're broke, too. [ one hand comes up the bandana he keeps around his arm. he unties it enough for it to fall into his hands, then he ties it around his eyes like a blindfold. once he's sure he can't see, he holds out a hand for her to take. ]
If you haven't got any money, the least you can do is take me back to safety. Hold my hand, don't be weird about it. It's only 'cos I can't stand to look at you for much longer.
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[ Also, wow, she would have something to say about her being stubborn - something along the lines of the pot calling the kettle black, given what she's seen so far. ]
I ain't gonna be weird about it.
Just give me one reason why I shouldn't just lead ya straight into the damn sea. [ Despite what she says, she does- reluctantly and angrily- take his hand. And there's no approaching sounds of water yet so...
She's grumbling though, as she starts dragging him along. ] Havin' your eyes covered is probably an improvement on your sense of direction.
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My sense of direction isn't the problem. [ it is, but he's not the one who's going to admit that. ] We have a navigator to handle this sort of thing; I'm not the one who's supposed to be relied on. I'm probably not the only one lost, either. Haven't seen any sign of my crew.
Besides, you're just as bad as I am right now. Just keep your eyes ahead.
[ there's something she mentioned earlier, too: ] How'd you leave your Moon Island, if you're saying they make it hard to escape? And who are they?
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[ not that she considers herself a woman - she’s a fighter first and foremost. But that’s a whole complicated thing.
she sighs. ]
It wasn’t an island - it was another planet, in another universe. That’s why nobody could just up n’ leave when they wanted to. I tried - I’m a shinobi, I investigated but the only way out of that place was when they sent us back. The planet had gods in charge, deities -
It was complicated. Just don’t even assume that you’re still in the universe ya came from.
Especially one that thinks berries is money.
[ because what the hell kind of place is that. ]
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