ercookies | TDM 009: I'M IN LIKE WITH YOU

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TDM 009: I'M IN LIKE WITH YOU

00. Arrival

This time, you come out of the water, the Nameless Island's own inherent energy drawing people in. It's like being suspended between realities and abruptly pushed from behind through a rift in dimensions. It may make you sick, or that might be the motion of the ocean, lifting you to the surface and carrying you to shore.

Waterlogged and covered in sand, new arrivals will be greeted by robots who welcome them with towels and bracelet devices. The A5 card is already loaded up. Feel free to explore the Island, though there isn’t much to see. Most of the buildings are abandoned and in dire need of repair, and beyond the city lingers a thick fog that obscures much of the wilderness from view. Wander too far into this fog, and you will find yourself mysteriously looping back to where you began, your memories of what you were doing and how you got there erased.

With that in mind, it may be wise to stake your claim on a rundown apartment, a tent on the beach, or a bed in the “comfortable” new barracks. Your inventory will be found a day later, wrapped up haphazardly and delivered to each person's makeshift home.

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I. STARGAZER

On the first night that new arrivals wash ashore, the moon rises. It's full and beautiful and surrounded by stars.

The robots quickly bring old, dusty telescopes out of storage and line them up on the beach to help people get a truly spectacular view.

"Look to the heavens! Behold, the chicken, the cat, the owl, the donkey!"

It's... the cock, the pussy, the hooters, and the ass. For the rest of the night, characters will become fixated on the specific asset associated with the constellation they've gotten an eyeful of.

Whether this leads to some body worship or just casual appreciation is up to you.

You can learn about the stars and constellations later this month in some of the rare, non-pornographic books in the library. (More info will go up soon, so please be patient!)

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II. STIMULATING CONVERSATION

An ancient courting ritual has been announced! It involves the give-and-take of candy hearts with slogans printed on them. Of course, since these hearts are being manufactured by robots, their sense of taste is a little... off? Or perhaps off-putting?

"You'll do."
"5/10."
"Acceptable."
"Sloppy Seconds."

Receiving a negative heart makes one feel insecure, jealous, and submissive.

"Be mine."
"Nicest ass."
"Swell bulge."
"They're good lays, Bront."

Receiving a positive heart will make one feel confident, boastful, and dominant.

Your friendly neighborhood 'bots will give them out to anyone who asks - and maybe even those who don't.
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III. Eat Or Dare

The robots have set up a stall by the beach with a banner that reads: Eat Or Dare. They have procured bigger candy hearts than ever before -- fist-sized and larger -- with actions written on them instead of derogatory slogans.

"Take a dive."
"Lick me."
"Get handsy."

The name of the game is to follow the instructions or forfeit the challenge by making the evidence disappear into your mouth. Delicious!

Those who eat the candy hearts will feel themselves getting giddy and unreasonably invested in the love affairs of others. They will feel compelled to play matchmaker to spread the cheer.

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N A V I G A T I O N

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

HEY.

[Oh wow, look who can also capslock...]

_{[ He's seen "hey" before. This is also a kind of greeting? So he just.. ]}

HEY

_{[ Some pushing buttons and he turns the video on and Akira gets blessed with a zoomed in pair of girly green eyes-- the sound of sniffing the device is heard, and then in a demanding, gruff tone: ]}

GET ME SOMETHING TO EAT, UNDERLING.

_{[ oh.. now he's holding the bracelet right at his mouth so you can hear him loud and clear.. which you would have anyway cause this boy knows nothing of silence.. ]}

[Oh, that's– a very pretty pair of eyes, for one thing? And for another, holy shit, the mouth on this beautiful man does not befit his face at all. Akira felt that order in his soul, man. He's just... going to respond in kind and turn the video feed on, taking his bracelet off and setting it down on the kitchen island. Y'know. Just in case Mr. Maybelline feels like shrieking again.]

Yeah? Ask nicely and I'll consider it. I don't take orders.

[Not from FERAL HOGS, wow.]

“Consider?” Consider nothing. I don’t ask nicely, maggot! Do you realize who you are speakin’ with, huh?!
_{[ Literal steam blows from his nostrils then he takes in a breath. Oh god here it comes.. ]}

I AM THE ALMIGHTY HASHIBIRA INOSUKE, FUTURE KING OF THIS ISLAND!! Respect me now and I will take care of you later!!

[Well pardon the fuck out of him, Highness. What a boarish attitude... and what's with that steam? You can afford to vape but you can't feed yourself, Maybelline? Wow. The old men who bitch about The Youth™ on the subway have a point: zoomers spend their money foolishly. This one does, anyway.]

I've never heard a king beg for a meal. [Now pardon him while he takes a bite of his curry, because unlike some people, Akira has food. You see this tasty tasty curry, Inosuke? All this could be yours if you'd just, idk, not scream?] I'll humor you. What does "taking care" of me entail?

H'ohhh... that looks really good!!

_{[ He's salivating. Literally. Disgusting kid. ]}

What I mean is this...

_{[ Inosuke jabs a finger at himself. ]}

IF ANYONE FUCKS WITH YOU, I'LL KILL'EM!! A good ruler always protects his minions!! No matter how stupid and weak they are!

[Oh my, what a proposal. Look here, porky. Akira's got a whole pot of curry and an evening to burn, so you know what? He'll gladly trade a meal for some entertainment. That, and this guy seems... incredibly genuine and earnest, and because Akira's nice, he's willing to humor him on the chance he isn't high out of his mind or straight up delusional. Very, very nice.]

Sounds almost too good to be true, Highness. How can I be sure you won't dine and dash? I have a lot of enemies that need slaying.

[And by enemies he means dastardly dust mites and a nigh bottomless sink full of dishes. Surely these are adversaries a mighty king can easily thwart in exchange for some god-tier curry.]

Kehehehehehe!!! I knew you wouldn't be able to resist.. bein' under.. my protection!!

WE CAN MAKE A BLOOD OATH. WITH BLOOD.

_{[ ???????? okay that's a bit extra..... ]}

Describe the curry you have.. I will find you!!!

_{[ He has His Ways. He just has to get a good feeling. He imagines it's something warm.. and spicy, but he needs specifics in order to find the curry. ]}

With a dash of blood for good measure, right? No thanks.

[He'll feed you but he's not going to cut his palm open and give you some weird bloody handshake, Inosuke?? That's also kind of unsanitary beyond being unnecessarily painful, so uh. Hard pass.

Anyway... find him? Can this guy manage to find him without his coordinates? TIME TO FIND OUT. With any luck, Insosuke will find his humble little house on the beach and won't put a dent in his fucking door with his skull like a certain ye olde he could name.]

This curry is the curry of the gods. The ambrosia of curries. [But wait, he'll delve into the specifics.] Tumeric, cumin, ginger, coriander... all in perfect harmony. Hope you like chicken.

WEAK.

_{[ That's all he says as he points to his device but then does whatever this is. ]}

I WILL FIND YOU, CURRY-MAGGOT. BE AMAZED, I'M AMAZING!

_{[ That being said, Inosuke doesn't bother to turn off the device on his wirst and there's some muttering, both of his arms stretching wide across from each other and then.. silence. Suddenly, he takes off. ]}

TOO EASY.

_{[ It doesn't take long, and maybe Akira can tell where Inosuke is at from the blur of movement when he runs, but if not, he'll hear a loud THUD against Akira's door.
Yeah, he's headbutting the door. ]}

Hnnggghhhhhhh.... LET ME IN.

_{[ let me in ]}

[Curried maggots sound disgusting, and frankly, how dare? Akira eats his curry in contemplative silence while Inosuke fails to turn off his bracelet, continues to scream, and manages to hunt him down in that order. Oh fuck, what manner of cryptid did he invite to his humble abode...?

That THUD rattles Akira's spoon the very moment he sets it on his plate. That's a very familiar-sounding thud? Fuck, he headbutted the door, didn't he. It's a wonder the wood didn't split after the number Tanjiro did on it previously.]

I'm coming. Don't headbutt the door again.

[Ending the call on his bracelet, Akira shuffles over to the door as quickly as he can and tugs it open. Uh.]

Curry's in the kitchen. Help yourself.

[OH BOY]

_{[ The only reason Inosuke headbutts things is cause Tanjiro headbutted him once and gave him a concussion, so he's been trying to train his head to be stronger ever since. Somehow he thinks headbutting things will strengthen it.

As soon as the door opens, Inosuke barges in, giving Akira a look over before going straight to the kitchen. All he's wearing is a pair of hakama pants and an animal pelt around his waist.

He helps himself.. to the curry that Akira was eating and is wordless as he eats. He stops at one point to open his mouth and breathe and pant, mostly cause it's spicy and he's sensitive to things like that. He doesn't stop, though, and he seems to like it. ]}

[So he really is a feral hog... Inosuke just radiates that sort of energy. Akira follows him into the kitchen and watches him eat with vigor.

Given how he's dressed, is it fair to assume he has no place to live? Is he holing away in the deepest depths of the forest? Akira was strongly considering getting a cat to ward off his loneliness (wherefore art thou, Morgana), but perhaps a wild child will do.

Y'know, at least until he's been properly fed and bathed. Leaning against the kitchen wall, Akira notices Inosuke panting and gestures for him to stop stuffing his cheeks for just a moment.]

Too spicy? I can sweeten it up for you.

[Akira motions to the apples sitting on the kitchen island. It'd be a simple matter to sauté and add them into the curry.]

_{[ A feral hog that wears his mother's head, yes. Though, the boar head is missing, much to his distress. The only reason he wears it is to look intimidating anyway— he's a little ashamed of his girly face.

When gestured at, he takes Akira by the wrist, pressing his thumb into the other teen tightly. Then, gruffly: ]}

I don't need sweet. I am better than needing sweet!!

_{[ Inosuke releases Akira so he can finish off the curry with an impressive speed, though he'll want more. Through his lips smacking and chewing, he goes on to say more: ]}

I am looking for several people. Tell me where they are!!

[What is this nonsense? He feeds you and then you turn around and bully him in his own home, pretty boy?

Inosuke doesn't remain much of a threat, at least not while his appetite demands he keep shoveling down that curry like it's going out of style. While he's busy eating, Akira gets to work cutting up some apples and tossing them into a buttered pan.]

"Several people" is kind of vague. [IT'S EXCEEDINGLY VAGUE.] Got any names?

Mm. I've got names!!

_{[ here it comes... ]}

Chiritsu, Nezuko, Kentarou. They are my travel companions. Also, Half-Half Haori.

[Hmm. Right on cue is the disappointment.]

Never heard of them.

[...no, that isn't quite right. Akira does recognize one of those names, that being Nezuko, Tanjiro's beloved baby sister. He knows Tanjiro well enough to understand how near and dear to his heart she is.

As the apples slowly turn golden in the pan, he glances over his shoulder at Inosuke.]

Who's Nezuko? Your girlfriend?

[Going about this the worst possible way is necessary, trust him.]

H'oh..!? Girlfriend? She is a girl... and she is a friend! She is not a girlfriend as Chiritsu would put it!! I AM NOT INTERESTED IN THAT KIND OF THING... BIRTH HOLES AND MATING.. AND MARRYING. Especially not with her!!

Though, I would kill anyone who hurt her!!

She is a demon.. but she is a good demon. She fights with us. We are gonna heal her!!

[...so earnest, this boarish cryptid man. Akira can't help but smile. There's been a slight change in plans, by the way. Akira tosses the apples in cinnamon and plates them, topping them with whipped cream and sliding it over to Inosuke. Viola, impromptu dessert.]

So you're Tanjiro's friend.

[He's spoken about you at length, Inosuke... but all the juicy details regarding your self-lubricating ass were ever so thoughtfully not mentioned.]

Here. I went easy on the cinnamon. Lemme know what you think.

_{[ A sudden dessert that he has never had before. Inosuke's eyes grow wide at the treat, leaning forward before cooing softly. ]}

Uwuhhh.. it feels so good.

_{[ Yes, he's sensing that dessert. And it feels good. He'll dig right in but pause when Tanjiro's name is mentioned. ]}

Wha-- you know Gonpachiro..!? With his solid acorn head..!?

_{[ A low, bellowy noise. ]}

Mmmm. It doesn't surprise me that he is here. Where does he live? I could find himself but.. just wonderin'.

[It... feels good? Look, Inosuke. This dessert is not for rubbing your face in. Thankfully, he eats it with his mouth and not the entirety of his face. Good feral boy. Very good feral boy.]

The solid head rings a bell. [Tanjiro's rock hard skull is impressive and terrifying at the same time. Did Inosuke see the dent in Akira's door before he worsened it? As for where he lives...] I could tell you, but then I'd have to kill you.

[would he tho..... would he really]

Hehhhhhh.

_{[ A breathy sound comes from the other teen, a rather wolfish grin forming on his face. Don't.. ever threaten Inosuke. He loves it.
Suddenly, he slams both of his hands on the table and stands up from his seat. ]}

STUPID CURRY MAGGOT. I COULD SNAP YOUR SPINE IN TWO. DO YOU WANT TO TRY ME?? It's good fun, good fun!! Keheheh!! I'm gonna fight everyone here and be the strongest, so I should start with a weakling!!

[Oh boy, oh no, is boar boy a masochist? That's terrible. Now there are vaguely palm-shaped dents in his table, thanks a fucking lot, now he'll have to trade a square for a table that hasn't been Inosuke'd? You're a menace, man.

Akira's just going to, you know, not pour more oil on the tire fire. He'd rather not engage this creature in full on shonen combat if he can avoid it. He does not, in fact, want to try Inosuke. Imagine that.]

Speaking of curry, [IS HE ALLOWED TO CHANGE THE SUBJECT HERE? NO? HE'S DOING IT ANYWAY,] how'd you like the food? Want some coffee to wash it down?

[Please don't gore him...]

I DON'T KNOW WHAT COFFEE IS, BUT GIVE IT TO ME.

_{[ wait.. ]}

Don't distract me!! I ain't finished with ya, I wanna kick your puny ass!!
After cof-fee!!

00. Arrival

I. STARGAZER

II. STIMULATING CONVERSATION

III. Eat Or Dare

LEAVES THIS HERE @A.Kurusu

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