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TDM 007: ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED? (Sorry, No Refunds)
| TDM 007: ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED? |
00. Arrival This time, you come out of the water, the Nameless Island's own inherent energy drawing people in. It's like being suspended between realities and abruptly pushed from behind through a rift in dimensions. It may make you sick, or that might be the motion of the ocean, lifting you to the surface and carrying you to shore. Waterlogged and covered in sand, new arrivals will be greeted by robots who welcome them with towels and bracelet devices. The A5 card is already loaded up. Feel free to explore the Island, though there isn’t much to see. Most of the buildings are abandoned and in dire need of repair, and beyond the city lingers a thick fog that obscures much of the wilderness from view. Wander too far into this fog, and you will find yourself mysteriously looping back to where you began, your memories of what you were doing and how you got there erased. With that in mind, it may be wise to stake your claim on a rundown apartment, a tent on the beach, or a bed in the “comfortable” new barracks. Your inventory will be found a day later, wrapped up haphazardly and delivered to each person's makeshift home. I. Entertainment District Old and new arrivals alike have likely been enjoying(?) the Island’s one day of sunshine per week - and so have the robots! The energy they are able to harness from the sun has increased their productivity exponentially, and a colorful multi-level entertainment district has sprung up to surround a few of the city’s familiar locations. Here you will find the forge, the clothing shop, the Full Moon(ty) Theater, as well as a freshly upgraded Ticket to Ride: an all-purpose arcade where tickets won from skeeball and Whack-a-Woody can be exchanged for sexy, colorful prizes! Admission is free, and the robots especially encourage islanders to check out the following arcade additions:  Lurid Laser Tag: Slip into a full-body laser tag suit and arm yourself with a robot-provided laser gun before you go into this spooky and maze-like laser tag arena, which has been designed in the fashion of an abandoned, post-apocalyptic city overrun with creeping, squirming, and sometimes grabbing plants (which may look and feel very familiar to the earliest residents of the Nameless Island). Avoid these obstacles and try to spot the enemy before they spot you! The laser guns issued by the ‘bots have three graduated settings, chosen by the shooter, to alert you when you are hit: 1. vibration, 2. sweet caress, and 3. deep massage. Any part of your laser tag suit may activate, depending on where you are hit. Islanders may choose to play 1-on-1 with a friend, or can be randomly assigned to an opponent or team. VR Rooms: Pull on a shiny new headset and enjoy an immersive virtual reality experience like none other available on the Island thus far! The technology is still somewhat limited, however, in that the rooms can only replicate settings and environments from the current users’ memories. Whether you’re looking to train your battle skills on your old stomping grounds or simply want to share the experience of your favorite hometown noodle shop with a friend, these new VR rooms will literally open up new worlds of entertainment to you. VR Rooms can be enjoyed alone or in pairs, and they are fully private. GundamPods: A scaled-down version of the newly installed mobile suit simulation cockpits which can be accessed in the hangar at the outskirts of the city, these side-by-side pods allow users to recreate the experience of piloting any mobile suit that has been brought onto the island, in PVP format. Scant and form-fitting clothing is recommended for the most seamlessly realistic piloting experience, as this allows the technology to interface with your sensory system. Wear a bikini and you’ll feel it right down to the G’s! II. Sexscape Room Looking for the latest opportunity to earn credits? Look no further! The robots are researching the problem-solving capabilities of organic lifeforms, and they are seeking the Islanders’ help. The offered reward is very generous, and the ‘bots say the time commitment is no more than two hours. No manual labor required! Participants will only be given a puzzle to solve within that time limit. Those who agree will be led to a spacious, if dark, room... but not alone. When the lights turn on, two volunteers find themselves trapped together in an escape room! Written clues lead participants through a series of steps to find the trick that will unlock the doors that hold them captive. However, what kind of room they find themselves in is entirely luck of the draw. Some rooms are perfectly normal, with almost absurdly easy puzzles to solve - a tip of a bookcase or a key hidden beneath a pillow might just be the ticket out. Others may be outrageously difficult, with clues taking the form of cryptic riddles and assigned tasks requiring partnership and teamwork to complete. What kind of tasks, you may ask? Well, for some rooms it’s fairly obvious what volunteers are expected to do in order to earn their escape. That riding crop says it all, does it not? Those who fail to solve the escape room within two hours will be released without incident, the promised credits loaded to their devices. Islanders who successfully escape the room will be additionally rewarded with a goody bag of cute and colorful BDSM gear! III. Speed Dating at the Limp Noodle So many renovations have occurred thanks to the efforts of those on the Island and the robots have decided a grand opening of the new Limp Noodle Shop! This robot-run shop has three small tables and a long counter for serving customers. It caters to various noodle foods and soups from any world and their menu changes regularly, but Wednesday is All You Can Eat Ramen Day. Try the Special Spicy Fishcakes to get a free drink, but they might make your noodle anything but limp and you'll need some help to calm it down. Effects can last up to three hours. But that’s not all. To promote the grand opening of the Limp Noodle the robots have added more seating and opened up the week for Swap Meet Speed Dating. That’s right, speed dating. Anyone who takes part in the 10 minute rounds of looking for your next Auspicious Act partner will receive all-you-can-eat snacks. Couples who hit it off will receive a free meal at a small two-seat table in a more secluded area. Questions are provided on note cards with a fine print reminder: “Eye contact supports sexual intrigue, please maintain at all times.” N A V I G A T I O N |
haven't i heard somewhere that a wizard is never late?
Just Caleb, please. [ The correction is gentle, and coupled with a thin half smile. He notes in passing that these dumplings are gyōza here, where back home he would call them knödel. Not significant, but something else to absorb.
Far more interesting is that component pouch at Even's belt, instantly recognizable. His smile visibly brightens a little, and he meets the tiefling's eyes again with a renewed interest. ]
It is good to meet you as well, Even. [ Similarly, Caleb's accessories mark him as an arcane practitioner right off the bat for anyone who knows what to look for. In addition to the component pouch at his waist, there are two books strapped close to his body, visible past his coat when he leans forward. The thicker one is unmistakably his spellbook. ] I think a bowl of noodles may be in order. Ten minutes will probably not be long enough to cover the things we seem to have in common.
Oh does Even wish he was as cool as Gandalf
[He's picked up and read off one of those cue cards, reading it off with low-key theatrical mockery.
Really, he's never been so pleased to be clocked; getting sized up by another wizard back home so often ends in some manner of backhanded pissing contest, if one isn't already a friendly acquaintance. He is determined not to let that vibe in here, though. It's too nice to have the potential chance to talk shop.
But that may be jumping the gun. Better to check. He's polished off his first gyōza, and he puts the sticks down. ]
I don't suppose you hail from Toril?
no subject
Though it's been apparent that people here have been brought from everywhere, it's more surprising to him than it should be that a tiefling with a knack for the arcane is from somewhere he's never heard of. But it makes sense, given a little thought, that there should be multiple dimensions with more similarities than differences. ]
From Wildemount, in Exandria.
[ He's giving the chopsticks a try as he says it, and though he's holding them completely wrong, he does at least manage to pick up a gyōza. ]
Beyond my friends and myself, I have not met anyone here who has heard of it.
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[He's met the new arrivals, recently enough, although his memories of the latter are hazy at best. It's a double-edged sword to hear that this is another from that world; oh, he had been hoping, but perhaps it's for the best that no one else from home has been taken. ]
Well, count one more that has at least heard of Exandria, though secondhand. I had a long chat with Fjord and it sounds as if our worlds are more similar than most, in norms and peoples and -- well, in magic, point of fact.
[He grins brightly for that last. Interrupting himself, though, he picks up his chopsticks again and holds his hand up, demonstrating. ]
Here, it's a little easier if you do it like this. Don't hold that one like a pen, not quite. Further up.
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Yes, both of them. I am not surprised that you have already met.
[ It's a relief, actually. Knowing that Fjord in particular had liked Even enough to talk extensively with him about their home is a significant point in his favor. ]
Oh-- [ Somewhat startled by the change of subject, Caleb blinks once before his brow furrows in concentration. Observing and copying the placement of Even's fingers, he adjusts his grip. He does so much writing that holding it like a pen had been his first instinct, but he can feel now that it balances and moves more easily when he lets up a little. The gyoza falls back onto the plate in the process, but he picks it up again after several more attempts. ] Is this correct?
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[It's a brief aside, as far as Even's concerned; he might be showing off a bit, but he'd spent an afternoon learning them and he wants share the wealth. ]
Your friends are interesting sorts. I admit, when I first saw there was someone of orcish descent I was a bit shocked to find that they were from a different world than my own, much less another tiefling. Would you believe most of the people here come from worlds that are home to no other peoples than their own?
[Mostly humans, but he's not going to express that dismay to a human. Rather, it's time he leans in and confides an even more shocking revelation. ]
Moreover, more worlds than not have no knowledge of magic.
no subject
Admittedly, that was also my first thought. Surprise at hearing that you are not from Exandria, I mean. But if there are so many worlds with people of only one kind, why not several with both tieflings and half-orcs?
[ While they may be rarer than humans in many places in Exandria--and, he assumes, in Even's Toril as well--there is no reason to think they should be confined to only one world.
Conspiratorially, Caleb leans forward when Even does. He's certainly been making enough eye contact to please the robots. His voice lowers. ]
Meaning that there is no magic at all? Or that they are not aware of it?
[ Clearly, that's a concept that Caleb struggles with. It wouldn't be an exaggeration to say that magic is his life, and imagining another world without it is not only baffling, but sad. ]
no subject
[It's as abhorrent and incomprehensible a concept to Even as it apparently is to Caleb. The tiefling shakes his head, tail tapping a lightly excited rhythm on the leg of his chair.]
There have been some who have arrived with no knowledge of the arcane at all, but have been able to learn. That could possibly point to worlds where there the arcane isn't accessible at all, but a lot of those people seem to come from worlds that lack magical creatures, as well, and in some cases, gods at all.
My best theory is that it's a lack of role models.
[It's a silly turn of phrase, and he laughs a little.]
That is, um, how does one learn magic without first learning of magic? So they're stuck without even knowing it's an option.
[It's not Occam's Razor, but hey, wizards.]
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No, I understand your meaning. That seems plausible. [ Way more plausible than just no magic, obviously. ] Perhaps magic is present, but it is simply interpreted another way, or differs from our understanding of it in the way it manifests.
[ Of course it's just as they're really getting to something interesting that a robot approaches and informs them that ten minutes have passed and it's time to move on. Caleb sits up straight and reaches a hand across the table toward Even, palm up. Long ink and soot-stained fingers, callouses from holding a pen--it's definitely the hand of a wizard. The hand of a wizard who doesn't mind appearing a little rough around the edges, at least. ]
Actually, I wonder if we could be permitted a private space? We would like to spend a little more time together. [ It is technically truth, even if they don't intend to spend their time the way they are likely supposed to.
But with a +9 to both persuasion and deception, they should be fine?]no subject
Even, who gets up to follow after flashing Caleb a triumphant grin, knows better than to take those, but he does nab the noodle menu that emerges amongst those machine-generated sex guides. He flips through it as they're led to a back booth, delightfully atmospheric with a little candle in the middle of the table, and a tall three-quarter wall between it and the next booth.]
Ah, here's a tip for navigating this place.
[He sits, slides the menu he'd nabbed over to Caleb, tapping it, and in particular the warning on the Special Spicy Fish Cakes. The robot has briefly whisked off to fetch some table settings, and he takes advantage of the moment to drop the facade again.]
When the menu lists one or two things with... er, special effects, the rest of the offerings are probably safe. Start to be suspicious when everything looks perfectly innocent.
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He mostly observes, taking cues from Even until they sit down together again somewhere more private and he can have a look at the menu. With Even guiding him, he notes the warning and the offer of a free drink beside the fish cakes. ]
That is invaluable advice. Thank you. [ Genuinely. This is precisely the sort of thing he had been hoping to learn tonight. It seems he's gotten doubly lucky in finding Even, who is both willing to pass on helpful tips and discuss magical theory. ] Should I also assume that offers for freebies are generally to be avoided?
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Nothing they've done has been fatal, so far at least, or caused serious physical damage. There have been some absolutely dramatic transmutation and enchantment effects, however, so if you have ways to protect against those you may want to make use of them.
[It's nice, for once, to be able to speak of the magics he's been subject to here in the schools he's been able to work them out to be.]
Of course, caution is still always the best first defense.
Uh, the shoyu noodle bowl, [He tells the robot, which has very abruptly rolled back over and seems to be giving them a bit of an eyeballing. That water has arrived with it, though, and Even takes his quickly. Go away, robot, don't notice that they're not smooching yet please. ]
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[ Caleb is perhaps too eager in his asking, and curiosity makes his gaze even sharper. He asks with bad timing, however, interrupted by the return of the robot. Hurriedly and a little awkwardly he adds, ] I will have the same.
[ As soon as the little bot has rolled away again with their orders, though, Caleb as right back on topic. ]
Could they not be Dispelled? [ There's an almost apologetic quirk to his lips. ] Transmutation is a specialty of mine, so I am very curious.
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I'm afraid I arrived here without having gotten my hands on that one. I can detect, but not dispel.
Ah, usually the transformations that occur also come with some degree of psychological change as well. There were hot springs a few months ago, turned people into creatures, sirens, minotaurs. It was only after one transformed back that one got one's head again. There is a chance any magic this place casts on you would strip you of the desire to dispel it.
[He sighs. He's dancing around it. He spreads his hands on the table -- he'd been talking with his hands a bit, but he calms that.]
Not to put it too indelicately, but most of the major effects this place presses upon us do endow one with the desire to fulfill the imperative that the Augur has tasked us with. That generally also seems to be the trigger for reversing the effects.
If you do find opportunity to try to Dispel one of these effects, I hope you'll let me know if it works? That would be an absolutely invaluable service here.
no subject
And in fact, Even sounds knowledgeable and well-studied in a way that he enjoys listening to enough that he doesn't bother interjecting until he is finished. ]
Not to worry. You will not offend my sensibilities by being frank about any of this. [ That's an assurance he makes with a thread of amusement behind it. Look, he's lived with Jester Lavorre for the last year. He can handle it. ] As unpleasant as these effects must be to experience, I am certain the opportunity to test this theory will inevitably arise. When it does, I will be sure to pass on the results.
[ Caleb rubs absently at one forearm with his other hand, fingers scratching over the fabric of his coat, as he continues to muse aloud. ]
Perhaps a Restoration of some sort would be more effective, depending on the magic in play. But we are missing our clerics, so that is a moot point.
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[There is a peevishness with which Even speaks here. He had also arrived without any healing spells to speak of, and it's been a thorn in his side in so many ways, as well as a terrible embarrassment. But it's one thing to be a utility wizard in general, and quite another to have to span the entire gamut of things a party might need magic for. He can't do everything. Even though he feels as though he should.]
But no matter. One will show up or they won't, and I can't bring myself to wish this place on anyone.
You said your specialty is transmutation?
[Better to focus on the positives. Even's ire settles as he focuses on the other wizard again, bright with interest.]
I imagine that is going to come well in handy too. Offensive, defensive? Do you specialize?
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When the two of them are alone again Caleb picks up the spoon that has helpfully been included with the bowl. Finally a utensil he can use without being tutored on it first. ]
I am interested in a little of everything. Transmutation is a particular specialty, but my spellbook is a bit cobbled together by necessity. Many things I have learned or have been generously taught to me based on our group's needs at the time, though I have certainly made choices based on what sounds most appealing to me.
[ He pauses to take a first sip of the broth, which is pleasantly salty and flavorful. Just to be cautious, he sets his spoon down with the intent to wait before he eats any more. Even's explanation had made sense, but it pays to be certain. ]
I know a number of both offensive and defensive spells, as our work sees us getting into combat often. But I also have a variety of tricks to get us out of other sticky situations.
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That sounds wonderful, I'll be honest. At the moment, most of my spellbook is still the folio I left school with, and this place has not been most forthcoming with opportunities to learn proper spellwork. It's a little ironic, considering how very magical this place does seem to be.
Are you much good at reverse-engineering spells, come to think? If so, I know some hot springs that you should take a look at.