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TDM 007: ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED? (Sorry, No Refunds)
| TDM 007: ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED? |
00. Arrival This time, you come out of the water, the Nameless Island's own inherent energy drawing people in. It's like being suspended between realities and abruptly pushed from behind through a rift in dimensions. It may make you sick, or that might be the motion of the ocean, lifting you to the surface and carrying you to shore. Waterlogged and covered in sand, new arrivals will be greeted by robots who welcome them with towels and bracelet devices. The A5 card is already loaded up. Feel free to explore the Island, though there isn’t much to see. Most of the buildings are abandoned and in dire need of repair, and beyond the city lingers a thick fog that obscures much of the wilderness from view. Wander too far into this fog, and you will find yourself mysteriously looping back to where you began, your memories of what you were doing and how you got there erased. With that in mind, it may be wise to stake your claim on a rundown apartment, a tent on the beach, or a bed in the “comfortable” new barracks. Your inventory will be found a day later, wrapped up haphazardly and delivered to each person's makeshift home. I. Entertainment District Old and new arrivals alike have likely been enjoying(?) the Island’s one day of sunshine per week - and so have the robots! The energy they are able to harness from the sun has increased their productivity exponentially, and a colorful multi-level entertainment district has sprung up to surround a few of the city’s familiar locations. Here you will find the forge, the clothing shop, the Full Moon(ty) Theater, as well as a freshly upgraded Ticket to Ride: an all-purpose arcade where tickets won from skeeball and Whack-a-Woody can be exchanged for sexy, colorful prizes! Admission is free, and the robots especially encourage islanders to check out the following arcade additions:  Lurid Laser Tag: Slip into a full-body laser tag suit and arm yourself with a robot-provided laser gun before you go into this spooky and maze-like laser tag arena, which has been designed in the fashion of an abandoned, post-apocalyptic city overrun with creeping, squirming, and sometimes grabbing plants (which may look and feel very familiar to the earliest residents of the Nameless Island). Avoid these obstacles and try to spot the enemy before they spot you! The laser guns issued by the ‘bots have three graduated settings, chosen by the shooter, to alert you when you are hit: 1. vibration, 2. sweet caress, and 3. deep massage. Any part of your laser tag suit may activate, depending on where you are hit. Islanders may choose to play 1-on-1 with a friend, or can be randomly assigned to an opponent or team. VR Rooms: Pull on a shiny new headset and enjoy an immersive virtual reality experience like none other available on the Island thus far! The technology is still somewhat limited, however, in that the rooms can only replicate settings and environments from the current users’ memories. Whether you’re looking to train your battle skills on your old stomping grounds or simply want to share the experience of your favorite hometown noodle shop with a friend, these new VR rooms will literally open up new worlds of entertainment to you. VR Rooms can be enjoyed alone or in pairs, and they are fully private. GundamPods: A scaled-down version of the newly installed mobile suit simulation cockpits which can be accessed in the hangar at the outskirts of the city, these side-by-side pods allow users to recreate the experience of piloting any mobile suit that has been brought onto the island, in PVP format. Scant and form-fitting clothing is recommended for the most seamlessly realistic piloting experience, as this allows the technology to interface with your sensory system. Wear a bikini and you’ll feel it right down to the G’s! II. Sexscape Room Looking for the latest opportunity to earn credits? Look no further! The robots are researching the problem-solving capabilities of organic lifeforms, and they are seeking the Islanders’ help. The offered reward is very generous, and the ‘bots say the time commitment is no more than two hours. No manual labor required! Participants will only be given a puzzle to solve within that time limit. Those who agree will be led to a spacious, if dark, room... but not alone. When the lights turn on, two volunteers find themselves trapped together in an escape room! Written clues lead participants through a series of steps to find the trick that will unlock the doors that hold them captive. However, what kind of room they find themselves in is entirely luck of the draw. Some rooms are perfectly normal, with almost absurdly easy puzzles to solve - a tip of a bookcase or a key hidden beneath a pillow might just be the ticket out. Others may be outrageously difficult, with clues taking the form of cryptic riddles and assigned tasks requiring partnership and teamwork to complete. What kind of tasks, you may ask? Well, for some rooms it’s fairly obvious what volunteers are expected to do in order to earn their escape. That riding crop says it all, does it not? Those who fail to solve the escape room within two hours will be released without incident, the promised credits loaded to their devices. Islanders who successfully escape the room will be additionally rewarded with a goody bag of cute and colorful BDSM gear! III. Speed Dating at the Limp Noodle So many renovations have occurred thanks to the efforts of those on the Island and the robots have decided a grand opening of the new Limp Noodle Shop! This robot-run shop has three small tables and a long counter for serving customers. It caters to various noodle foods and soups from any world and their menu changes regularly, but Wednesday is All You Can Eat Ramen Day. Try the Special Spicy Fishcakes to get a free drink, but they might make your noodle anything but limp and you'll need some help to calm it down. Effects can last up to three hours. But that’s not all. To promote the grand opening of the Limp Noodle the robots have added more seating and opened up the week for Swap Meet Speed Dating. That’s right, speed dating. Anyone who takes part in the 10 minute rounds of looking for your next Auspicious Act partner will receive all-you-can-eat snacks. Couples who hit it off will receive a free meal at a small two-seat table in a more secluded area. Questions are provided on note cards with a fine print reminder: “Eye contact supports sexual intrigue, please maintain at all times.” N A V I G A T I O N |
B
But okay, Dimitri has been here for a while now, and the lack of proper tomes doesn't surprise him so much anymore. Nor does the... specific type of selection the library carries. (Spoilers: it's all sexual in nature.) Of course, he still hopes against hope that one day he'll find something slightly less catered to the island's needs, but... well. He can't say they're useless. In fact, he may or may not have done some, uh, research before.
He may or may not be doing research right now, but you know what! Don't ask. Just... don't.
Instead! Let's just focus on the fact that his friend is in need of help, and it's help Dimitri can provide! ]
Ah, I am afraid that is one more thing for you to grow accustomed to, Ashe. [ A sympathetic smile, though; he can relate, buddy. ] There are no real books anywhere in sight. However, you can use these for reading. Like this--
[ He'll lead by example and slide a data chip in his own bracelet, press a couple of buttons and bam, it loads! Maybe just... don't look at his pick, either. There is absolutely nothing suggestive about a book called Boarlionaire, nope, no sir! ]
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[Though also... a little disappointing. He already knows he's going to miss the smell of paper, the sound of pages turning...
But at least he still has access to literature! He's just going to focus on the silver lining here (never mind the... subject matter, of that silver lining). And speaking of literature...
Unfortunately for Dimitri, Ashe has a good eye and is a quick reader. And so...]
Boarlionaire...?
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Boarllionaire. Snort.
Okay, Dimitri, compose yourself-- and maybe try not to shake so much with barely contained laughter, people who aren't named Alois don't get your weirdball sense of humor. ]
Oh, that is-- [ Another snort, just a teeny tiny one this time! ] It is a story about a man who is somehow also a boar, and a [ billionaire. ] bullionaire. Given the summary, I thought the title was rather clever.
[ You know. Billionaire, but a boar? Boarllionaire? Come on, be a dear and don't make him explain the joke-- Goddess, he misses Alois. ]
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A long, long moment.
And then...]
Oh! It's a joke...!
[Like the ones Alois tells. It's never really been in line with Ashe's sort of humor, but he gets it.
So he'll indulge Dimitri with a chuckle! ...A small one.]
Yes, it's... very clever.
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But! Dimitri knows better than to press-- and really, he knows what little sense of humor he has is weird-- so he'll pull his wrist (and bracelet) back and put his questionable reading choices away for a moment. Not that there's anything but questionable choices to be made in this specific library... ]
Regardless, this is how we do our reading in this place. If you would prefer a wider screen, then you may use one of these. [ He gestures at the tablets on display. ] I would be happy to purchase one for you, if you would like.
[ He knows Ashe likes to read, and he's also new so he probably doesn't have any credits, while Dimitri... has amassed a bit of a surplus and we'll leave it at that. ]
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I appreciate it, Your Highness, truly, but you don't have to go out of your way for me. I'm sure I can earn the money for it on my own...
[Even if most of the ways he's seen to make money around here involve acts that are... really not befitting the conduct of a knight. Which actually makes him wonder how Dimitri has enough to throw around so frivolously...
...No no no, he definitely shouldn't wonder about that.]
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becomes a Boarllionaireaccrues enough coin to live comfortably! And, more importantly, spoil friends! So let him! ]Ashe, please, it is hardly going out of my way. [ Literally. He's right here, tablets on display ready for purchase. ] I am certain you will eventually be able to earn credits on your own, and you may even repay me for it in the future, if you like. [ No, he may not. That's rude. ] But for now, allow me to handle this.
[ And he's going to do just that! A couple of beep-boops on his bracelet and he approaches one of the readers to swipe his Monstercard-- uh, Mastercock-- no wait, Mastercard-- and complete the transaction, one spankin' new tablet ready for use!
(Not to be used for actual spanking; Dimitri may have a "Pervertibles" square but these things are terribly fragile!) ]
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[But it's too late - commerce is too efficient in this world, apparently, for Ashe to intervene, and soon he is the owner of a shiny new tablet, curtesy of Dimitri.
Well, it would be rude not to take it now that Dimitri has paid for it, and he can't deny that he wants one - he doesn't know how it works, exactly, but if it's what he needs to read books then he's glad to have it!
He still looks extremely bashful when he takes it from Dimitri, though.]
Thank you so much. I will pay you back. [At least let him say it, he'll feel better!] I appreciate having this.
[Now he just... has to figure out how to use the thing.]
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... at least insofar as spoiling his friends is concerned. They deserve nothing but good things, okay. ]
It is my pleasure to assist. [ ... in letting Ashe have the means to read, not assist him in earning those credits, is what he means! Although there is some decent work to be found, and Dimitri could probably help with that at a later point. ] I have never used one of those readers, myself, but they should pose no bigger a challenge than our bracelets. Have you been having much trouble with yours?
[ With figuring it out, not the... squares thing. Goddess, why does he have to second guess everything he says in this place! ]
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[He's started taking the robots and bracelets in stride. Even if it makes his ye olde mind hurt a bit...]
But thank you for checking on me... I might need to ask for your help in the future.
[With working the bracelet, not... other things.]
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Of course. [ A nod and an easy smile; checking on his people isn't just his duty as a king, it's what a good friend does! ] Were you looking for any specific type of reading? The selection here is... rather limited, actually, but there are some halfway decent light novels...
[ And by halfway decent, he really means it's... only halfway graphic. Not painfully detailed like that sounding deal Annette had shown him, or any of that... erm, excessive closeness with equine friends that could effectively raise the hairs of any horse girl. Just good ol' erotica, really. Porn with feelings. ]
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[He's looking around curiously at the data chips, noting the... provocative titles visible. Ah, so it's this kind of selection...
It's not like Ashe is oblivious to this kind of literature, but it's also super embarrassing to be looking at it with his prince, of all people. Maybe he shouldn't have asked... but it's too late now.]