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TDM 005: HAPPY SPOOKTEMBER
| TDM 005: HAPPY SPOOKTEMBER |
Arrival  This time, you come out of the water, the Nameless Island's own inherent energy drawing people in. It's like being suspended between realities and abruptly pushed from behind through a rift in dimensions. It may make you sick, or that might be the motion of the ocean, lifting you to the surface and carrying you to shore. Waterlogged and covered in sand, new arrivals will be greeted by robots who welcome them with towels and bracelet devices. The A5 card is already loaded up. Feel free to explore the Island, though there isn’t much to see. Most of the buildings are abandoned and in dire need of repair, and beyond the city lingers a thick fog that obscures much of the wilderness from view. Wander too far into this fog, and you will find yourself mysteriously looping back to where you began, your memories of what you were doing and how you got there erased. With that in mind, it may be wise to stake your claim on a rundown apartment, a tent on the beach, or a bed in the "comfortable" new barracks. Your inventory will be found a day later, wrapped up haphazardly and delivered to each person's makeshift home. I. Harvest Hunt  As the daylight grows shorter and the muggy heat of the island’s summer gradually shifts to temperate days and chilly nights, Erku’s accessible wilderness explodes with a colorful collection of tempting fruits, fragrant-smelling herbs, and nuts and seeds plumped and ready for harvest. With warnings to beware of monsters, the robots of Erku encourage Islanders to take advantage of the land’s bounty by distributing basic camping supplies to those who are interested in exploring, hunting, and harvesting. They strongly encourage making the journey with a friend! Any surplus foods that Islanders bring home with them can be exchanged for credits with cafeteria robots! Just be careful out there - some of these fruits have strange effects once consumed. For extra protection out there in the wilds, the robots have fashioned crowns of flowers or foliage to wear on their adventures. The sweet and herbal smells from the crowns will discourage most Erku-native monsters from approaching, they assure - this is ancient knowledge from the planet’s long-gone civilization, so it can’t be wrong! What the robots don’t know is that the crowns have a deeper, more ritualistic purpose: after a few hours, the scent of flowers or herbs begins to awaken primal instincts within the wearer. Those who are wearing the foliage crowns feel overwhelmed by an urge to hunt, while those who wear the flower crowns delight in every opportunity to tease, outrun, and outwit the hunters. What happens when the chase ends? Well, that depends on the personalities and the chemistry between the hunters and their prey. While the robots are very insistent on placing crowns atop the heads of any Islander they see, they aren’t stuck on in any way and they are easy to remove, which can prevent or break the hunting trance. II. seeds and sap  Of particularly high credit value, the robots explain, is an elusive flower known as the skull sunflower. It appears exactly as one might imagine: at the center of an otherwise innocuous, towering sunflower is the gruesome visage of an open-mouthed skull. Don’t worry, the flowers are harmless! Even if it’s strange how the empty-socketed eyes seem to follow your every move. And why is it that the teeth - which, on closer inspection, are actually the seeds of the flower - only seem to chatter when your back is turned? Any Islander who can withstand their heebie-jeebies long enough to collect the petals and seeds from the flowers will fetch a handsome reward in credits upon exchange with the robots. Beware the sticky, blood-red sap that seeps from the eyes of each skull, however. Those who absorb too much through their skin will begin to hallucinate, visions of frightening or emotional events from their past dancing in the shadows. One might even mistakenly imagine that another Islander is someone they recognize from their past, someone who meant something to them - no matter whether that person is alive or dead in the present. The hallucinogenic effects of the sap can last for hours, or they can be shortened by a dip in the public baths. III. Tarot  Night comes, and in the darkness, a robot sets up a table by the beach. A solitary candle sits in the center, illuminating a deck of cards. F̶i̴n̵d̸ ̸y̶o̸u̸r̵ ̵f̵o̸r̷t̵u̶n̶e̷?̴ The robot reveals tarot cards and will do a variety of spreads to tell your fortune. Each fortune can be distilled into one central theme, which characters will find pervades their life for the next 24 hours. There is magic afoot: it can be sensed, and perhaps even dispelled, if luck is on your side. Though most robots on the island show a capacity for greater-than-average artificial intelligence, this pseudo-psychic 'bot -- M.S. Cl30 -- is less advanced. It only has six interpretations prepared:
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[ Jim stares back with some surprise of his own. He'd be amused by the reaction, except there's nothing really funny about it. It just doesn't sit well with him, the thought. Why would he bring up that he died only to not reassure Finn that it was all alright in the end?
Unless Finn met him from a different point in time. Like while he was dead. Maybe the Jim he met actually thought he was really dead. Hell if he knows anymore... ]
I didn't tell you about that?
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But he remembers the conversation, that James said that he had died once and how strange that sounded... And now Finn's been silent for an awkward amount of time. ]
No.
[ It's a little strangled, and Finn has to clear his throat. ]
We were arguing and it- I never brought it up again--
[ He's shaking his head, finding breathing suddenly a little difficult. It's not until after he feels a tear escape and quickly swipes it away with a trembling hand that he thinks he can't stay here for much longer. Not if he doesn't want to freak James out. Not if he can't handle this with a little less... relief.
Finn turns away on the bench, back to facing straight ahead again, and just tries to breathe. ]
Sorry... Sorry.
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[ See, that's definitely the kind of thing that just adds up on top of everything else, leaving him a little unsure, a little suspicious. The more he hears Finn talk about them, about— his berry-free apartment, Finn's pet liking him, all the things Jim's told him about his past, and now arguing.
It's not that friends don't argue, mind. And sure, friends can very well have sex, too. It just keeps sounding off to him, and he both dreads knowing, and so desperately wants to ask.
It's right there, at the tip of his tongue; are you sure we were just friends? But then Finn's crying, and the words die in his throat. ]
It's okay. I... don't apologize.
[ Not for being glad, or relieved, sad, upset. Not for any of this, honestly, when it's none of it his fault.
If they weren't strangers— scratch that; if Finn wasn't a stranger to him, he'd probably hug him right now, try to comfort him in some way. But it feels so... weird, right now. And part of him can't help worry and panic that Finn's going to just get attached to him far too quickly if he does something like that, and he's not sure if he can even deal with that right now. ]
You care about me. [ That much is obvious. He's not gonna use any stronger words because even if they were true, he's absolutely not ready to deal with that. ] I'm the one who's sorry, if I never told you everything about it. But... I can now. If you want to hear it.
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Even though, that's... exactly what he's doing. It makes Finn wish the ground would swallow him, no matter how many overwhelmingly positive emotions are beating against his skull right now.
But there is one good decision he can make, and that's not letting James relive something horrible just to fulfill Finn's morbid curiosity. He shakes his head at the ground, finally getting some air. ]
You don't have to tell me. I-... [ He usually cuts himself off because what he was about to say was stupid. This time, he's just at a loss for words. Deep breath. ] It's not your fault. It... wasn't even you. Or you don't remember it, or something like that. Besides, we- I was being a jerk and--
[ He lets out a long sigh, hanging his head, so very well aware that he's not making this situation any better. At least there are no delusions that things will be normal again. Whatever normal was. He's kind of half expecting that this is their last conversation, anyway. ]
It doesn't matter. You're okay, that's the... important thing... I'm so glad you're okay.
[ He'll just need to take about three hours to himself later but he can't let himself deal with that right now. ]
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It does feel weird, wanting to tell someone who should be a stranger about one of the most traumatizing experiences in his life, particularly when he's scarcely spoken about it since it happened. He didn't even bring it up with Bones once.
But, weird as it is, the fact is that Finn's not really a stranger. It's just going to take a while to wrap his head around that. ]
Okay, [ He says, because what else can he say to that? Yeah, he's okay, and alright, if Finn doesn't want to hear about it, then no need to share. So... back to sitting awkwardly next to him it is. ]
What do you wanna do now?
[ Does he want Jim to leave? Talk more? Go somewhere? He does feel kind of awkward now, but he also can't bring himself to just leave Finn there. ]
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Besides- He shakes his head again. ]
That's not up to me. [ Both in the short- and long-term. ] If you want to grill me with questions, I'll answer what I can. If you want to walk away and pretend this never happened, I'll keep my distance. You're at a disadvantage here, and I- I don't want to make it worse... Usually, I wouldn't have even approached in the first place but--
[ But he's an idiot. He lifts a hand as if in a shrug and slaps it back down on the bench's edge. At least he's breathing now, even though he does have to use the other hand to get rid of the blur in his eyes.
If this were anyone else, he'd make the decision for them, do what he thought was best for them. But he's done that twice with James before and both got a lecture, one more so than the other. ]
All I want to do right now is whatever's best for you, but I don't know what that is.
[ And cry a lot and maybe hold him for awhile, but, yeah. Not a helpful answer, but he hopes James will think a little selfishly. ]
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[ It's mild chiding, but not serious, and he follows it with a smile, and a sigh, shaking his head. He runs his hand through his hair, down the back his neck, overwhelmed and confused and kind of at a loss of what to do.
What does he want? Hell if he knows.
But he does know what he doesn't want. And he doesn't want to forget all about this conversation, he doesn't want to walk away. Whatever Finn had with him was special, and...
Well, maybe it's curiosity, maybe it's something else. Some silly hope that he can find something special now, too. ]
I don't want to walk away. And I don't want you to avoid me, okay?
[ Whether or not Finn manages to look at him, he gets to his feet. Then he holds out a hand for him to take. ]
Come on. Let's just go for a walk or something.
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Finn stares up at him for a second then down at his hand. It's almost an awkward amount of time that passes, but he's quick enough to grab the offered hand and rise. He'd heard there was something here, something like Chroma but not, but the touch feels just the same as it always had. He doesn't question it, nor does he think about letting go versus holding on, too preoccupied with... everything else. So, of course, he doesn't let go. ]
Thank you. [ No matter how thankful Finn feels, he probably shouldn't have said it. More awkwardness and all that. So he rolls right over it and starts their walk, trying to think of something to lighten the mood a little... ]
That pet I had? It was a goose I got on accident that decided my place was his now. You managed to negotiate a truce to our little cold war and named him Waldo. Said it was some character you used to know about.
[ It's a bleak day when Waldo is the safe subject. Sure, Finn feels exhausted and kinda numb and mostly overwhelmed but... this is okay. ]
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He smiles at Finn. The thanks may seem weird but he welcomes it regardless. At least it looks a little less like he's falling apart, though he can't help but wonder how much of that is thanks to their hands being linked together.
If it helps, he's not going to question it. It does feel nice. Jim's always been a tactile person, and it's been... God, it's been years since he's simply held hands with anyone. ]
You had a goose? [ He can't help but laugh at that. ] Oh my God, that's so... cute. Kind of a weird pet, I'll admit, but...
[ He chuckles, looking at Finn. ] Oh, yeah. It's an old animated character in my world. You mean I named your pet?
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But, yeah. You did. I couldn't think of anything, and you thought it might help with the tension. Besides, Waldo made it pretty clear that he liked you best.
[ Which is something Finn never once considered being the least bit upset by. Finn liked James best, too. At least they didn't fight over him too badly...
Fuck, Finn misses the damn goose. ]
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Maybe he liked me best because I actually thought of giving him a name, [ He points out with a small chuckle, glancing at Finn. Seeing that look in his face.
Without thought, he gives his hand a firm squeeze. ]
He didn't make it here with you, did he? [ His smile dies a little. Still there, just... sadder. ] I'm sorry.
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He breathes a laugh, though it would have been just as half-hearted if James hadn't said that last bit. Regardless, Finn automatically squeezes back. ]
Mm. Thank you, but it's okay. He's probably ripping my old bed apart as we speak just like he's always wanted to do. [ He does take a second not only to mourn the loss of Poe again but to feel a great deal of sympathy for the poor guy being left with that mess. ]
He'll be all right. Wish you could meet him again, though. You'd still love him, I think.
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The difficult part is going to be figuring out where to draw a line, if a line even needs to be drawn. Because he knows himself, and he knows how easy it would be for him to just... fall into this. Pull Finn in for a kiss, or drag him into bed. But how fair would it be to do something like that to Finn, when it becomes more and more obvious that he bears much deeper feelings for Jim than he's told him? ]
Well, at least now you get to have a bed all to yourself again.
[ Somehow talking about Waldo feels like they're just making things worse. Clearing his throat, he tries to change topics. ]
So what do you make of this place? What do you think, so far?
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But what does he think of this place... Good question. Excellent question, actually, since it gets his mind off of them and back on the situation. ]
It's a lot like Prismatica. Save the planet by hugging it out, basically. It was the same thing there, like whatever energy we created could restore life or something. It didn't make much sense but it worked.
The thing is, back there, we knew what we were helping the planet with. We knew that something had happened a century ago that nearly destroyed everything and that we were there to help fix it. It was vague and not enough... but it's more than what we have now. Something about an AI trying to rebuild a civilization no one knows about or is even sure existed.
I don't like it.
... But I don't like most things like this. The first time I left home, it didn't really end well.
[ If you were expecting "decent weather, pretty beaches, nice people, good food" then you're talking to the wrong guy. ]
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Prismatica sounds different. Hugging it out apparently doesn't quite cut it, over here.
[ He presses his lips in, frowning. ]
I... haven't been here long enough to say one way or the other how it works here, but I've spoken to a few people, and from the looks of it, the energy you summon through sex actually does seem to be able to... create things, somehow?
[ He shoots Finn a confused shrug. Yeah, he can't really explain that. ]
Either way, it doesn't look like people are very focused on why or how we ended up here. We don't know if we're helping the planet per se— it's more about survival, in this instance. No sex, no energy. No energy, no food, no supplies, no safety.
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You would think a lot of people wouldn't need that kind of incentive, but I guess that's just the way things are. [ After all, no people, no sex. Though, sex is a really weird power source, to be honest. Especially on a planet of robots. It just-
It just doesn't make any sense to him. In a weird way, the whole Chroma thing made more sense than this. ]
The only thing that worries me is the chance that we'll repeat whatever happened to the first people here. Or if something brought us here with the intention to repeat it.
There's no harm in enjoying ourselves. [ And he- He doesn't mean- Like- Not them two- Like- Anyway. ] Just being away from home can be stressful enough for many. I just don't want to let my guard down yet.
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[ Jim's not so trusting, and he has a few theories roaming around in his mind. Namely, what might be hiding beyond that fog, if what or whoever took them might be watching them all the while, for whatever reason.
Frankly, getting a bunch of people together just to get them to bang sounds all sorts of screwed up, but also kind of pointless? Even if it might generate this so-called energy. But then, if this really is what this planet runs on...
His thoughts trail off at Finn's last comment. His grin widens and he chuckles, eyes bright as he bites back the reflexive urge to tease him or flirt. Either. Both. ]
I don't blame you for that. [ His smile subsides, and he looks ahead again. Tucking Finn a little closer just because. ] At the very least we can try to find people we can rely on.
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But he doesn't pull away. He only tenses for a beat before forcing himself to relax again. He... tries to make it seem like no big deal despite his heart trying to ram out of his ribcage.
Right, they were talking. Relying on people, right... He is not going to dig for the double meaning in there, even though he's pretty certain that's what James meant. ]
I think we can manage that. It's the first thing everyone looks for in a place like this... And everyone likes you, besides, so you'll be all right. [ That is definitely a bit of a tease, evident by a tiny smile even if he's looking straight ahead, but also entirely true as far as Finn's seen. ]
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It's also probably encouraging him to just keep pushing for a bit more, little by little, even as he tries his best not to overwhelm Finn too much.
He'd... definitely leap head first into this if it weren't for the fact that Finn already knows him from before, already has a connection with him somehow. So he can easily imagine why they ended up sleeping together. (Probably pretty quickly after they met too, he's guessing, but Jim doesn't ask.) ]
Will you? [ He tilts his head, even though Finn isn't looking at him. ] Would you rely on me?
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James didn't ask if Finn would trust him. He asked if he'd rely on him. Even before, that's a tall request to make, because- A memory strikes him hard and he closes his eyes, another breathless laugh getting out of him. ]
I told you once that I didn't want to burden you. It wasn't something you wanted to hear.
[ Finn bows his head and looks up at him from beneath his lashes, more like a wince than something shy. ]
I would. If you wanted me to, if you let me. I trust you.
[ Progress is so slow but, holy cow, that is definitely progress. ]
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That does sound like the kind of thing I wouldn't like to hear, yeah.
[ See, little things he keeps learning, and in such a short amount of time. It does put him more at ease, though. That Finn doesn't hold back from pointing out when Jim says something he's said before, when a certain question or action reminds him of something that's happened between them. Makes him trust easier.
He presses his lips in, slowing them down and turning a bit to look at Finn and nod. ]
Yeah, I want you to. [ And he's glad to hear Finn trusts him. He really feels like he'll get to that point, too. ]
I can't... promise it to be like it was. With— him. Me. [ The other one. God, this is confusing. ] But I like you, so far. I can see why we... you know.
[ Got along so well. Slept together. Had something. ]
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Just hearing that he's liked makes most of those more troubling emotions fall away, a warmth spreading through his chest and burning down a lot of that sadness from before. He begins to lift James' hand to press a kiss to his knuckles, but then he remembers and only manages to jostle their joined hands, his head bowed a little again.
At least his smile isn't restrained. ]
That's good... That's good. I'm glad. I, uh- I never want to pressure you or something. I don't expect things to be what they were. But- [ He takes a deep breath and musters some courage to look at him. ] But I'm happy to get the chance to know you again.
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I feel like you do know me already, [ He points out with a little smile. ] I'm the one who's getting to know you again.
[ He may be different in some ways, but so far everything that Finn's told him, everything he's done? Seems to be about what he'd expect from this. ]
I don't want to pressure you either, [ He points out. ] That said, I... do have a request. If you have the time, like... today, or another day. I'd just like to know everything I can think of. Sort of like a crash course. Is that too much, would you rather take it slow again?
[ Jim would just rather have it all dumped on him, at this time. He's never been the type to want to wait or be patient or take his time anyway. He'd prefer just knowing everything, then hopefully he'd feel a little closer to whatever place Finn's at in relation to them both. ]
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Though, there were things that Finn was a little uncomfortable with admitting, both good and bad. Yet, discomfort or no, it wouldn't be fair to turn the request down or pick and choose what to hand over. He already knew everything once, after all, and that worked out okay.
But even if it doesn't this time, it shouldn't matter. James should still know. ]
It's not too much, and I absolutely have the time. I'll try to do the best I can.
Is there anywhere you want me to start or-...? [ It's a lot, now that he really thinks about it, and he kinda wants to write down notes so he doesn't miss anything, but he can still figure out somewhere to start. ]
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No, not here. I claimed a place on the main building, can we go there?
[ God knows for how long they might end up talking, at least there they'll be relatively comfortable and have all the privacy they might need. ]
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