TDM 004: WASHED ASHORE

[erkumods]

TDM 004: WASHED ASHORE

Arrival This time, you come out of the water. While the Augur reboots, the Nameless Island's own inherent energy draws people in. It's like being suspended between realities and walking through a rift in dimensions. It may make you sick, or that might be the motion of the ocean, lifting you and carrying you to shore. Waterlogged and covered in sand, new arrivals will be greeted by robots who welcome them with towels and bracelet devices. The A5 card is already loaded up. Inventory will be found a day later, wrapped up haphazardly and delivered to each person's makeshift home. ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● I. Feel the friendship! Recent arrivals and visitors to the beach may notice a sudden influx of hundreds of bright red crustaceans crawling (and coupling) across the sand. It's crab mating season, as it turns out, it's a regular invasion! To keep the beach a pleasant place to gather for the island's inhabitants, the robots are offering credits to especially enterprising crab-catchers. Grab a bucket and get to work! Be sure to watch out for their pinch, mind you. Their little claws are tiny, but that doesn’t mean they don’t hurt. Surprisingly, there is another effect that even the robots don't anticipate: islanders who are pinched by the crabs find themselves feeling instantly buddy-buddy with the next person they spot. Did you just become best friends?! Get pinched one too many times, however, and those feelings may sour into a crabby mood, indeed. If you are feeling particularly vengeful (or just hungry), the little crabs do make for delicious gumbo. Once cooked, they have no side effects whatsoever. ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● II. Phallus Phestival Although the Augur is offline and supplies are scarce, the robots of Erku are still eager to make their run-down little island a welcoming place for the new arrivals. To that end, they have arranged a three day festival to boost morale and promote the generation of plenty of Eros energy to assist in the restoration of the damaged and decayed parts of the city. The robots claim that this celebration was once a cornerstone of the long-lost civilization of the island. By the dawn of the first day, every island resident will find at their doorstep (or tent flap, mobile suit, etc) the traditional costume of the ancient islanders to wear to the festival. It appears to be... a giant sheet? There doesn’t seem to be any rhyme or reason to the sometimes garish colors and patterns of the fabric, but at least the robots have uploaded instructions on how to wear it to your bracelet device. Attendees will find food (mostly crab-flavored), confections, and household necessities in rather suggestive shapes, as well as goods you might find handy to complete your A5 squares: sex toys, pervertibles, sexy maid outfits, and the like. While islanders are welcome to set up shop on the festival grounds and sell (or charge) whatever they like, all items from the robots are offered up for free to those who wear their traditional island garb! ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● III. Fireside Adventures Each night of the festival is wrapped up in style with an enormous bonfire on the beach, where drinks, fruity cocktails, and lively music appropriate for dancing is all provided at no cost by the robots. Even if you’re not usually much of a dancer, the longer you stand by the fire and allow it to warm your limbs, the more you feel like moving! Not only that, but everyone is looking quite beautiful by the firelight, are they not? If you’ve grown tired - or if dancing just isn’t your thing - you might prefer to sit back and swap stories on one of the many driftwood log benches the robots have prepared for seating. Or, maybe you’d prefer to rough it for the night in one of the beachside canvas tents. Better claim one quick, though, or be prepared to share… there’s only one sleeping bag! ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● N A V I G A T I O N

Comments

[instrumentalized]

Is a snack that isn't phallic really too much to ask for?

[ Evidently the answer is yes. ]

I don't wish to disrespect the local... culture, but there are simply some things that a noble should not do!

[marmoron]

Don't ask me. I'm not the one that chose the theme.

[ Much munch on his now balls-less taiyaki. ]

And look, I hate to break it to you, but something tells me the locals here don't give a damn you're a noble and would probably find your embarrassment funny, so you might wanna adjust quicly.

[instrumentalized]

[ Garma raises his eyebrows, equal parts offended and haughty. ]

They're robots. They do not have that kind of emotion.

[ Though they do have a culture entirely designed around sex, but that's... different from feelings. Arguable, it is worse. ]

[marmoron]

You don't think robots can be programmed to function as if they have a sense of schadenfreude?

[ Not an engineer but he's sure a Holt could do that no problem. Either way, he shrugs. ]

But what's the fuss over anyway? Are nobles not supposed to touch dicks?

[instrumentalized]

[ ... do you... do you have to ask it so straight-forward? Is that really a thing you need to do? Garma clears his throat awkwardly before responding. ]

Certainly not in public. Do you not have nobility where you are from or are you playing willfully obtuse?

[marmoron]

[ Keith grins fractionally. ]

Haven't really interacted with a lot of nobility before, no.

[ A beat. ]

If you need me to turn around so you can grab a dick to eat in private, I can do that.

[instrumentalized]

[ ...

..... ]

That... might actually be appreciated.

[ This is silly. He knows it is silly. But maybe if he just buys something to eat and cuts it or breaks it into a different shape first thing, that's going to be helpful? ]

[marmoron]

[ He hadn't actually been serious in making that offer, but... ]

You're ... really gonna struggle here, aren't you.

[instrumentalized]

[ ... do not call him out. ]

It's an adjustment period!

[marmoron]

[ Still looking incredulous, Keith glances down at his taiyaki and then takes a bite out of the head. ]

Don't you handle an actual dick at least once a day?

[instrumentalized]

I--

[ HOW CAN ONE HUMAN BEING BE SO BLUNT?? ]

I mean, I suppose, but that's-- that is completely different, isn't it? It's a private matter.

[marmoron]

Sure. But it's not like you intend on doing anything private with this food, right?

[instrumentalized]

... I'm not!!

[ Please do not mind the way his voice actually goes up in pitch at that. He closes his eyes and takes a deep breath right after, because this is just. This is embarrassing. Unbefitting. He can't be like this.

And he will purchase some damn food now, just to prove a point!! ]

[marmoron]

[ Keith will watch this transaction in silence, unsure of how to feel at this point. ]

... would this be easier for you if all this stuff was vagina shaped?

[instrumentalized]

[ There is another twitch from Garma. He is not usually this twitchy, he swears, this is just. Degrading!! ]

No! It's the obscenity, not the--- specific configuration.

[marmoron]

[ It'd be funny if it weren't also starting to be slightly concerning. ]

Guessing you haven't figured out what the robots want you to do yet.

[instrumentalized]

[ He's just going to angrily bite the tip of this dick. That makes it less dick-shaped. It's done now, okay? Band-aid ripped off. He got this. ]

They aren't precisely subtle about it. And yet, I think of these matters as private and best not flaunted like this. Decorum, you know?

[marmoron]

The robots could be forcing you to things. It could be a lot worse.

[ Not that he disagrees with the point. ]

[instrumentalized]

... I realize this.

[ That is... certainly a mood-killer of a hypothetical, even if the mood so far was mostly 'offended rage'. Garma's expression turns more serious instantly. ]

For all that this island is desolate and largely abandoned, we are also being provided for quite well.

[marmoron]

[ Keith sighs, taking another bite out of his taiyaki. With the head and balls now gone it almost looks like normal food again. ]

Not that that's a reason to stay complacent. There has to be a way to get back to our own worlds.

[instrumentalized]

I am sure there is. It would be absurd if the travel between universes could not be reversed or replicated in some form.

[ But that is... a difficult topic in and of itself, for Garma. So he's actually going to take a bite to distract himself, too. Now that he is eating instead of panicking about eating, it's really just food. ]

It's not necessarily an option for myself, but I am hoping for the best for everyone.

[marmoron]

Why? What happened to you?

[ That's probably not the most sensitive follow up question, but it's out there in the aether now. ]

[instrumentalized]

[ Garma briefly considers keeping it a secret, but there is a coffin and a giant funeral portrait at the beach and at this point it just feels kind of weird to not own up. ]

I am dead in my world. This place gave me a second life, it appears. Do not ask me how I feel about this, I haven't figured it out myself.

[marmoron]

How is that even possible?

[ Well that diverts all of Keith's attention to Garma who is now getting a proper up-gpwn glance. ]

You don't look like a zombie.

[instrumentalized]

I'm not--

[ ... or maybe he is, actually. He cannot dispute this with nearly as much certainty as he wants to. Dead and then revived? Maybe he is a zombie. What an awful word. ]

I don't know how they did it - believe me I would much like to. All I can say for certain is that I died before coming here.