ercookies | TDM 015: IT'S ALWAYS SUNNY IN PARADISE

Entry tags:

!tdm

TDM 015: IT'S ALWAYS SUNNY IN PARADISE

00. Arrival

You come out of the water, the Nameless Island's own inherent energy drawing people in. It's like being suspended between realities and abruptly pushed from behind through a rift in dimensions. It may make you sick, or that might be the motion of the ocean, lifting you to the surface and carrying you to shore.

Waterlogged and covered in sand, new arrivals will be greeted by robots who welcome them with towels and bracelet devices. The A5 card is already loaded up. If you don’t manage to get away from them quickly enough, they may even usher you toward the Laid Bare Spa, where new arrivals will be offered free massages, a sauna, hairstyling, and their clothing may come up permanently missing. But you will be given a complimentary towel to leave with if needed!

Feel free to explore the Island, though there isn’t much to see beyond what arrivals before you have helped to rebuild. Most of the buildings are abandoned and in dire need of repair, and beyond the city lingers a thick fog that obscures much of the wilderness from view. Wander too far into this fog, and you will find yourself mysteriously looping back to where you began, your memories of what you were doing and how you got there erased.

With that in mind, it may be wise to stake your claim on a place to live in the now, whether a rundown apartment in the City, a tent on the beach, a bed in the barracks, or your own space at the House of Worship. Your inventory will be found a day later, wrapped up haphazardly and delivered to each person's makeshift home.

● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ●

I. Beach Episode

Welcome to your beautiful and sunny island paradise, Erku! ...wait, it's sunny? That's right! For about two weeks, the Island will enjoy unusually warm and clear weather, just perfect for enjoying the cool waters of the beach. Don't swim out too far, however, lest you stray into hazardous choppy waters or get lost in the fog that still lingers beyond the peaceful cove. Just stay close, and you're golden! Once again, friendly robots have erected beachside food stalls for grilling fish and crabs, and encourage any enterprising Islanders to help hawk foods for credits.

If gutting and cleaning fish isn't your forte, however, never fear. The robots are recruiting for a very important task! You see, they have very thoughtfully set up swimming and snorkeling lessons for any Islanders who are doubting their skills at staying afloat, or who just want to have some fun in the waves. There is only one complication: the robots are too heavy to swim.

Enter, you! Earn credits by instructing your fellow Islanders in the marvels of the ocean. Not just swimming and snorkeling, but also fishing, clam digging, and sand castle art - among other things - are valuable skills you can sell.

● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ●

II. Sand Sport

For the more competitive sort, the robots of Erku are happy to share a bit of culture from the planet's ancient past: wet sand wrestling! Volunteers (or any innocent Islander roped off the beach by an enthusiastic 'bot) don their skimpiest swimwear and duke it out for dominance in the wet sand by trying to throw their opponent outside of a ring. Knock-outs count as an automatic lose, so be careful! Oh, and no worries if you aren't particularly strong. Before the match, competitors are offered a a special drink - simply named "The Creamy" - an ancient recipe which is said to temporarily increase your strength and vitality. One shot of this, and anyone could take on Goliath! (And not just in a fight.)

By the way… those who lose the competition are mysteriously compelled to accompany the victor for the day, waiting on them hand and foot, anticipating and fulfilling their needs before they are spoken. Did the 'bots forget to mention that?

● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ●

III. Graciously Given Gifts

While swimming in the nude is completely acceptable on the Island, the robots know that many residents still (for some reason) value their modesty. That is why they are happy to encourage beachside revelry and communion by making sure scanty swimwear is readily available to Islanders who are in need of something to cover up with - while still showing off your assets, of course. Islanders may purchase for themselves, but they are especially encouraged to gift swimwear to their fellow Islanders... in fact, any swimwear to be given as a gift is free! Not only is it a lovely gesture to let a friend or lover know you appreciate their body, but also, swimwear received as a gift is said to be very good luck in wet sand wrestling competitions.

Naturally, the robots are sensitive to the emotional needs of their organic charges, and thus they wouldn't want any new, recent, or less personable arrivals to the Island to feel left out for not receiving gifts. That's why some Islanders will find surprise swimsuits in pretty gift wrap sitting on their literal or metaphorical doorstep… addressed with love from a random Islander! With thoughtfully written messages included, of course, usually complimenting the recipient's figure in graphic and/or poetic terms.

If you have any manners, surely you'll find these mystery admirers and thank them for the lovely gift! (If you're really a person of culture, maybe you'll even show it off for them.)

● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ●

N A V I G A T I O N

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Felix is so taken aback that the pain of being slapped while his face is sunburnt to hell doesn't even register at first. He doesn't think he's ever seen Linhardt even get angry at all, much less voluntarily hit someone. All he can really do at first is stare while Linhardt rants.

No, Felix had never been to Remire until he was called upon to attack innocent civilians in the throes of some horrible dark magic that made them try to kill each other. If Linhardt thinks that alone wasn't enough to scar him for life, he's wrong.

Some of what the mage says makes sense. Dimitri's already told them everything he discovered about the conspiracy behind the Tragedy of Duscur, and Cornelia (or whoever replaced her) was clear about his stepmother being involved. Arundel wasn't subtle about his taunting, either.

But other things make no sense at all.

"...ow" is Felix's first response to any of that, as the sting finally gets persistent enough that he notices it. He brings a hand up to his face, but that doesn't even help; touching it only makes it worse. He's never going out into the sun again.

"Huh, I'm impressed. I didn't think you had enough strength in those spindly arms of yours to even take a swing." Strangely, this might be the most cordial thing Felix has said to Linhardt since he sat down; he's not mocking, he's legitimately and pleasantly surprised. Go figure.

But then he narrows his eyes. "You can't possibly claim Edelgard doesn't support them with a straight face. Cornelia took Fhirdiad in your Emperor's name. It was the Hresvelg banner flying over the palace while that monster was in it. If you really didn't know that, maybe you should start thinking seriously about those assassination plans of yours."

The jab about Seiros just gets him blinking, though. Felix doesn't even have any evidence that what happened with Miklan had anything to do with those shapeshifters at all, but he assumes it did, considering everything else they've done. And it isn't the thing that upsets him most, nor why he hated Cornelia, but he's not about to talk about Dimitri again in this conversation.

"What are you talking about? What does Seiros have to do with Sylvain? Or anything else?"

Edited 2021-07-20 22:02 (UTC)

He bristles, ready to start another rant, when Felix shows the one thing that could make Linhardt stop and reconsider: Confusion.

Goddess, hasn't he been there? Felix knows even less than he had before arriving on Erku and putting his information together with Seteth's. Felix is more like his seven year old self running through gilded halls in Enbarr: Able to understand that what he's seeing and hearing means something, but not sure what, and not able to ask.

All the anger drains out of the mage and he silently lifts a hand and summons some magic to deal with both the slap and Felix's sunburn. It's not a severe injury, it takes barely any thought to heal it.

"Caspar has always insisted I know how to take care of myself. Events unfolded differently in my Fodlan: Cornelia did not take Fhirdiad, she was in Ariarnrod. We specifically went there in order to attack her forces. I assure you that if my Edelgard were enthusiastically participating in their crimes rather than planning on disposing of them at the first opportunity, I would not support her."

As for the rest... Linhardt rubs his forehead. Where does he even begin?

"There's a lot. Do you really want to know everything? I believe I have a fairly complete picture at this juncture."

The sudden healing surprises Felix; he didn't even notice that he'd started to become used to the constant discomfort and sting until it's abruptly gone. Oh, maybe this explains why Linhardt isn't red at all. Huh. He shifts into a position that's more comfortable now that he doesn't have to sit very carefully anymore.

To his credit, Felix's temper dies down quickly, too. People often say he's angry all the time, but he isn't (at least, not nowadays); it's just that when he expresses other strong emotions, they tend to come out looking like anger, too. He gives Linhardt a nod in thanks.

At the question, he frowns. "I doubt I need to know everything. Just the important parts."

That won't do. Linhardt can't decide what's important: He doesn't know Felix well enough to know what the other man would find important. Everything it is then. He stands silently under the umbrella for a few moments, gathering his thoughts and sifting through them to decide how to proceed.

"First, I should share my information sources with you. Then you can judge what I tell you. My sources are a combination of Adrestian historical record, professional knowledge, and talks with Seteth. To begin with, Rhea is Saint Seiros and Seteth is Saint Cichol. Flayn is Saint Cethleann. So I trust his recollection of history since it's a first-hand account. As for my contribution, my family maintains the Adrestian archives which contain information on the Empire's internal affairs as well as the oldest and most complete information that was never subject to Church oversight as all the documents have been in our possession since Adrestia's founding."

There. That is a satisfactory preamble.

"I suppose we should begin with the fact that the War of Heroes is a lie, as is the origin of Crests. Well, yours anyway."

Linhardt sounds slightly apologetic. He's seen how Lorenz has reacted to what he's about to tell Felix, and he can't pretend to understand. His Crest is a sign of an affection between the Saints and his ancestor.

"The 10 Heroes fought against Seiros, with Nemesis. The Sword of the Creator is made from Sothis's remains, and the other Relics are the remains of her children. That's also where your Crest comes from."

Felix is not a big-picture sort of person. When something gets too far out of scope for him, he stops caring about it. So some of this--how the War of Heroes really went, the origins of relics and Crests--doesn't really have much of an effect on him. Surprising? Sure. Revelations? Sort of, he supposes. Relevant to Felix's life? No, not really.

Some of it, though...

"Wait. Stop. What do you mean, Seteth is Saint Cichol and Flayn is Cethleann? How is that possible? You're saying they and Rhea are a thousand years old?"

(No, Felix, they're older than that.)

His brow furrows. "The relics are the remains of other Children of the Goddess? Including the Crest stones?" Because wow, the Lance of Ruin is the creepiest thing he's ever seen in his life, and that would explain a lot. "And what do you mean, that's where my Crest comes from? Why not yours--oh. It's Cethleann. So...your Crest came from Flayn? And mine came from, what, some dead saint?"

Wait...

"Wait a minute, Sothis is Seteth's mother?"

Dear Sothis. This is why people exhaust him. Linhardt can't even pretend to be able to follow Felix's train of thought. And the questions are the worst part of things like this: They're things he has to answer spontaneously and not in an organized fashion. Ugh. Stripping things of context.

"More. I don't know their precise age, but I'd wager at least three or four thousand. Except for Flayn: I'm not entirely sure how old she is."

"Yes, including the Crest stones. Crest stones are the hearts of the dead." There's not really a nice way to put that, so Linhardt defaults to clinical language, "Yes. The Saints' Crests were gifts to allies of the Goddess. I'm not sure how they were given to us, though. There are also other Crests: One of the Heroes was turned into a Beast and erased from Church history." But not from the Adrestian archive, which is how Linhardt had figured out about Marianne.

"Your Crest was given to your ancestor by Solon's group after they slaughtered the rest of Sothis's children. They killed them and turned their bodies into Relics and Crests. Yes, Sothis is Seteth's mother, as well as Rhea's. And Indech's, but he doesn't speak to anyone."

'Oh yes, by the way, I also know where Saint Indech is and went to go see him.'

"...huh. No wonder Seteth gives such good advice. And no wonder Flayn is so weird."

Felix takes a moment to process this information about Crests and Crest stones, but it's the part about the slaughter that catches his attention. It makes a lot of other pieces fall into place that he didn't even really notice were out of place before. Like why Seteth is so protective of Flayn. And why Solon's group keeps trying to kill Byleth. But it makes some things make less sense.

"Isn't Sothis Flayn's mother, as well? She's Seteth's sister." Isn't she?

"I don't understand. If the Ten Elites were Rhea's enemies who killed most of her family and usurped their power to make weapons" --and by 'weapons' he means both the relics and the Crests themselves-- "why would the Church create a society where their descendants are in power?"

Felix tries not to think too hard yet about the fact that the monsters he so despises were responsible for his Crest. Responsible for Sylvain's Crest, and all the bullshit his family put him through over it. Mercedes, Ingrid, Dimitri...so many of his friends have suffered because of their Crests, products of murdered saints and stolen blood.

"...hmph. Unless it was a punishment. Our society isn't exactly kind or fair to anyone, noble or commoner. Or Rhea wanted us as cannon fodder against the inevitable return of Solon's people. But still, I don't see why Seteth and Flayn are so...nice to us."

Seteth can't secretly hate him, isn't grooming him for death against the shapeshifters' blades to protect his family...right?

"Does he? I argue with it most of the time." Linhardt's eyes sparkle slightly, he can't help it. He does agree that Seteth is a good conversationalist once he warms up to you. That Felix agrees suggests Seteth likes him. That's good.

"Flayn is actually Seteth's daughter. They pretend she's his sister as part of the subterfuge. So Sothis is her grandmother." Which is why he'd unnerved Flayn so back in the academy, Linhardt supposes.

Linhardt raises an eyebrow at the supposition that Rhea essentially farmed them as cannon fodder. Even he hadn't jumped to that pessimistic a conclusion and he'd been about to aid in her murder back in Fodlan.

"I don't pretend to know about Rhea's reasoning and I think you should ask Flayn and Seteth about theirs directly. I can say that the decisions weren't uncontested: Macuil and Indech live but withdrew from human affairs. They believe we can't be trusted."

"So do I. But he usually turns out to be right in the end." If he picked up on any humor in what Linhardt said, he doesn't show it. But it does make him wonder--since when is Linhardt on such good terms with the Archbishop's right hand? They had to have been enemies in the Fodlan Linhardt comes from, right? There's no way Seteth would turn on his own sister. Hmm.

"Huh. So she isn't really a 'Child of the Goddess' after all." Not that it makes much difference.

"Flayn is here as well? It's a shame I didn't see her earlier. She would have enjoyed the fruit slicing, I'm sure." Strange as she is, Flayn has a lot of wise things to say, just like her br--her father. Felix just had to cut through a pile of frivolous chores to find it. ...literally.

"I'll ask them, then. But what do you mean, human affairs? Are the saints not human?" They look human enough to him...

"Sometimes." He waves a hand in the air to indicate that sometimes he thinks Seteth is correct. Fundamentally, he and Seteth disagree on many issues but they realize that a.) those issues aren't of any practical concern in Erku and b.) they're the only ones who understand those issues enough to disagree on them. There's a camaraderie in that.

"A grandchild, technically. Interesting to consider Sothis as a grandmother. It doesn't really seem to suit her." At least based on his understanding.

Now it's Linhardt's turn to give Felix a blank look. Fruit slicing? Then again, he hadn't talked to Flayn since leaving the academy and in his Fodlan, she's dead. So there's that.

He pinches the bridge of his nose and closes his eyes. Really, Felix. They're literally the children of a Goddess and thousands of years old. How would they be human? Sylvain must be the brains of that duo; Linhardt never talked with either of them much.

"They're not. Rhea and Seteth are dragons. Indech is more like a turtle? I have drawings from after we found him if you'd like to look. But they can change forms to look like us. Please be delicate if you raise this matter with Seteth: It's a source of emotion for him. Be clear it doesn't matter."

Does it? Hopefully not.

"Tch. Who knows what suits any of them at this point, when apparently nothing we've ever been told about any of them is true." Felix shrugs. He's never been a particularly religious person, so this doesn't really horrify him or anything. But it's annoying to have to second-guess things that were drilled into his head his whole life.

At the blank look, Felix rolls his eyes. "Flayn likes to throw things at me to chop up in midair. I don't know why. But it did lead to some enlightening conversation, so I suppose it wasn't a complete waste of time. Anyway, the automata refused to give me any food until I taught a bunch of obnoxious strangers how to slice watermelon with a sword."

Listen, they could just have been very long-lived humans! Felix didn't know he knew anyone who wasn't human, give him a break. Little does Linhardt know that he's absolutely right about Sylvain being the brains between them in most things, but that's only because Sylvain is a hell of a lot smarter than he lets anyone give him credit for, the idiot.

"Dragons? Seteth's a dragon?" Felix blinks. He's only ever seen one dragon, and thought there was ever only one. And wasn't entirely convinced the Immaculate One was ever real to begin with, until they saw it in person at the battle of Garreg Mach. ...oh, that was probably--

"So the Immaculate One is Rhea? It can't be Seteth, he was elsewhere on the field when that dragon showed up to decimate your forces." There's no smug or contentious tone, here, just a factual statement--that's what happened. "I'd think Seteth would have used that kind of power once the war had dragged on long enough, though. Is Flayn a dragon as well?"

Then he gives Linhardt a funny look. Felix doesn't know him well at all, but he's never heard anything that made him think the mage was someone who would give half a shit about being delicate with someone's feelings. Hell, Linhardt's one of the few people Felix respects specifically for never bothering to coddle anyone or hold back what he thinks. Huh.

"Ah. Yes. That. I've...always known that the Church embellished certain things." He just wasn't allowed to go around shouting about it, for obvious reasons. 'Hello, everyone, look at the cache of unapproved history(tm) we're keeping over here!' Don't taunt the Church of Seiros, Linhardt.

Even if they deserve it.

"That's kind of them to introduce you to island life so gently." Linhardt sounds more amused by the food story than anything else. Given his experiences on Erku, he is.

"Yes, the Immaculate One is Rhea who is Saint Seiros. Seteth has a dragon's form, but until very recently an old injury prevented him from accessing it. I'm not entirely sure about Flayn." He isn't close enough to her to ask. Most of his conversations with Flayn have been fairly awkward, actually: Even when she'd been alive in his Fodlan, his primary interest in her had been discovering her secret and now he just... knows. So he's not sure what to say to her.

'Embellished' is certainly one word for 'completely rewrite history as basically the opposite of what happened and just so happen to set yourself up as both leader and figure of worship of the religion that has a chokehold on society and enforces a Crest system that screws over basically everyone.'

...okay, so maybe Felix understands some of Edelgard's motivations. That doesn't explain why someone like Seteth would go along with it, though...ugh.

Felix arches a brow. "Kind? If you say so." He's not even going to begin to mention the other notable introduction he had, in the sand wrestling ring.

"I'm surprised you haven't asked her, considering everything else you appear to know. That's an important tactical detail to just overlook. So Seteth has a dragon's form...was his injury healed here on the island?"

Well, he hadn't known in that level of detail to be fair.

"There are a number of rather disturbing things about this island: Being forced to perform work, while annoying, is pleasant in comparison." It's all relative.

Linhardt shakes his head. Felix has misunderstood.

"We did not share information for tactical reasons. It's fairly obvious that if we go home we'll be stripped of our memories. If we're not, what I've learned from Seteth is the least of what I could use for change in my Fodlan."

The jump in technology and scientific understanding alone would immediately put Adrestia nearly on par with the Agarthans.

Linhardt flushes slightly. He knows how Seteth 'earned' his 'healing'.

"Yes, it was."

A disgruntled huff is Felix's only response to this talk of disturbing things about the island. Yes, he's heard by now, and intends to stay far away from all of it.

Now that Linhardt points it out, it does seem sort of obvious that they wouldn't remember any of this after they left, but he sure isn't going to give the mage the satisfaction of admitting that.

"Still, with your constant need to poke your nose into everyone else's business, sparing Flayn seems uncharacteristic. Unless she refused to speak with you, in which case, I don't blame her." Listen, he doesn't dislike Linhardt, and despite his major Crest has never been bullied into talking about it with him. He doesn't even sound annoyed. This is just how he is.

Felix narrows his eyes at the strange turn Linhardt's reactions have taken, but he has no idea why such a basic question with an equally basic response warrants blushing, of all things. He decides he doesn't care. "Then I suppose that may explain why he wasn't able to heal it back home."

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

TDM 015: IT'S ALWAYS SUNNY IN PARADISE

00. Arrival

I. Beach Episode

II. Sand Sport

III. Graciously Given Gifts

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject