"...Sometimes I wonder what my former self would think of me now. What Da Ge would think of me. Everything I did, I did for him but I can't see him ever approving of my methods."

Maybe it's crossing a line to speak of their own conflict so directly but if they're baring their vulnerabilities, no matter how ill-advised that might one day be. Really, who knows what the future will bring? There'd been a time when Huaisang never would've believed that he'd ever want to kill Jin Guangyao, much less singlehandedly orchestrate his demise and give himself a front row seat to the event.

But if they're going to share a home here without further bloodshed, it's necessary to have these talks, isn't it? Clear the air between them.
,
"I wish I could have met her. She sounds like a wonderful woman. Clever and resourceful to make the most of her position. It's very admirable."

Huaisang grows quiet, taking a deep breath, before picking up his tea.

"...I loved you, too," he murmurs into his cup, closing his eyes before taking a sip. "Once."