"I had a similar mindset but there were setbacks. A couple of the others looked to me for leadership. One of them needed more guidance than expected. It would've been easier if I'd had more experience myself."
It'd taken him by surprise just how much help Wei Wuxian had needed. Taking initiative with a man he'd followed in their younger years hadn't come easily to him. And in the end, he hadn't been able to easily separate his friend's soul from the body he inhabited. One of the unfortunate casualties of his pursuit of justice.
Huaisang sips his tea and sighs.
"My first encounter wasn't kind. I was attacked by someone. I wasn't in my right mind when it happened. My feelings are mixed about it but what's done is done."
His tone is unusually somber, his expression carefully blank, but there's genuine sadness in his eyes. Even now, Huaisang still regrets that his first time with a man had not been a softer experience. It'd awakened a darker side in him he's still not entirely comfortable with admitting to. He hasn't been the same since that day but like so many other things in this life, there's no takebacks or undoing. It's only a matter of time before Xue Yang notices he's come back and seek him out again.
"I haven't had many tender moments with people here. But most of it is a means to an end anyhow, is it not? Fucking is how we provide for ourselves and those we care about here."
cw: reference to noncon
It'd taken him by surprise just how much help Wei Wuxian had needed. Taking initiative with a man he'd followed in their younger years hadn't come easily to him. And in the end, he hadn't been able to easily separate his friend's soul from the body he inhabited. One of the unfortunate casualties of his pursuit of justice.
Huaisang sips his tea and sighs.
"My first encounter wasn't kind. I was attacked by someone. I wasn't in my right mind when it happened. My feelings are mixed about it but what's done is done."
His tone is unusually somber, his expression carefully blank, but there's genuine sadness in his eyes. Even now, Huaisang still regrets that his first time with a man had not been a softer experience. It'd awakened a darker side in him he's still not entirely comfortable with admitting to. He hasn't been the same since that day but like so many other things in this life, there's no takebacks or undoing. It's only a matter of time before Xue Yang notices he's come back and seek him out again.
"I haven't had many tender moments with people here. But most of it is a means to an end anyhow, is it not? Fucking is how we provide for ourselves and those we care about here."