He had to. [ If masturbation alone worked then just about everyone here would be living like they're the 1%. Maybe. Nao surely wouldn't be living in this small apartment alone if he could get away with doing just that. If he was somehow given the choice to have sex with another to live in a nicer home, he'd still rather stay here, or even the streets. ]
Taichi.
[ Nao scoots to close the distance between them again, but if other moves away...well, he supposes he deserves it. If he hadn't eaten that cookie then they wouldn't even be having this conversation. Taichi's back and his own oversight hurt him. ] I'm not going to ask you to stop being mad at me. [ After what Taichi went through with his family? The circumstances that led up to his parents' divorce? No, Nao doesn't expect forgiveness this time, painful as it is. That's two people in Taichi's life that let him down and Nao just had to be the other one. ]
I told him I didn't want him or anyone over, but...it hurt a lot, so he helped me by...getting me to talk about you. That worked, somehow. [ As he says this, cheeks hot from embarrassment even more from guilt, he sounds just as confused as the other might be at the sound of that, but he is being truthful.
Nao doesn't hesitate to grasp for Taichi's hand with both of his this time. He's been looking at his ring more often than he ever as and still has it kept on. ]
...I know everything sounds stupid, especially me. I'm still trying to make sense of it all. [ The next words are spoken with a lot more certainty. ] But you were always always on my mind since I got here. I don't think there's anyone I've talked to that doesn't know I have someone I already love. He knows too. [ He told Ignis a good amount about his life, probably more than he should have? But he trusts that man and still does. He needed to talk it out anyway. For Taichi it may have been seconds ago but for Nao, it still has been almost a month of being apart. The thought of that barely processes his mind just now, as his vision starts to get wet and blurry. ]
I'm sorry. [ The only thing really keeping Nao from sobbing is his own anger towards himself. They've said and done really hurtful things to each other but this is the worst Nao has ever felt. Even he starts to feel like he's talking to much. ]
I really messed up and I know you're hurt because of me. Y-you don't have to forgive me but please believe me when I say that I've never stopped thinking about you.
sorry for word vomit :x
Taichi.
[ Nao scoots to close the distance between them again, but if other moves away...well, he supposes he deserves it. If he hadn't eaten that cookie then they wouldn't even be having this conversation. Taichi's back and his own oversight hurt him. ] I'm not going to ask you to stop being mad at me. [ After what Taichi went through with his family? The circumstances that led up to his parents' divorce? No, Nao doesn't expect forgiveness this time, painful as it is. That's two people in Taichi's life that let him down and Nao just had to be the other one. ]
I told him I didn't want him or anyone over, but...it hurt a lot, so he helped me by...getting me to talk about you. That worked, somehow. [ As he says this, cheeks hot from embarrassment even more from guilt, he sounds just as confused as the other might be at the sound of that, but he is being truthful.
Nao doesn't hesitate to grasp for Taichi's hand with both of his this time. He's been looking at his ring more often than he ever as and still has it kept on. ]
...I know everything sounds stupid, especially me. I'm still trying to make sense of it all. [ The next words are spoken with a lot more certainty. ] But you were always always on my mind since I got here. I don't think there's anyone I've talked to that doesn't know I have someone I already love. He knows too. [ He told Ignis a good amount about his life, probably more than he should have? But he trusts that man and still does. He needed to talk it out anyway. For Taichi it may have been seconds ago but for Nao, it still has been almost a month of being apart. The thought of that barely processes his mind just now, as his vision starts to get wet and blurry. ]
I'm sorry. [ The only thing really keeping Nao from sobbing is his own anger towards himself. They've said and done really hurtful things to each other but this is the worst Nao has ever felt. Even he starts to feel like he's talking to much. ]
I really messed up and I know you're hurt because of me. Y-you don't have to forgive me but please believe me when I say that I've never stopped thinking about you.