[He didn't need to explain anything to her. Not when she has been observing him this entire time. Well, mainly the times she was able to keep her consciousness intact, and even then there will bits and pieces she was able to remember. Very small fragments of the whole picture.
But right now, with the way he was explaining himself with a finesse, eloquent, and with as much passion, or possibly even more, on the subject of helping others. Be it spirits or not.
And yet, there was a slight edge to it all, almost as if he has experience in this topic. No, he definitely has the experience, but there was more underneath the surface. What could it be...? His words -- they were more than enough to bring forth the images of both Livius and Sidon into her mind. He described them perfectly! Including the reason for their sufferings.
She was impressed!
....too bad she was beginning to feel nervous at the sudden closeness. It was more than enough to keep her tongue from forming any words. She was feeling completely self-conscious. Almost naked. No, more like, she felt more naked now than she did a few moments ago. Why...?
Looking down, avoiding her gaze away from his, she will smile warmly, for a single moment, before turning into a more bittersweet one.]
You're not wrong. People lash out because of their suffering. Many come to regret their mistakes after learning to let it go and forgive. Because once they do, it would've been too late -- they passed on their suffering to someone else. Harming them in the same unimaginable way as they were, continuing the cycle of hate and pain...
[She had to witness the cycle from Livius onto Ursula and so on. Witnessing the way both went down a dark path, almost losing their way deeper into it until....]
But, I don't believe in that idea of protecting myself. How can I help others escape if I'm not putting my entire life on the line for them!? How can I prove my sincerity if I'm not being entirely honest about it? How can I ever learn to understand their suffering if I'm not allowing myself to get hurt in the process?
[She threw herself into the darkness alongside Livius! Reaching her hand out desperately to the drowning boy being swallowed by it all. As much as she can condemn Livius for all of his sins...]
I want to protect everyone and everything! I promise I won't needlessly sacrifice myself for it. But I can't just hope to get away scot-free once I get involved! It's impossible!
[And she already knew the best way to help those spirits! They showed her. That should be more than enough, and yet...
A piece of her knew the only reason he was so against the idea of it was because of her. She was not the type of person for this job. There was no confidence or experience. If she was a different person, then maybe...
Looking up towards the boy before her, she'll be reminded all over again the reason she looked away -- the closeness was making her feel something she was trying very hard to avoid or even acknowledge. Everything in her being was telling her to pull away, to run, and simply put -- place distance between them.
Ah.....now she can't talk any more.....just because of this.
Her heart was hurting. It was almost difficult to breathe.
What can she now do in this situation? How to get over it...? Her grip over the white cloak wrapped her will get stronger, pulling into her even more...]
no subject
But right now, with the way he was explaining himself with a finesse, eloquent, and with as much passion, or possibly even more, on the subject of helping others. Be it spirits or not.
And yet, there was a slight edge to it all, almost as if he has experience in this topic. No, he definitely has the experience, but there was more underneath the surface. What could it be...? His words -- they were more than enough to bring forth the images of both Livius and Sidon into her mind. He described them perfectly! Including the reason for their sufferings.
She was impressed!
....too bad she was beginning to feel nervous at the sudden closeness. It was more than enough to keep her tongue from forming any words. She was feeling completely self-conscious. Almost naked. No, more like, she felt more naked now than she did a few moments ago. Why...?
Looking down, avoiding her gaze away from his, she will smile warmly, for a single moment, before turning into a more bittersweet one.]
You're not wrong. People lash out because of their suffering. Many come to regret their mistakes after learning to let it go and forgive. Because once they do, it would've been too late -- they passed on their suffering to someone else. Harming them in the same unimaginable way as they were, continuing the cycle of hate and pain...
[She had to witness the cycle from Livius onto Ursula and so on. Witnessing the way both went down a dark path, almost losing their way deeper into it until....]
But, I don't believe in that idea of protecting myself. How can I help others escape if I'm not putting my entire life on the line for them!? How can I prove my sincerity if I'm not being entirely honest about it? How can I ever learn to understand their suffering if I'm not allowing myself to get hurt in the process?
[She threw herself into the darkness alongside Livius! Reaching her hand out desperately to the drowning boy being swallowed by it all. As much as she can condemn Livius for all of his sins...]
I want to protect everyone and everything! I promise I won't needlessly sacrifice myself for it. But I can't just hope to get away scot-free once I get involved! It's impossible!
[And she already knew the best way to help those spirits! They showed her. That should be more than enough, and yet...
A piece of her knew the only reason he was so against the idea of it was because of her. She was not the type of person for this job. There was no confidence or experience. If she was a different person, then maybe...
Looking up towards the boy before her, she'll be reminded all over again the reason she looked away -- the closeness was making her feel something she was trying very hard to avoid or even acknowledge. Everything in her being was telling her to pull away, to run, and simply put -- place distance between them.
Ah.....now she can't talk any more.....just because of this.
Her heart was hurting. It was almost difficult to breathe.
What can she now do in this situation? How to get over it...? Her grip over the white cloak wrapped her will get stronger, pulling into her even more...]
...b-but....I guess.....to that....your plan....working together.
[To find another way to help the spirits if it'll help him feel better about it all. If he doesn't want her to go all-in, then...]
I'll grant it another way. [A pause.] I-I mean, we will. Can. Could.
[Why was this so difficult!? This shouldn't be difficult!]
...we just need to find another way to have them open their hearts to us...