[ it starts off smooth sailing.

get the crabs, put them in the bucket, net yourself some points. easy enough. while his more superhuman abilities have been rendered to nothing, the reflexes are still there; so with the curl of his soles, he scoops a few crabs up with his feet in a fluid motion. starts himself a rhythm and goes at it a tad too intently, even.

until the crabs grow more diligent, deftly escaping his clutches, and he grows more irritable in turn.

so before he can even register it, raiden is now vigorously stomping at the crabs in question with his high heels. right. ]

Maybe, [ he grits out. ] if you had just...made this easier for me...goddamn...!

[ a shell crackles in between his taloned fingertips. and at long last, his eyes catch yours. ]

Oh. [ and for some reason, his voice is at an almost unnaturally gravel-like pitch. ] Hey.

[ he's come to a conclusion: this place is a bit of a freakshow. nothing really new in that department, but he can't say he's ever seen sexuality actively celebrated.

he doesn't bother with the toga, but the foodie in him can't turn down a good offer. penis shaped or not, does it really matter — there's a massive lollipop wedged in between his fingers. it's shaped like everything else is. he sniffs it a bit gingerly, just for any traces of poison.

and then he bites down harshly, swallowing it in one gulp. the crunch is audible too, if not a little savage in nature. ]

Eugh. [ his eyes flicker up. ] ...Tastes like high fructose syrup with a hint of cherry. I'll pass. How are people this crazy about rock candy, anyways?

[ well, might as well go for the nearest krab-dog. raiden offers the vendor a polite nod of the head and an earnest "thanks". ]

Want one? [ a hand gestures one towards you. it's shaped like a dick, yet again. ] I got extra.

[ raiden eventually resigns and wears the toga he's offered. it's wound over his shoulder, ill fitting for his form. needless to say, it isn't exactly a surprise that it tears later.

fortunately for him, there are a handful of maid dresses on sale. and he has the pleasure of being pawned one for free. the conversation is a relic of the past by now, but they'd mentioned something about how he was an ideal model for it.

in his hands is another maid dress. it's been folded very neatly. he sees you, and his eyes narrow with scrutiny. ]

They're looking for someone else to model this with me. [ a beat. ] You get free stuff if you do.

[ there is no dancing. no drinking. he instead opts to head straight to his tent and sit up against the fold, back straight, hands folded over his abdomen. the sleeping bag's been set aside for whoever has the misfortune of being here. ]

It's all yours. [ had you not known any better, you'd think his tone was leisurely there. ] I'm not goin' to bed. Listen, I know we're stuck here in Sexlandia and everything is fine and great and potentially sexy depending on whatever you're doing — but I can't say that I trust any of you to not try to kill me in my sleep. Just putting that out there. So thanks and sweet dreams.

[ feel free to hit me with anything else! raiden's in his late 30s and looks like this. i'm open to m/f and m/m but let's be real none of these prompts are remotely sexy anyways. ]